Gratitude in Action

Kate: [00:00:00] And I get lots of messages from people, messaging me saying, your gratitude cards have just really really helped me. When I see that it’s impacting more and more people to understand that, then when they feel grateful, they’re then passing it on.

Eric: What I’ve learned is that when I do lean into gratitude in, in, in doing that more and more I get to tune into the better version of me

Rob: taking time to reflect on the idea that I don’t have forever.

Yeah. I find myself leaning into gratitude more,

Wendy: but I get to do this and I get to have five minutes every morning to breathe, sit, drink my coffee, and maybe think about five things that I’m grateful for.

Eric: Hey, nation, welcome to the Living Richard podcast. We’re so excited you’ve joined us again today. We are dialing into gratitude today and not just as a concept, but how to live it daily, deeply, and especially when life gets messy. And we’ve got the whole crew here to talk about this today. But we’re really zeroing in on [00:01:00] Kate and get to mindset. That’s been a for me anyway, and for several of us a mindset that’s really been revolutionary. And those damn gratitude cards of yours, those new cards of yours. These are not just like nice to haves. They’re like a real game changer. I call ’em like a, they’re,

Rob: they’re get to have

Eric: a get to have.

Oh, nice. Nicely done. Nicely done. But let’s dive right in. And Kate, question for you is what do you think is the real key from moving from simply knowing gratitude and the daily practice of it? And how did this spark the creation of get to and the gratitude cards?

Kate: Yeah, great question. It’s almost it’s almost like you I coming

Eric (2): like it.

Yeah. No,

Kate: but honestly for me, when I realized like living gratitude was like this amazing, almost addictive thing.

All: Yeah.

Kate: And when I started to practice gratitude more and more for me it’s like it’s really replacing a negative thought pattern with a positive one really quickly. And the amount of joy and almost euphoria for me that I [00:02:00] got at a practicing gratitude for a long time was like, addictive to me. And I wanted to share it with as many people as I could. And so when I founded a get to Mindset, it was really for me about how can I share it, but how do I share that like high, that what took me like years to get to really quickly with someone?

So how can I get them to switch get them to switch from that? I have to statement into that. I get to statement. Which really, we’ll talk about it today, but it is, you feel it in your. Body, you feel it in your bone. So how can I do that quickly and get to Mindset was founded with a simple like word switch.

Yeah. And I have to go to the grocery store. I get to go to the grocery store and we’ll dive into it. Yeah. And then the cards were just like, how do I make it even easier? Yeah. For people who don’t. They’re like, they hear the word like gratitude journal and they’re like, I’m not gonna do all that.

So created the gratitude cards to help, almost like to give someone an idea of something they might be grateful for.

Rob: They’re almost habit inducing. Love that. Because they’re so simple and [00:03:00] they’re. It’s such a clean concept. Yeah. You just pull one every day and again, every day it forms a habit.

And I love that, that’s the kind of the model that you created. Yeah. Yeah. So great.

Kate: I think people think gratitude has to be a big thing. And that’s why I created list like the simple models.

All: Yeah.

Kate: But the science shows that like micro moments of gratitude in your day really add up. And it’s the same health benefits.

You sleep better, you have lower stress levels, and it’s all scientifically documented. But I think people think I’m not gonna write a gratitude journal. I’m not, I don’t wanna sit there and tell someone why I’m so grateful for them. It just feels like it has to be big and like super meaningful.

And it’s not always about that. It’s just, it’s infusing little bits of gratitude. Into your day.

Eric (2): Yeah.

Rob: Love

Eric (2): that. Love that.

Kate: Yeah. What about for you guys? I’m curious. Yeah.

Rob: I think for that you said the science, it, the, we know this, the more we’ve studied the brain now. Yeah. The rewiring that happens and when you shift language is the the most critical [00:04:00] way to rewire a brain Yeah.

Is to change your language, change your thoughts and the more you make that shift, all of a sudden your outlook on everything changes. When you. Just simply shift language from I have to, I should

Eric: to I get

Rob: to,

Kate: yes.

Eric: For me I I, I think I spent so much of my life like in a constant state of what’s next?

Fixing fire, solving problems, pushing through pain and so stopping to say, oh, I’m grateful for this. Just felt. So counterintuitive, especially when it was like going through something more difficult. Yeah, but that’s really changed for me and you’ve been A big part of that.

Yeah.

Wendy: Yeah. I think society, for a long time and even more focuses on fixing problems rather than really just appreciating the moments that we have. And to your point, it doesn’t have to be a big thing. I find when it’s. People just get too overwhelmed because it’s one more thing they have to do on their to-do list versus, but I get to do this and I get to have five minutes every morning to breathe, sit, drink my coffee, and maybe think [00:05:00] about five things that I’m grateful for, or use the cards, which is such a great tool to just tie that back into recentering themselves for the day.

Yes. Couldn’t agree more.

Eric: Yeah. I love that. You’ve created these tools in this framework obviously to make gratitude practice more accessible to people. But I’m curious, like how has your gratitude practice for each of you evolved over time? And did it feel unnatural at first? Did it feel forced or unnatural?

Oh my

Kate: God. So I am like, I love that we’re having this discussion. We did a gratitude episode a long time ago, so I’m curious to know if it’s, if yours has evolved. ’cause I think it’s really, I know mine has, even from when we did that show. Yeah. I know. For me at the beginning, yeah, it feels awkward as.

Fuck, I’m sorry, but like it really does, it feels super unnatural. It doesn’t feel authentic. Yeah. I’m grateful it, like you don’t feel good about it, but over time the more you practice gratitude and what I’ve learned is the more you move from the what you’re grateful for, to why you’re grateful for that is where the magic [00:06:00] happens.

Yeah. It’s when you connect the heart and mind. Together when you start saying I am, we might start really broad, early. Yeah. I’m grateful for my kids. That’s great. That’s a fantastic statement. But then you say it up here and you’re cerebral, but feel it when you say, I get to love my kids, or I get to be, spend time with my kids.

And then you start to dig into that. What does that. Feel like when you picture yourself spending time with your kids, what are you doing? What are you in that moment? And when you can actually feel the heart and connect it to the mind statement, that’s the power of gratitude. I

Rob: think you define it really well.

