The Wake-Up Call Every High-Achieving Man Needs

The Wake-Up Call Every High-Achieving Man Needs

Rob: the notion of the midlife crisis, of course, we always refer to it, it’s a crisis that means bad. It’s negative. And in fact, what it really is for most men is it’s a, it’s an awakening to everything that’s happened to this point, has not brought the result that they were

Eric: truly looking for. The social conditioning for men is.

We don’t talk about our stuff, right? We just we just bear down and get through. We just rub some dirt on it and keep

Rob: going. It is time for us to have the conversation around what it is to be masculine in a

Eric: mindful way. The foundry began to emerge, which is a community for men specifically for.

Them to come together in, in a truly a band of brothers.

Rob: Hey, and welcome to Living Richly, and I want to speak right away to all of the guys that are listening in. If you are a guy who is sick and tired of playing it safe. And you are ready to live fully love fully, experience fully. Or ladies, I don’t want to ignore you. If you know a guy who is thinking or feeling that way, then this is the episode for them.

Yes, it’s, I am so frigging pumped to get a chance to talk to you about something that’s been just boiling up and just been percolating and working through and ready to launch and ready to go. And that’s this thing called the. Foundry. Yeah. So gimme a high level. Just summarize it right out of the gate and then we’re gonna dive in it a little bit deeper with it.

Eric: Yeah, I’ve, I’m coming into this episode both pumped and probably more nervous than I was when I shared my story back in episode three, which is like 110 episodes ago. Because the Foundry is a community that I’ve launched, really that is all for men. It’s is designed to serve men, support men, but primarily men in business entrepreneurs, founders, business leaders, 40 plus who have been successful on paper, but perhaps feel that.

Other areas of their lives have been neglected. Maybe their marriage isn’t what they think it should be or want it to be. Maybe their relationship with their kids isn’t where they want it to be. Maybe there’s a sense of dis-ease within them that after all this success and everything that they’ve done, I.

There’s still something missing. And so really excited to be talking about this today and nervous as hell.

Rob: It’s gonna, it’s gonna be awesome. So again, seriously if ladies, if you’re listening, hit pause. Go grab that guy. Get him over there to sit in front of the tv. If you’re watching this on YouTube or listen to this it is gonna be, I think, really an epic, epic e episode.

Epic episode. I like that epic episode. Try say that, right? But let’s rewind before we dive into. What the foundry is because you really have, one and one of the things that I love about you and have always appreciated about you, you are a creative on steroids. You love to create.

You’re the, you really are the creation behind this podcast, living richly, the whole living richly movement was something that was birthed outta you. You mentioned even going back to episode three, where you tell your story what’s, connect the dots for me. Yeah. Take me on the journey of the progression of your awakening.

To now the foundry.

Eric: I think yeah, it’s been a journey, man, like a real journey. 2022. Of course, I tell this story that was in the spring of that year that I experienced what I would call nothing short of an awakening. It’s like I was going through some tough stuff and some really rough things in life, and a lot of the work that I had been doing and the support that I was getting, I’ve described it before.

It’s like it landed, and all of a sudden this this passion for really defining for myself what living a rich life means. And we were having those conversations together and and that would eventually would lead to the launch of the podcast. Yeah. That December, right? So about nine months later, the podcast launched and then about a year ago, and that was amazing.

Helping people again, get clear about who they are, what they stand for help. Find for themselves what success and a great life looks like and start building it intentionally. And so I was so passionate about that and it’s really been a group effort and it’s amazing to see how that’s evolved.

Not long ago. Celebrated our hundredth episode, right? It’s incredible. It’s crazy. And this is like one 13, so we’re going strong. Then about a year ago, you and I launched the first recorded the first of episodes geared specifically for men. We call them mindful masculinity. They’re on the YouTube channel.

You can go there. Lots of great episodes there. And it really sparked something in me in terms of a passion to help men specifically that I feel that have, a more difficult time opening up, have a more difficult time talking about their challenges and tend to feel very isolated and alone, even if they’re surrounded by bros.

Oftentimes they don’t have the kind of support they need and are struggling in silence and not having a safe place to talk about it. So fast forward even more. That was about the same time that the life vision challenge first emerged right about a year ago. And then late last fall something else began to stir in me.

And every time we recorded one of these shows for men, I. I get so passionate, so pumped about it, felt so, so like on point, doing it. And a series of conversations. Lots of thinking, lots of dreaming. And the foundry began to emerge, which is a community for men, specifically for them to come together in, in a truly a band of brothers supporting one another in business and in life.