That’s what the shift was for me. Like for me, so I grew up in a home where with all of the trouble and I’ve shared my story and all of the stuff that went on in my life. I was raised by my mom was somebody who was, had that gratitude mindset. And it didn’t matter what was going on in her life, it didn’t matter what was happening.

She always looked at it from the [00:07:00] opportunity that was there and, just, she did. She did see life through a gratitude lens, so I was raised with that. So it was a natural thing for me, but it wasn’t deliberate. And I love what you just said there because I think right from when I was a young kid, I.

Would tend to be more grateful for things than, but I didn’t understand why and when I started And so what was weird? What was hard, what was awkward was act was the pausing to say, this is why I’m grateful for that. This is what that means for me. Because I just hadn’t, cons hadn’t taken that thought of the concepts behind it.

Eric: Wow. Yeah. So we use the cards on a regular basis since they were released and, but one of the cool things that we, the two of us started doing before the cards were even available, they were still a work in progress at the time. Is daily. We have a a spreadsheet or a document, a shared document where we.

Every day write something down that we’re grateful for. And it started first, we would text it to [00:08:00] each other. Sometimes we still do that. But it always ends up in this document. And we’re on, as of today, 123 days of gratitude. Now, do we do it every single day? No. And I have to admit, be perfectly honest, when you suggested that I was like, yeah, sounds like a good idea.

And then we start getting into the practice of it. And there were days where I was like I gotta try to force myself to find something to be grateful for and feeling mildly annoyed that I need to write it down. Yeah. Like it was, because it wasn’t. Part of my practice. But now there are days again it’s quite natural.

I have a reminder on my phone every morning to do it. Now, there are days I don’t and I, we forget. You forget. I forget. But then it gives me the opportunity to go back this week has been a particularly busy week and I just fell out of the daily practice of it. But I know what’s gonna happen is this weekend I’m gonna sit down and I’m gonna revisit Monday.

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and identify, go back off. And I look up my calendar. I remind myself of what, what was going on that day, and find one thing to be grateful for. And I tell you, it’s a powerful [00:09:00] practice that you can be grateful for something that’s upcoming or something that’s already happened.

But that daily practice is a real game changer. 123 days. I’m,

Kate: I, I’m glad you know the number. I didn’t know the number. I

Eric: know the number. I looked it up. So

Kate: our commit, my, my ask of Eric was for 365 days. Yeah. I want us to do it for a year. Yeah. And write like we originally it was a text. Can we just text each other what we’re grateful for?

Yeah. Every day. And then it turned into a document. ’cause I was copying and pasting the text. I’m like, I can’t do this for 365 days. We just,

Eric: but babe, do the document the way there. Already threw it the way they saw.

Kate: Yeah. Which feels no time. And it’s pretty amazing to go back and read all of those, you reflect on a year of gratitude and it’s a very powerful reflection tool too.

Eric (2): Yeah. A hundred percent. Yeah. Hundred percent.

Wendy: I think for me, it goes back to when I had my accident back in 2018 and really just dialing into working my gratitude routine as. Like a muscle, like I was rebuilding from from my accident. It started to become easier. It started to flow better and it just became part of my habits [00:10:00] every day.

Yeah. I love that day. But to your point, it doesn’t get done every single day. Yeah. And that’s okay. Yeah, I think it’s about that progress, not perfection, where a hundred percent, a lot of people will think if I’m not doing it one day, then I’m not doing it. I’m not doing it. Fucked it up.

Kate: I exactly it. Fuck up. It’s

Eric: like I’m doing gratitude wrong.

Kate: Yeah. That, but that totally, it’s the same. It’s if you go, I’m gonna go to the gym and you don’t go one day and the next thing, you haven’t gone for five days ’cause you miss one day. Yeah. It’s the same thing.

Eric: What’s you’re failing saying like you have one flat tire, what you do get out and slash the other door, but pocket

Kate: other.

Eric: We do that all the time though, don’t we? It’s yeah. Again, this progress versus perfection and, but the, again, the, it’s not been a perfect practice, but the practice of it has really made a huge difference. I’m curious when for each of you did gratitude shift from something you had to remind yourself to do to something that became more second nature or.

Or has it? Has it become second nature or are you still a work in progress?

Wendy: I think it’s happened in little moments stocked over time. I just, I see it as just very stackable over the years. I feel like as I get older it’s just [00:11:00] become more, so there wasn’t one specific moment, but it’s.

Been stackable over time.

Rob: Right, i’m finding myself in a season of doing that. I’ve talked about it a number of times in different episodes. That I’m, books that speak about, think about Your Death Daily. And this idea, whether it’s comfort crisis or chasing daylight books that really focus in on the fact that we have a limited time on this planet and our days.

For most of us are unknown. And so to be able to be in the moment and to live each day, and I think the more that I, when I’m dwelling on that, when I’m taking time to reflect on the idea that I don’t have forever, yeah. I find myself leaning into gratitude more. Oh, huge. When I’m focused on all the shit that’s going on and the busyness and the craziness, or this person’s upset, or I’ve gotta keep this person, when I’m focused on that.

Gratitude often goes out the window. Yeah. And it be right. So I think that’s for me probably so I’m, I like that you said that about stackable. It’s, there’s days where it’s really [00:12:00] easy. Yeah. Other days where not so much.

Kate: Yeah. I think that’s for most people. Yeah. I think for me it’s always there.

Now for me, I live and breathe it obviously built a business around it. So for me it is innate. I think truly where it became so part of my life though, is when I realized I was having impact on. Other people, when I hear people would send me messages and I’m switching from, and I have to, and I get to, and it really helped me today.

And then I was like, oh, that’s really cool. And it, I think it just empowered me more and more to really lean into gratitude to know that it’s helping people. I know. I remember, I think it’s one of your clients, Jean-Michel. Yeah. And he was running the marathon and he had written a note on LinkedIn about he’s at the end of the marathon and he’s just I don’t think I can do this.

And he really sank into the, I get to message where. I get to run this marathon and I get to power through, and I like Yeah, love that. When reading stories like that is what really inspires me to keep going and keep spreading the gratitude, joy message for sure.