A safe place where they can stop. Pretending and start rebuilding their lives.

Rob: And we saw, even from the launch of mindful masculinity, we saw a mixed response from people. We saw some, sure did. We saw some that were like, I need this. I, and I’ve seen some communities of men that have started to kind of form some as a direct result of mindful masculinity.

Others that may be just in coincidence, but that have been impacted. We recognize that knee was there. And then there are some others that certainly came out and were like we’re. We’re part of the problem, right? We’re weakening the whole concept of men. And one of the things that I know about you, probably better than any other guy I think Kate would know you obviously better than I do, but certainly after Kate, the relationship that we have going back so long is that I know one thing about you is that you’re not a weak, soft guy.

You are. But you are you’re a courageous, strong individual who is also. Recognizing the importance of expressing emotion and being vulnerable doing all of this. And so in the midst of when those were arguing and making those points I think that you coming out of that and being able to say, no, it is time for us to have the conversation around what it is to be masculine in a mindful way.

Eric: Yeah. And create an environment where it’s safe for men to not be okay and not have to pretend. We’ve talked about this before. The average conversation among men our age and even younger and older, on both sides of our current sort of situation in life is that this, the conversation never, often doesn’t go much deeper than babes, booze, blood, sports, and business, right?

And nothing wrong with that but you can be surrounded by bros and never truly experience brotherhood, never truly experience what it means to be part of a vibrant community of men who are being vulnerable, being honest with one another, holding each other accountable, speaking the truth in love.

Calling each other on their bullshit and being a safe place to, to talk about struggles and challenges that we’re facing without feeling like we’re failures or that we’re weak. The reality is we don’t do this well naturally as men,

and the statistics are showing it our silence. Is killing us. Yeah.

The rate of heart disease, the rate of high blood pressure, the rate of depression, the rate of suicide. Three out of four men in, or three outta four suicides in Canada are men over 50. It’s a disturbing statistic we don’t talk about enough. And I still remember the moment in Kate’s kitchen where one morning I had gotten up early and.

Out of me flowed this stuff called the Foundry. And I shared it with her later. I’m always up before she is, so I’d already been up for two to three hours at this point. And she could see in my eyes something was different that morning and she asked me what was going on. I told her about it.

And then I, we’re talking about the problem and how men are hurting needlessly. And I said, I. I think I’m called to help save a few of them. Yeah. And when I say that, I don’t mean that I’m gonna save them. And I don’t certainly wanna sound like as I’m talking about this and I share it with other men, that somehow I’ve got all the answers and no, I don’t actually, I’m still figuring this out myself.

In many ways, I’m probably the worst candidate for the job, right? Divorced twice burnt out three times now, accomplished in business and done all kinds of things, but experienced a lot of. Tribulation. A lot of turmoil along the way. A lot of pain. Yet I find it actually positions me to be maybe a great spokesperson to gather together a great community of smart, courageous and yet very alone men who are feeling that they need something more than what they’ve got.

And creating a space for that happen.

Rob: It’s like the commercial where the guy who says I, not only do I use the product, I bought the company. It’s not only did you found the foundry didn’t, not only did you start the foundry, but you’re an actual buyer of the product. You recognize your own journey as a testament to not only what is, what goes wrong when we aren’t willing to face and to acknowledge the depth of what it means to be a man.

But also you have the ability to lead others because your willingness to go first.

Eric: It’s interesting when you think about how all this is unfolding. One of the things I hear from a lot of men, I’m sure you do as well, a lot of our clients, right? I’m hearing this more and more.

Many of these are very successful entrepreneurs. Multimillionaires in some cases have done very well in business, and yet they’re sensing this dis-ease inside, right? This. This, something’s not right. And again I listed some of the things that might have gone, maybe their marriage is not going the way that it maybe they’re going through a breakdown of their marital relationship, maybe their relationship.

These are guys that can close deals but struggle sometimes to connect with their kids. Maybe they’re working too much, spending too much time at the shop and not enough time at home. And that’s caught. Maybe they’re neglecting their health, whether that be mental or physical or emotional health.

Maybe they’re just they sense that. They’re bored. They’ve accomplished great things. They’ve checked all the boxes, and yet they’ve gotten to the end now and they’re going, is this it? I thought I was supposed to feel differently when I did all the things I thought I was supposed to feel, like I achieved something and yet I’m still feeling hollow inside.

There’s some parts of me that just don’t feel right.