Eric: Yeah. Yeah. I’d say for me it’s it’s still a work in [00:13:00] progress and evolving.

There’s still days that I like. I wouldn’t say I practice it perfectly by any stretch, but what I’ve learned is that when I do lean into gratitude in, in, in doing that more and more I get to tune into the better version of me, not the stressed out, overextended right version of me. Because often I think life is happening so fast.

We just did an episode on the Busy trap and how to escape it. Yeah. And I think we’re and we talked about how we get. Caught up in this, just this flurry of activity and living life based on other people’s expectations and demands. And in that it can be very hard to find joy, very hard to find gratitude.

But when you literally stop and take. But take stock of what’s actually happening. There’s always something to be grateful for, or even if it’s something small and that really can shift the energy for you. For me anyway, it really shifts. Like I said I can go from ah to I’m good.

Like I’m so grateful for today, even though there’s been some tough

Kate: moments. Yeah. It’s one of the fastest ways to shift your energy is to lean into [00:14:00] gratitude and they’ve shown that so that if you, and one of the ways I teach that is switch that I have to do Google. I have to go do groceries. Do I get to go do groceries?

I’m picking on that one today because I have to go do groceries when I leave here. But that is if you can really feel, when you say you have to do something, if you say it, I have to go do groceries. You instantly feel very defeated. You feel defeated. Your body goes down, and when you say, I get to go do groceries, you lift up.

Yeah, you look up a lot of the time, like it’s a very, it’s. Tied to your physical and then that it’s an instant energy reset. That’s

Eric: a complete reset. It

Kate: is a reset, yeah. A hundred percent. A hundred

Eric: percent. It’s amazing. And in preparation for today’s show, we thought, let’s be practical and actually use the cards.

And so each of us pulled our own card, and then we chose the card. This was done not done by random. That’s right. We’re gonna do a, an exercise later where we pull a card at random respond to it. I can’t wait. I, and I’m gonna go first if that’s okay. Yeah. So the card, it’s.

Kate: I’m sorry.

Eric: I know.

I’m hosting so I’m gonna do it again. Okay. And I know I’m sitting beside you. I might get an elbow now ’cause we’ve never actually sat [00:15:00] beside each other on the show. It is fine. Yeah. You get to, I get to get

there. You. That’s awesome. But this card I actually pulled not that long ago. Yes, I know you’re going. When we were exchanging, like we did that, our morning ritual of exchanging cards, or not exchanging cards, but pulling cards and mine says I get to enjoy all the joy today brings. Because I might not get tomorrow.

And this speaks to what you just referred to and recent conversation you and I had, and I shared it, I think on the show with Quadro recently. And Anmar one of the two docs that were on was talking about men in midlife. And that was a powerful conversation. But I shared the same story that recently I got really present and I remember sharing this with you and you didn’t really like what I had to say there, but I said I, I just turned 54.

Not just turned 54, a little while ago, I turned 54. And I just be got really present to the fact that I have lived more years than I have left. And that I really wanna make these remaining years. I, and I believe I still got lots of them. Yeah. Really make him count. But I also got really [00:16:00] present and grateful that if I drop dead tomorrow, which I don’t plan on doing, and that wasn’t my intent, but I said if I drop dead tomorrow I could do that.

With feeling like I have helped a lot of people that my life has made a difference already that my life has been lived in the service of others and trying to make the world a better place. Yeah. And so when I pulled this card, I’d already had this. Like this epiphany, this awareness.

I don’t think I’d had the conversation with you yet. I think this con, this card prompted that and I remember you saying I’m not good with that.

Kate: Yeah. We, it’s, what’s so funny is we literally just talked about this conversation before you write this already and I was like, Eric brought it up and I was like, I’m not, it’s like, where do I find I’m not good with this?

Yeah. But I understand that like totally. Yeah. It’s just, I think getting

Eric: really present to, I’m gonna make today. I’m gonna squeeze every Jo mo amount of joy and purpose out today. ’cause actually, that’s all I’m guaranteed. Love. That is the day ahead of me. Love, right? Love. Really meaningful card for No,

Wendy: I love that.

Yeah. I pulled I.

Eric: Oh, sorry. I was cheating. Oh my. It’s a [00:17:00] private moment. You’re about to share it on a podcast. It’s not very private. 96,000 people subscribe to this podcast, but it’s

Wendy: you and your 90,000 friends and you can hear it the same as my 90.

Eric: Oh, okay. I was trying to get advanced preview.

Wendy: I get to show up.

How I get to choose how I show up today. And I think this is a powerful reminder on with all of the busyness, all of the things that we have going on in life. We really get to choose where we want our energy to go. We get to choose what to invest our time in. We get to choose what we respond to.

Of course, we all have responsibilities, obligations, all that kind of stuff. But who we show up. As today, we’ll shape our tomorrow. Yeah. And that’s really what spoke to me about this. I love that, that

Eric (2): love that. That’s amazing. Powerful,

Eric: powerful.

Rob: The one I pulled out was I get to be grateful for the present moment and the opportunities that it offers.

And I’ve I’ve looked at this one actually a number of times in preparation for the show, and it is around [00:18:00] being. Present in those moments and appreciating them. Like I, I look at just this moment here I am sitting here with, four amazing human beings. Now I know that you can only see three of them, but Steve’s here four amazing human beings creating.

Something that is going out there to, 90 some thousand subscribers on YouTube and thousands of subscribers through audio that’s impacting the living richly nation. We are, we get to play perhaps a small part or a big part in the lives of others. Hell yeah. How could you not be gratitude?

Yeah. Have gratitude for a moment like that, to be grateful for this opportunity to be here. Yeah.

Kate: Amazing. I love that one. Amazing. One of my favorite things about gratitude is that it. It brings you to the present. Yeah. So when you use an I get to statement or you just sink into, be grateful for something like that, we all just got, we were even more here.

Yeah. If that makes sense. Yep. One of my favorite things, it does make sense. Okay. Mine was, I get to be me. This is [00:19:00] the shortest one. Sentence in, in the whole deck. But this for me is a reminder to love on myself, and it’s because it’s not about anyone else loving on me. So that’s a self worth card for me.

Yeah. So I get to be me. Yeah. No one else gets to be me. I get to show up today authentically as who I am and I get to love on myself. And for me, that card is the most powerful card out of all of them.

Eric: I love that. Love. That’s awesome. I think. When it comes to gratitude, there’s a major difference between feeling grateful and being grateful, and I think sometimes we get the two mixed up.

I’m curious, have you guys ever personally hit a point where gratitude felt forced or didn’t feel like it was working, and how did you work your way through that?

Kate: Yeah, so I talk a lot about this where people are like, when I like I’m ungrateful and they don’t feel it right? And I say it like I un ungrateful.

Eric: That’s how they, let’s say she has the best sort of like [00:20:00] animations. It’s like she animates what she talks.

Kate: I can’t help it, but I am. Gratitude is not supposed to replace sadness and pain. They’re, they live together in parallel. That’s powerful. We’re humans, like we’re, you’re gonna feel sad and pain.

It’s not about faking it till you make it with G like fake the happiness. That’s not what it’s about, you can find gratitude in some really dark moments. I heard, and I’m gonna give an example ’cause I heard it said the best way it was on a show I watch. Can’t remember who was on it, but. It was said really well.

Someone in the audience asked a question and he’s can you be grateful for everything in your life? And this man answered and he’s no. And I was like, okay. I remember just sitting. And then he gave this example, and I’m gonna make it a personal example. So when my stepdad John passed away, was I grateful?

No. Am I grateful today? Fuck no. Still not grateful. I. But I can find gratitude in his passing. I am grateful for the 30 years I had with him. Yeah. I’m grateful for the grandpa role he played with my [00:21:00] kids. I’m grateful for how much joy he brought. Yeah. My mom.

All: Yeah,

Kate: so it You don’t necessarily grateful for pain.

I’m not grateful for the loss, but you can find. Gratitude that just helps sometimes. Remove or lift some of that pain. It’s not supposed to get rid of it or squash it. They live together. And,

Rob: and I’ll take that a step further because I’ve, and I’ve, when Katie died again, same thing.

I’m not grateful that my daughter died. I’m not grateful that I got to go through that.

All: No.

Rob: I do find gratitude and I’m grateful for what it is, what that experience has allowed me to share, and how it has impacted the lives of others. Yeah. And so I think you can find in every experience Yes. As horrible or as wonderful.

Yes. You can find the thing, the what the element of it to be grateful for. Yeah. So I, in that context. You can find gratitude in anything.

All: [00:22:00] Yeah.

Rob: And let’s face it even when you’re I love what you said there about sadness, because you, the brain doesn’t know the difference.

Exactly. Your brain it’s whether you’re making something up or you are experiencing it, the brain doesn’t know the difference. Yeah. And you can be sad. And yet also be grateful Yes. For moments and experiences. And your brain still hears the gratitude. Yes, exactly. It’s a

Kate: great way to say it, Rob.

Love that. Yeah. Great way. Say it during,

Eric: for me, during my burnout years when I wasn’t in a good shape often for me, like gratitude felt fake. It felt forced. And although I try to do it, it’s like I was trying to polish a turd with positive thinking. Like it’s just, it’s wow. The best way to put it.

That’s a nice turn. That’s a nice turn. I was trying to. Posture, but it’s what helped was just trying to notice good things around me. Even little things. Maybe a good cup of coffee, the sun coming through the window, a conversation that didn’t suck because I think sometimes we make it, especially when we’re not.

Feeling it.

Kate: Yes.

Eric: Again, that’s why I come back to that. It’s not about a, sometimes you will feel grateful. Other times it’s, you’re [00:23:00] finding something to be grateful for. Uhhuh, you may not feel it. Yes. But you’re choosing to see the positive and you’re choosing to see the good even in the darkness. Which is I think what you guys were both referring to

Wendy: think gratitude doesn’t mean ignoring the hard stuff. No. ’cause we all have hard stuff and learning to allow space. For both. You can be grateful and still struggle, like just to the points that all of you made, but allowing that space for both.

Kate: Yeah. It’s not one or the other. Yeah, it’s both.

Eric: Totally.

Kate: Yeah.

Eric: And let’s talk about the ripple effect, right? We’ve been focusing on gratitude as a personal practice and the importance of that. But the reality is that it has just like negative energy has a ripple effect. I think gratitude has a rip positive ripple effect in people around you.

Have you seen that and you, can you give us some examples? I.

Kate: Yeah, I see it all the time. It’s my favorite part about gratitude is to see the ripple effect when you say something like, Eric brings me my coffee in the morning, and I’m like, I’m just like, thank you. I’m so grateful for you.

Like that small [00:24:00] statement can mean so much to somebody else, and then somebody else takes that into their day. Yeah. It is a very contagious way of thinking and approaching, and I get lots of messages from people, messaging me saying, your gratitude cards have just really really helped me.

When I see that it’s impacting more and more people to understand that, then when they feel grateful, they’re then passing it on. And they’re then passing it. And I’m gonna read something that Matthew Rippa Young sent.

Eric: Yeah. ‘

Kate: cause it was a really,

Eric: Matthew one of our favorite people Yeah. Him back on the show.

Kate: Yeah. I’m gonna read this. So he just randomly messaged me on Messenger and I have his approval. I didn’t just steal this ’cause it was a private message. But in short, like he used to never work on Fridays. He hasn’t worked on Fridays in a long time. So he just sent me this note. He’s and he’s been like, starting to have to work on Fridays again, and he is not loving it.

So he, he tells me that and he’s however, last week, at some point I noticed a shift in my head where I was. Saying at least I have the option to work a little more when I need to, and it hit me. I get to work a [00:25:00] little more when I feel it is necessary. And that is a privilege. I don’t know that I would’ve arrived there without hearing you talk about your get to mindset.

So thank you dear Heart. You make a change without knowing it. Yeah. And that’s. That’s Matthew in a, like that just sum, he’s just like a warm hug. Yes. He’s

Rob: one of the nicest,

Kate: that’s a great

Rob: way to describe him. Matthew is a warm hug. He’s

Kate: a warm hug. Yeah. So for me it’s I feel like that’s the most amazing part of gratitude.