Rob: You shared a you shared a story with me a little while ago about a, something, a client, an illustration a client gave to you. And I think it fits so well here. So many men are scrolling through life and they’re not double clicking.

They’re not double clicking. They’re not willing to go deep. They’re willing to go shallow with so much and in a way that ties into this idea that on paper. A lot of men look so successful. They look like they’ve got it all together, but as soon as you start to go a little bit deeper, as soon as you double click.

It’s a lot below the surface.

Eric: And I think of part of this too, like I, I watched it unfold when we launched the living Richley Nation face Facebook group. And it’s grown tremendously. About a thousand people now that are part of the group and including a ton of men.

But what I noticed and we’ve seen this, is the pattern of men posting, responding, saying anything in that group. Is really low. Yeah. They’re really the exception to the rule, and I’m grateful for the men that have the courage to say what’s so for them in that kind of community. In mixed company, men often won’t open up.

They won’t talk about their challenges and there’s all kinds of social conditioning there. There’s all kinds of family of origin stuff going on. But the social conditioning for men is, we don’t talk about our stuff. We just we just. Bear down and get through, right? We just rub some dirt on it and keep going.

We’re not supposed to not be okay. We’ve gotta be the protector and the provider and the warrior and all these things. And we’re like, yeah, but who protects us? And who holds us up when we need that? And again one of the things I hear so much is how lonely men are and how difficult it can be even as a successful.

Business person lonely in terms of having real relationships, real friendships, that, that are, that go deep, that do double click and go beyond the surface of some of those surface conversations. Hey, listen, you can have tailgate parties all day long and there, those are a ton of fun. But it’s not a tailgate party that you’re likely gonna say, Hey man, my marriage is falling apart.

I think I’m depressed, or I think something’s missing in my life. We don’t have those conversations. And again, the statistics that I named are evidence of the problem at hand.

Rob: And you said we, they’re not likely. They’re not have, they’re not having most of the time conversations in those place.

And to your point, Kate and Wendy do a great job with their, the focus on women and the episodes that they, women real talk and there’s, they get a lot of response. They have a lot of people that will reach out and share. I think for men, they building a community where they’re gonna test it at first.

And part of how you’re designing the foundry is to be a place where they can come and feel safe. It’s not like on the very first the entry point to becoming part of the foundry. Bear your soul. It spare your soul. It’s. Hey, sit back and just watch. Yeah. Sit back and observe because and because that’s what men need to do, to your point, whether it’s in any environment, it takes time for them to build up that trust.

The epidemic is there. We saw it recently, here in Ottawa there was a an individual there was a suicide. People react so much in the moment, and then after a few days, maybe a few weeks, maybe a few months, they go back to the guys, go back to the old bravado. Okay. I got my armor back on.

I’m back solid again. And I don’t want to feel Yeah. Until the next crisis that happens.

Eric: Yeah, absolutely. Again, it’s we go back to what we’re familiar with. Oh

Rob: yeah.

Eric: And with the foundry, we envision creating just a safe environment where men can. Men again, that fit that sort of description.

Successful businessmen who are or something is missing in their life and they’re looking for something more, they’re looking for a community to belong to. They’re looking to open up. How many times Rob have business owners sat across the table from us? And they might never in a group environment open up and say the things that they do, but in our coaching conversations will tell us things.

That, that often and often they’ll tell us things with the following caveat. I have never told another soul. What I’m about to tell you. And that’s a problem. Yeah, that’s a problem. We need to create safe places. So to your point the foundry is ultimately for men who are ready to do the work, that are ready to perhaps loosen their grip on image management.

Yeah. And the propping up of personas that are not actually who they really are. And they may be even exhausted of propping up. That old version of themselves, but that now that they’ve propped it up for so long, people around them applaud it and expect it, and they feel trapped in a life of their own making, but they’re wanting to change.

Yeah. It’s ultimately for people that are willing to do that kind of work and have those kinds of conversations. But that would be like thinking concentric circles. Yeah. This is like near the bullseye. Okay. Yeah. On the outer parts of that will be simply resources and tools in a community where men can even just check it out.

They can just hang out for a while. In the same way, very similar to the Living Richley Nation, where people can hang out, never ever say anything, ever comment or anything, but they’re listening, they’re paying attention and they’re being influenced that way.

Rob: I love that. It’s so cri critical and so important and so necessary.

Where are some when we talk about men abandoning themselves? And in the name of success, in the name of, I’m just gonna provide for my family, so I’m gonna work 800 hours a week. Where are some of the main areas that you see that men, that this really shows up in the struggle?