It’s the joy brings to Yeah.

Eric: It’s like, it’s literally like shifts the temperature in a room. Yeah. For leaders, for example, when they lead. With gratitude they shift from pressure to presence, right? When they express gratitude to their team members in a way that’s meaningful, in a way that’s sincere I think there can be insincere, gratitude, insincere appreciation.

But when it comes from the heart, your team starts to feel appreciated and they start to perform better because you have literally acknowledged the human side of the equation, right? Yeah. And at home it leads to better conversations, less conflict, less [00:26:00] drama. ’cause again, people feel appreciated. It’s a genuine, it doesn’t take much to say, thank you, I’m grateful for you.

I’m grateful for what you did. But it can have that, it’s the paying a forward effect, right? You deposit it, you make the deposit in one person, you have no idea how far that ripple might go. Yeah. Think of a negative interaction you had, right? Where someone maybe cut you off in traffic and now you’re pissed off.

Now you show up at work and. Now you piss somebody else off and that negative energy just like ripples out. Think of the power of you

Kate: turn that around,

Eric: And at a time where we’re living in really crazy times more of that positive energy could go along way.

Rob: We’ve all we’ve all heard the saying, misery loves company, right?

Yeah. Yeah. I think gratitude attracts company. Misery It goes chasing after looking for. Company. Looking for like-mindedness. Yeah. Whereas when you are, when you just exude gratitude, you’re actually like the light that is drawing in others. And so others are others, we, people come to you.

People want to be [00:27:00] around the positive person, the grateful person, the person who is expressing that gratitude to them. They’re drawn to those individuals. You’re feeling lonely, start speaking out and living a life of gratitude. You’ll find others will be coming to you just simply because they want more of that energy, that ripple.

Eric: Yeah. I love that. I love that. So good. Let me ask like, how does practicing gratitude change how we show up in relationships? So we’re talking about the ripple effect. I’m gonna want to focus and zero in on relationships specifically, both like in your personal life and professional life.

Wendy: I think in personal relationships, it really allows you to start focusing on what is positive or what is there versus what is lacking. Isn’t that our

Eric: default though, to Yeah. What we tend to focus on is what’s missing Yes. Instead of what’s there.

Wendy: Yes, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. That’s like us as humans, when we think about.

Everything that we’re doing wrong instead of what are all the things that we’re doing yeah. So on a personal relationship side, like I really think that can deepen just the overall [00:28:00] connection. Yeah. The appreciation around that. I think in the workplace setting I. It really helps build trust and respect, because then now you’ve got more community and collaboration, which then translates into growth.

Kate: Yeah.

Rob: Yeah. Love that. I think it strengthens those relationships. I totally, I was thinking the other day I was at at one of the studios, Wendy was coaching the classes and I was just sitting outside and in this. Studio, there’s a table that I can sit at with my iPad and I can see into the studio, I can see into the, doing the workout.

And I’m hearing Wendy, ’cause of course she’s on the microphone. But I’m watching her and at one moment I was just sitting there and I was just looking over at her and I was just thinking, I’m just so grateful for this woman in this person who is in my life. It, in that moment, everything else I was doing stops.

’cause I’m just drawn in and I’m even that much closer and connected to her even though she’s got no clue. What’s going on? She’s telling them all to jump into more burpees or whatever she’s doing. And I’m just, oh God, I hate bur, can I just say that? We [00:29:00] all hate burpees. Yeah. You get to do burpees.

That’s that’s, she told the class, you get to do burpees, you get to, and now they’ve all unsubscribed

Eric: from mindset. Like

Rob: Yeah, but I, but it does, I think as it, when you practice gratitude with. Whether it’s the personal relationships or your work relationships, you’re drawn into a more powerful connection with those people.

Kate: Yeah. It becomes a more intimate relationship. Yeah. The more you can, like it’s that communication piece, the more you can really say and get in touch with. Like when you watching Wendy is like you’re feeling that you talk about when I talk my heart connection.

All: Yeah. That’s what

Kate: that is. Yeah. It’s not just looking, being like.

I’m grateful for that, that we have a grateful mug sitting on the table, right? Like you have to. I am really am grateful for that,

Wendy: but it, thank you, Kate.

Eric: So I showed up this morning and I asked for a mug. And what I discovered is that you guys don’t have, no, not us. So Wendy, I discovered that you don’t have a cupboard with [00:30:00] mugs.

It’s basically a Hallmark store. It’s Hallmark cards. We’ve got Cheers. Cheers. We’ve got grateful. We’ve got

Kate: Thankful. Yeah.

Eric: There’s all kind. It’s quite something. Yeah. It’s quite something.

Wendy: There’s one that’s come on, bitch. Love yourself. There’s

Kate: a whole, there’s so many,

Eric: there’s such a range.

Like you could pick based on your mood, which mug. I think it’s great. We think we should

Kate: just, we should do a podcast. Just pick a random PO and talk about how we feel like that.

Eric: It’s like picking cards, but we’re picking a random, yeah. For me in my relationships, I think gratitude helps to remind me that the people in my life aren’t just assets or obligations.

There are people I get to love, I get to serve, work with, learn from. It it makes me less reactive. More responsive, right. And I start asking it, it motivates me to ask that question, what do you need from me right now? How can I help? As opposed to, why the fuck are you so annoying?

Yeah,

Rob: why’d you look at, why’d you look at me? So you went like, why the fuck are you so annoying? Talk them.

Eric: If the shoe fits, Rob,

Rob: pull out another card.

All: We’re gonna do that. We should do that,

Eric: In a little bit. Let me [00:31:00] ask you this. What so we just talked about ripple effect relationships, but how does receiving gratitude.

Impact of us as much as practicing it. So it’s one thing for us to extend it to others, but what’s been the impact of gratitude when people are pouring it into you or giving it to you?

Kate: I it’s everything. Like I think when someone’s, you’re receiving gratitude, it like literally is strengthening again, that connection, that bond between two people.

For when think about it. If someone just said to you, I’m grateful for you. You instantly, what happens? You feel more connected, you feel loved. You feel all of the warm hugs from Matthew rip young like you do. I think that is, that’s the power of gratitude and that connection and that warmth.

Eric (2): Yeah. A hundred

Wendy: percent. I think

Kate: it boosts your

Wendy: self worth and it boosts your feelings of feeling worthy and that you play a part in somebody’s life. Yeah. In some way.

Eric: Yeah. It’s fe I call it like fuel, [00:32:00] to it. It is that recognition of being seen, being heard, being valued. I think if we’re overly dependent on.

That from others and don’t have it for ourselves. That’s something to work on. It’s like we all benefit from recognition. We all benefit from affirmation. We all benefit from a gratitude being extended our way. I think if we’re dependent on it for our sense of if it’s a need.

Ifs a Yeah. If it’s a need, if it’s but let’s face it, even those with the strongest sense of worth and the strongest sense of personal value it still makes your day when someone takes that time to recognize something you’ve done. And Hey, thank you. You’re really making a difference. That, that’s fuel for the soul.

It’s like somebody, it’s like a mirror reflecting your worth and value back to you, right? Yeah. In a really powerful way.

Kate: Yeah. I love

Eric: that. Yeah. Let’s be real. You didn’t start your business to feel this stressed, this stuck, and this alone. At Rhapsody, we help business owners just like you get their shit together.

That means building high performance teams, fixing time and money leaks, [00:33:00] and finally stepping into the kind of leadership that doesn’t leave you burnt out. You don’t need another guru. What you need is a coach who gets it and gets results. Go to rhapsody strategies.com and let’s get started. A lot of times, like you think of relationships that have fallen apart especially your relationship, your primary relationship, and people feel, what’s the one thing that they say unappreciated?

Yeah. It’s as often where, and even in the workplace, like people will leave a job because they feel unappreciated. We know the benefits of doing it. We know the damage that can happen if we don’t. So how can we be more intentional in both personally, professionally, in extending that gratitude to others?

Kate: Yeah. Oh, you, I was gonna say,

Rob: You got, you said it earlier, one of the ways you can be intentional, certainly if it’s a significant other, is to use something like the gratitude cards. Yeah. As part of a daily ritual. Yeah. That is, to me, one of the most simple ways where you don’t have to, hey, what’s, what are three things you’re grateful for?

Yeah. For a lot of people say, oh, in the moment [00:34:00] it’s when you’ve got the cards, you’re, you’ve got a starting point to now have that conversation. What a. Beautiful thing to do as a couple the way you’re doing it.

All: Yeah. Yeah.

Rob: What an interesting out of the box idea for a leader to do.

Out of the box. The cards do come out of a box, for FYI imagine as a leader in an organization using something like these. In a daily or weekly kind of touchpoint with their team. Yeah. To explore gratitude on the team is to use a tool like something like

Kate: that. Yeah. I have someone, Jennifer Topping big supporter of the podcast Origination.

Yeah. And she sends me, she loves her gratitude cards. What was so great is she already had a gratitude practice. Every morning she writes in her journal and she was. And like an early adopter of the cards. And she sends messages all the time. And she sent me one where she had been pulling that week and her cards were on point for her that week.

It really helped. But so much so that she takes her card and she puts it in her purse and it goes to work with her. Oh, wow. And she gets to work and she sits it on her desk. And she actually inspired me that I don’t actually, unless [00:35:00] you’re over, we do them together in the morning. Yeah. But if not, I do mine at my desk and I sit down and I, every morning it.

I pull my card first thing and it sits on my desk all day and I stare at it all day. What? So there is that crossover though, between like you’re doing it personally and then how, how can that help with leaders, right? And how can it help build your team and how does it build that sort of that team dynamic and that trust in that team?

Eric: So I love that practice. It’s not something that I’ve done, but yeah. Not foreign to setting intentions. Yeah. Or a direction for the day. Again, not something I do daily, but try to do regularly. The cards have become that in many ways, but how many times have we set an intention? Yeah. Or read the card in the morning or acknowledge something, but then we get into our day and it, I.

Do are we just forget. Yeah. So what a powerful visual. I’m a big I talk to my clients all the time and when they’re trying to establish a new pattern of behavior, if they’re trying to break from an old pattern and establish a new one we know that neural pathway in their brain for the old way is well entrenched and we’re not going erase that.

That neural pathway doesn’t go [00:36:00] away. That’s right. We have to use carve a new one. And in time. The best analogy is imagine you’re. Walking through the woods on a trail that is now well identified and well groomed versus you oh, I think there used to be a trail there. Yeah. But it’s overgrown.

When we start practicing more of the new, the old starts to feel that way and our mind tends to now gravitate more towards the new way of doing it. But it’s this, how do we reprogram the brain and how do we stay con consistent? And I will often. Talk to my clients about having a visual interrupt. Create a pattern interrupt because it doesn’t matter what your intentions or your desires are in the early stages, it does matter, but in the moments of pressure and stress, your intentions and your desires go right out the window and your habits kick in and you go back to the other.

Totally doing it the best way to. Remind yourself of your commitment, of your desire and your what you’re trying to do is to have some kind of pattern interrupt that reminds you of the decisions and the choices you’ve made, right? What a powerful way with these cards to Yeah, to use them in that manner.

A

Kate: thousand times I’m on a [00:37:00] call or it’s, I’m having a difficult conversation and I’ll look at my card and there’s so many times I just look at it and I’m like. Yeah, I got this. And then you go right back up and sometimes it’s all you need is just that cue.

Eric: Yeah. Love that. Yeah. Love that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let’s talk about folks that may have tried or had a p like they tried to do the gratitude thing or had a gratitude practice.

Yeah. And maybe it didn’t work out. Like how could they, where should they start fresh? How could they do that?

Kate: Yeah. I think I always say just. Get, I’ve said this before on the show, get aware of when you’re saying, I have to, I should, I could. I must just get present to it. Like the first time you’re just gonna be like, oh, it’s interesting.

Like just observe it, at least for now and see where that, you’re saying that a lot. Like what? And how are you feeling in your body when you say for me, that’s the first. Stab and then just replace one. Replace one. I have to statement notice it and just be like, okay, that’s interesting.