Eric: I would say, there’s all the usual suspects, right? Family takes a hit, right? Yeah. It’s interesting, they, they do this, we do this for our families, and yet our families pay the ultimate price. Yeah. So it’s a really fucked up way of looking at. The world to think that I am sacrificing time with them to build this empire over here.

And I’m actually not spending the kind of time or have the kind of relationship with my family that I would want to have. So it’s a really weird way to live our lives. And again, the foundry’s not about abandoning to me. It’s about you can actually build your empire.

Do it man. Build something you can be proud of. Entrepreneurs, founders, business leaders, they’re, you’re wired differently than the average. Person. You’re wired to create, you’re wired to make something out of nothing, and it’s part of who you are. And so we’re not we wanna encourage that as a matter of fact, part of the foundries to provide support for that.

But it’s what about the parts of your life that have been neglected, that you’ve not invested sufficiently in? Your family, your health your own sense of self, right? And building not just a great business, but building a great life. You can man you know enough with the spreadsheets you need to do more for your soul, is what I would say to some of the men listening right now.

What’s the, it’s about reclaiming your fire. It’s about reclaiming your purpose. It’s about rebuilding your life. And investing maybe for the first time, or perhaps reinvesting areas of your life that you just let slip. Yeah. In the per pursuit of success. So it’s about having a more integrated life.

It’s not about one or the other, it’s about both. And what does that look like for you?

Rob: And I think that’s so important at a client that I was talking to last week and actually brought up. The foundry and I think that they would be a great person to explore that. But they made the comment about I, here’s my C cha here, my, my struggle when you talk, ’cause in our conversations, when I bring up to him about time with his family and spending time, he goes, every time I think about that, I think, oh, now my business is gonna struggle.

My business is gonna fail. I have to keep the gas on. I have to keep the, the foot on the pedal, all of this. And I love what you’re saying is no, it doesn’t have to be one, one or the other. It’s not. Either have all this invest, go all out with your business or go all out with your family.

You can actually go all out

Eric: with everything without Absolutely and I think part of it too is exposing some of the bullshit lies that we tell ourselves about. I’ll do it someday. When I achieve x, that’s when I’ll make these changes. We were just talking between shows about the importance of not deferring to the future.

The things that really matter to you because you’re not guaranteed that future listen, post 40 as soon as you get into your forties, mid forties, you’ll have lived more. Then you have time left, right? You will have lived more days than you have days remaining. And there’s a book that, one of my clients, we had this big conversation.

I’ve not read it but somewhere in the title, I think it’s 4,000 weeks. And 4,000 weeks is basically a lifetime or if I recall the math right, 4,000 weeks. Yeah, that makes sense. And yet the reality is that most people, they just kinda live the same week. Over and over and over again, and call that a life, right?

Here is the opportunity. When you are at this stage of life, you’ve achieved some success, and yet there’s parts of your life that are not on point. Now’s the time to begin addressing that so you can live a full life so that you can hold your head up high, that you’ve built this great empire that provides for your family and provides for your employees, and that.

Makes a difference in the marketplace without hanging your head because these other parts of your life are just underdeveloped or have been literally neglected or perhaps never even invested in. There is a place, if we can stop telling ourselves our lies. If we can embrace the truth that yes, we can have both, we can have an integrated life, and that may mean a redefining.

Of what success means. We’re gonna be talking about the fear of success in a future show, right? And I know the main point I wanna make on that show is the part of it is you gotta define what success means for you and not just inherent the society’s definition, especially. The man version of that definition that it can be different.

You can define it for yourself.

Rob: It’s interesting when we think about, ’cause you’re talking about men in their forties and older which is classically what we call the midlife crisis. And we use the language, and I just heard this recently and I don’t even remember where the notion of the midlife crisis, of course we always refer to it.

It’s a crisis that means bad. It’s negative. And in fact, what it really is for most men is it’s a, it’s an awakening to everything. That’s happened to this point, has not brought the result that they were truly looking for, and now they’re ready to make the change, make the shift, end, the relationships, whatever it is, in order to finally say, I can’t let the last part of life.

Be like the first part of life.

Eric: Yeah. Instead of a cross a, a crisis. What if we saw it as a crossroads? Oh, I love that language. It’s an opportunity to start making different choices and the statistics show us like those who go through that, what has been termed the midlife crisis will often make.