Okay. How about if I just say I get to and just do that? Even just do that. Like as [00:38:00] often as you catch yourself doing and just start there. That can be the. Simplest form that I’ve seen have big impact.

Eric: Yeah. I would add your cards for sure. Or an amazing way to freshen up a gratitude practice, whether it’s an existing one like you, you mentioned Jennifer.

Yeah. And how she has an existing practice. This is like helping go on steroids, or you’re trying to reboot it or approach it in a fresh, new way. I think the cards are really good. I would say. The other thing is just pick one thing, look for what’s good in this moment. Even if the moment’s ugly, even if it hurts.

Grant gratitude is not a journal prompt. It’s a lens and when we see it as a lens, we can put that lens on at any time and look at the same. Set of circumstances that felt like they were gonna defeat us. And we see things differently, right? Yes. Think of putting on sunglasses, you put on the dark sunglasses and all of a sudden you see every, the world differently.

Gratitude is a lens.

Kate: Yeah. But not about avoiding the pain. No. But just seeing it differently. I think that’s, I think people think it’s like this. I love that this fake [00:39:00] avoid and it’s not, it’s like we talked about the two living in parallel.

Eric (2): Yeah. 100%.

Kate: Yeah. Yeah. I, oh,

Eric: hi.

Kate: So it’s weird when, because we never sit yeah,

Eric: yeah.

Like she’s turned. Hi. Hi. I’m here. Hi. I’m not Rob. Yeah.

Wendy: I think it just comes down, although she’s putting her

Eric: hand on my knee. It’s really weird,

Wendy: wow, I got really quiet,

All: busted,

Wendy: Creating that routine. Yeah. Yeah. So for me it’s always in the morning, like evening routines are great too.

Yeah. But I think it’s about finding something that you can be consistent with. I’m a big believer in how you start your day is how you run your day. And that can really dictate. The decisions you make, the thoughts that you have. Yeah. When you’re present. And I think these are a great tool because they’re quick, they’re easy, but it really simplifies how you can tie this into your practice.

Yeah.

Rob: Love that. And I think this is, it’s an element, gratitude is an element of the entire living richly Yeah. Mindset. Set, right? If we go back to even, whether [00:40:00] it’s defining your values or creating rituals and all of these when you incorporate gratitude into the, all of that, yeah.

It, it becomes now just part of. How you live life. And so just as we said, with all of that, if you haven’t defined your values, if you haven’t created rituals, start with one thing. Start, just start small. You don’t have to change it in everything overnight. You can allow this to be, it’s a process to allow gratitude to become a part of your life.

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

Kate: And there’s no right. Way wrong way to do. Yeah. Just start incorporating. Yeah. Just start.

Eric: Yeah. Let’s as we’re talking a lot about, again, it’s not about feeling grateful so much as being grateful. And it’s not about toxic positivity that ignores Right.

The reality of what we’re facing. I actually I’m allergic to toxic positivity. I just, it’s not real, it’s fake. It’s put on what we’re talking about here is being able to do it. Be grateful even in the hard stuff. But let’s face it [00:41:00] when live days are hard, it’s harder to be grateful.

So how do you make gratitude feel more natural on those hard days? And Kate, you’ve got something you call your get to ready system.

Kate: Yeah, I use it with my clients to help on those days where it’s not, or when you’re just starting out. You can use in both ways and like inspiration from you and your acronym land, but the, I get to, it’s just taking the word, get into an acronym and it’s grounded, exhale, transform. And really what it’s meant to do is just help you, like when you hear yourself say, and I have to statement, I should, I could. Okay. Observe, pause, get grounded. Just be like, oh, interesting.

All: Yeah.

Kate: And then it’s exhale. Oh, okay. I’m curious to know what that’s about. It’s just okay, I am really present and then transform. Just say I get to Yeah. In that sentence. And then I find that for people, they’re just like, okay. Pause. Interesting. Okay. And then just reframe it. Yeah. And so I just, I find it really helps people who are maybe struggling on a tough day [00:42:00] to really get anchored into it.

Yeah. Just a simple reset. Yeah.

Wendy: Yeah. I’ve learned to get better at just meeting myself where I’m at. So some days thoughts come to me, some days they don’t. And I’ve learned to not beat myself up over those days that things just. Don’t come to me and then I just pick up, the next day or the day after that.

And kinda like what you were saying when, and that’s okay. I think we have in our head how it’s supposed to be, and that’s just a, I don’t know where, why we think that’s the way it’s supposed to be, but

Eric: they said that,

Wendy: they say but I think it just goes back to that progress, not perfection.

Rob: I like that you asked the question and you use the language. How do we make gratitude feel natural? Yeah. And my answer to that is you don’t. Be okay with sometimes gratitude isn’t, doesn’t feel natural. Like the idea that we are making gratitude anything. Yeah. Removes the ability for it to be truly genuine gratitude.

And so I would say is if it doesn’t feel natural, that doesn’t mean [00:43:00] don’t be grateful.

All: Yeah.

Rob: Just don’t force it to be something. It’s not. And I’ll go back to when Katie died, there’s no feeling of gratitude and yet I can choose. To find something in that I can be grateful for. Yeah.

All: Yeah.

Rob: It’s not natural.

No, it’s not normal. It doesn’t feel easy. No. So that’s where I take away the make. Yeah. And you’ll find natural gratitude will start to come more smoothly. Yeah.

Kate: It feels less and less weird and awkward. Yeah. The more you do

Eric: it, What’s helped for me is try is stop. Stop trying to be grateful for everything and just find one thing to be grateful for, especially on, on tough days, and let’s face it finding gratitude in those moments.

Like finding something to be grateful for. That’s like warrior level work. Yeah. Because it is a deliberate shift of your mindset to say, regardless of what I’m going through, there’s always something that I can turn to and say I’m grateful.

Kate: Yeah. And I know you’re gonna jump into that, but. It. I think like I also just wanna raise my hand and say the number of times Eric, like I hears me say something and I say a [00:44:00] statement and he’s you get to, and I’m like, and I do this all day. So like I like there is no getting this a thousand percent right. It really is like you start small and you just start weaving it. It’s not about perfection, it’s about doing a

Eric: hundred percent. Yeah. It’s the practice again, we talk,

Kate: it’s the practice. Yeah.

Eric: Practice. Makes progress, right?

The more we practice something, the more natural it becomes. And it may at first be very difficult to do it on hard days. So practice it on days where it’s easier and the more you do it there and you’re gonna, you’re gonna build the muscle. You

Kate: build

Eric: the

Kate: muscle,

Eric: you’re gonna literally build the muscle over time and it’s a game changer.

We’re gonna do something now. We we had pre-picked cards that we already talked about. Yeah. What we’re gonna do now is we’re gonna get, pick a card. Any card, pick a card, any card. So I’m gonna hold them, everyone. Take just one. Do you shuffle them? I it doesn’t really matter. It doesn’t really matter, but I,

Wendy: Oh my gosh.

I’m trying There just one I can, no, you need to turn it around. Okay.

Eric: This. Okay. And we’re just gonna react to these in real time. Oh my God’s. Really, we’re just, I’m just [00:45:00] grateful it’s taking so long for Wendy to pick a fucking card.

Wendy: So glad I get to sit beside her.

Eric: This is good. Okay. Alright. Alright. Who’s gonna go first?

Rob: I’m gonna go first. Okay. And, my card says I get to accept responsibility for my choices. Oh. And what’s interesting is as soon as I pulled this out, I

Eric: you thought of becoming my friend, you have to accept that responsibility for that choice.

Is that what you No, that’s

Rob: my

Wendy: card.

Rob: Oh. That I believe how I. Said it is. I have to fucking accept responsibility. Oh, it came out? Yeah. Okay. No. Actually what I thought of when I saw this was my mom and the notion of, again, there are victims and there are overcomers the language that she would use with me when I was a child and the idea that when I think I, I get to accept responsibility for my choices.

I have control. Both over my choices and the outcome of the what, what [00:46:00] happens as a result. And I get to accept that responsibility. So that’s a thought that comes to mind right now. Okay.

Kate: I love that. Okay. We’ll go in order, I guess on how we pick. I don’t have my glasses. This was a bad call. Okay.

I’m gonna be way over here. I get here, I get to, I can, here, I’m gonna hold. Are you? I can read it. I can just don’t move it. I get to offer a helping hand when someone needs it.

Eric: Oh, you were trying to offer a helping hand? Yeah, I was trying to offer a helping hand. You wouldn’t let me.

Kate: No, I wouldn’t. But this is a great card for me.

It’s a reminder I’m pretty programmed to be kind. But this is a reminder that when someone is in need, maybe to be a. Have a little bit more empathy or to go a little bit further, I think that’s what this would prompt me in my day.

Eric: Yeah. Yeah. I love that. I love that. I picked, I get to release any lingering negativity.

And it’s just a good reminder that no matter how much you practice this stuff, there’s always room for growth. And we go through life, we go through stuff and we pick up residue. There’s buildup, right? And, we’re not all I haven’t learned yet how to just fully release everything as it [00:47:00] happens.

I’m not even sure if that’s the goal. But that I get to, as I’ve get present to lingering negativity or resentment or bitterness about some event that’s happened in my past, or, whether that’s recently or a long time ago. I get to choose in those moments to let go. And I remember actually what’s coming to mind now is you ever have those moments where you’re just mining your own business, going through life, and then you’re reminded of a, an inter, like a, an interaction with someone that was really negative?

Yeah. Or somebody who like. Offended you or hurt you, whatever, and you get all weird about it. I remember the shift that came, and this was probably about a year and a half ago, that when those moments happen to me now, and again, not perfectly, but more often than not it’s an op I’m like, oh, I get.

I get to let go. I get to in this moment. Love that. Thank you universe for that reminder that I’m still carrying some stuff and in this moment I’m gonna release whatever I can. I’m gonna, so we get to make those choices. Yeah. I love that. In, in those moments like powerful card. Yeah.

Wendy: [00:48:00] Great card. Mine is very similar to yours. I get to let go of negative thoughts. Oh. So what such

Eric (2): a good card

Wendy: Yeah. I, what comes to me? So similar to yours. What comes to me is learning to give myself grace. Rob tells me often even when I’m, going through therapy, it’s.

Reminding myself that I don’t need to think about all of the bad things or the things that I should have done, could have done, would’ve done, but I. I can choose to let that go and I get to choose to give myself some grace so that those negative thoughts don’t

Eric: creep in.

Kate: Ah, I love that.

Eric: Absolutely love it. Guys. This has been a fantastic conversation and on behalf of everyone who’s been impacted by Get Two Mindset and your gratitude cards, thank you for bringing them into the worlds.

Kate: Thanks for today.

Eric: I I just know that they’re making such a difference in so many people’s lives and Will for a very long time.

So thank you for. Everybody, anybody can have an idea, but bringing it to life. And [00:49:00] I know the hard work you’ve put into doing that, so I just celebrate you all day long. Thank you.

Kate: Thanks guys. Thanks guys for this

Eric: conversation. Very cool. And thank you nation for tuning in today. We hope you found this conversation powerful.

I know I have, I’ve learned so much. And we’ve been reminded today that gratitude is not a one time action. It’s a practice and we get to, it’s a mindset and we get to practice that together. We are gonna encourage you to visit the get to mindset get to mindset.com. Sorry, I just was struggling there to get the website.

That website will be on your screen and it’ll be in the show notes where you can actually learn more. You’ve got a free course that people could take. A paid, yeah. Yeah, and

Kate: I’m also gonna offer up a 20% discount for a Living Richly nation. So just use fantastic coupon code Living richly 20. Yep.

Eric: And that’ll also be on the screen in the show notes.

It’ll be on the

Kate: screen. And for those listening, just go to get to mindset.com. And that’s get with the number two mindset.com.

Eric: Amazing. Amazing. Get your set of cards and tell you what. Share the love. Buy a second set and give it away. And for those of you that are part of the Living Richly Nation, [00:50:00] I’m gonna encourage you, if you’ve been touched by Get to Mindset or you’ve been impacted by the cards, go into the Facebook group right now after listening to this episode and share the story, gratitude can change your life. Thanks for tuning in, and until next time, keep living your best life.

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