Poor choices, right? In an attempt to appease the beast or satisfy the inner longing for more that they’re experiencing. And it’s unfortunate that often that will be substance abuse. It might be extramarital affairs, it might be the breakdown of the family unit. It might be like trying to relive their twenties and thirties and and so we’re reaching for outside of ourselves.

To satisfy a need that can only be satisfied by, again, defining, getting clear on who you are, getting clear on what you stand for, getting clear on what your values are and what a meaningful, impactful life looks like for you. When you begin to get clear on that, and you have other brothers supporting you, other brothers cheering you on, other brothers calling you out on your BS, when you get off track and you’re believing all the lies that you’ve believed before and in love, but in tough love.

Your brothers say, Hey, man. Wake up, snap out of it. You’re doing it again. In a safe environment, non-judgmental. That’s in many ways Rob. I am seeking to build a community that I’ve always longed for. It’s tough when you’re in business, you’re successful, you got a family, you got all this.

A lot of men end up very lonely. And I’ve said, I already said it earlier. And finding friends, good friends that you can go beyond the. Babes boobs, blood, sports, and business conversations with those are really hard to find, right? So creating a space where you can connect with other like-minded people like that, and again, engage with it at a level that you are ready to and not feel pushed or prodded, but have a forum where you can be exposed to what it looks like to stop pretending to stop feeling like you need to have your armor on all the time to stop.

Pro propping up this false persona, this false image of yourself, this public self that you’re probably exhausted. Just trying to keep that image of yourself propped up, like just to actually start showing up as your true self.

Rob: One of my favorite books I absolutely in my top three. All time favorite books.

And I’ve just finished reread reading it again, is the Book Chasing Daylight? Great book. And the author and what’s so powerful about it here was a guy one of the most, like he was the CEO of KPMG. This guy was in incred. And when you read the book and he tells some of the stories of the way that he worked, success there, he has 35 year marriage, all of this.

But it took him getting this diagnosis of you’ve got literally three months to live before he began to really make that shift. And double click, right? And to start to look at the deeper the deeper value. How much more how much better would it be for somebody who is still somewhat in their prime?

They’re going, they’re ready. They’re already got all those questions. They’re already nagging. They’re already struggling to at that point say, okay, I’m gonna do this while I still have 2000 weeks left, or a thousand weeks left versus. 30

Eric: days. It’s never too late to make a change. It’s never too late to reinvent yourself.

But it takes a courageous decision to say, I’m not gonna keep living this way anymore. This just isn’t working for me. I think, so many of us are used to playing the highlight reels but there’s not enough behind the scenes footage. We’re not. Talking about that stuff enough where per perhaps you’re you’re feeling numb a little bit in areas of your life, you’re feeling again dissatisfied, you’re feeling uneasy.

If any of this language is resonating with you, then chances are you, this might be a good place for you to check out. It might be a good thing for you. Because again, I think there’s so much potential that’s being left on the table because we’re not having the right conversations.

Rob: Now, I know there’s some guys listening that think you don’t know what I’m really thinking.

They’ve got conversations going on in their head and they’re like, ah you don’t, you can’t relate to what I’m going through. What are some of the conversations that they’re having in their head right now?

Eric: Yeah. One is I’m not worthy. I don’t deserve it. If people only knew what goes on inside my head they’d be shocked.

I can’t possibly let my guard down and let people know I need to be strong for the people in my life, right? I feel deathly alone. Would be another. There’s so many, Rob, these, yeah. These are messages that we speak to ourselves all the time that we feel, but we often don’t articulate. And here’s the deal.

Shame which keeps silence. Shame leads to silence. When we feel shame, we typically withdraw and we don’t talk about that issue where we feel shame. Shame. Its power is based in the belief that you are the only one, that everyone else is different. And somehow you’re the flawed exception to the rule.

When somebody opens up, when men especially begin to open up, and women, this is true on both sides. But when someone goes first and says, here’s my challenges, here’s what I’ve been feeling, here’s what I’m struggling with, the universal response. Is not, oh my God, you’re a failure. You’re a piece of shit.

That’s not the universal response. The universal response usually is You too. I thought I was the only one. And someone else finally gives a. A voice or gives language to what you’ve been experiencing and maybe unable to share. So whether it’s loneliness, whether it’s lacking a sense of purpose, maybe you’ve lost your fire.

If relationships are out of whack, all of this stuff can be changed. Think of the energy that you’ve put into building your business. If you’re listening to this right now and you’re going, I don’t know if I can change this shit, listen. You have changed a lot of things. You have a track record of doing hard things.

You don’t go into business ownership or entrepreneurship because it’s easy, you do it ’cause you’re willing to take risks and you’re willing to build something out of nothing. I would say maybe you’re just lacking a bit of support, you’re lacking a bit of direction and maybe you just didn’t learn certain skills along the way to help you do.

Those those things better that you’re that you’re not happy about? If you got into a community, whether it’s this one or something else, my ad admonition, like if anyone is listening is you gotta break the silence. The silence will ultimately kill you or it will rob you of your potential. And you may be smiling on the outside, but dying on the inside.

It doesn’t have to be that

Rob: way. No. And what would you say to the person, the, to the guy who’s hearing this? And there’s a poll. They’re like, oh my God, this is what I want. But then they go, yeah, but Eric, I tried that once. Yeah. And I raised my hand to a group of guys and I got punched down.

Yeah. Like I got knocked down as a result. How do I know that this is gonna be different?

Eric: There’s really, I don’t know what I can say to someone who’s experienced that other than I’ve been there. Yeah. And I’ve experienced betrayal. I’ve experienced opening up to other men before and it didn’t turn out back, even in my church days, Rob, like I had connected with other church leaders from other brands, different brands, competitors, we could say yes.

And had formed really close friendships with. A handful of them. And we were having these kinds of conversations and when I left that world, those relationships immediately dissolved and the silence was deafening and that was hard as fuck to go through. All of us have experienced that. In some measure.

And what I would say to you is there are no guarantees that it won’t happen again. Certainly our goal with the foundry would be to create a safe space. To create a safe environment. But again, we can’t guarantee that folks won’t get hurt in the process. That’s not our goal. But humans in any kind of interaction together will do stupid shit sometimes.

What I would say to you is even that is part of the growth, even that is part of learning and. You gotta stop using that as an excuse to, to try to do this thing called life on your own, flying solo. It’s not an excuse even if you’ve been hurt. I’ve heard this said before and I often remind myself of it.

My deepest wounds happened in relationship. My deepest healing happened in relationship and can happen in relationship.

Rob: That is so good. I love that. The language around that. I would say one of the. The reasons why the foundry can be a safe place for people to come in is because as the leader, you’re going first, that you are already being, you’re, you are leading the way with vulnerability.

So as they come in, they don’t have to be the first one to raise their hand. They can be the second or the third person, right? But so they’re able to come into a place that has already been designed to allow for that. And it’s because of your own past hurts because of your own past betrayals, as you said, both of us have experienced that.

I remember you saying to me one time, I don’t know if this is a Eric phrase or it comes out of a book or Harvard Business Journal, review. Never trust a leader who doesn’t limp.

Eric: Yeah. That was me. Yeah. Yeah.

Rob: And I’ve never forgotten that. And I’ve embraced that now, whereas in the past, as a guy who’s I’m 57 I was somebody who would always be, I need to show the best.

I need to show how strong I am and how, look at how I’ve got it all together. And I remember when you first shared that with me, the notion of actually leaning in and recognizing, here’s all the things I’ve gone through, the str, the, here’s the limps. That I have, they’re not stopping me from moving.

I’m gonna move even though I’m limping as I move. And some days I’m crawling ’cause I can’t even stand up and other days I’m running and other days we’re running and Right. But I think creating a community where leadership is willing to say. I’m here, I’m wounded. It gives the opportunity to, to your point, can never be guaranteed, but at least opens up the opportunity.

Eric: Absolutely. And it’s again, it’s not about dishing out advice. It’s not about feeling like you’re the subject matter expert. It’s, I see myself more as a facilitator, a gatherer. I’m having some great conversations with a number of great leaders here locally that have expressed interest and are really resonating with the message they’re saying.

This sounds like what I’ve been looking for. I didn’t even know I was looking for it. I know I was looking for something and this is resonating with me all over the map. And these are very successful in many cases, very successful men very successful leaders. It’s more about, again, coming together and learning from each other and supporting each other and creating a safe place.

Imagine having a place, maybe the only place in your life, at least at this stage, where you can put the fucking mask. Down and just be you. Stop pretending. Stop posturing. Stop. Like having to prop yourself up or this false image of yourself up and just get around a bunch of other guys on a similar journey, similar path, who are embracing what it means to be a man, embracing what it means to be successful.

However one defines. That, but also willing to recognize that there are some demons that need to be, like some dragons that need to be slain, some demons that need to be faced some areas of our lives that either need to be rebuilt or maybe built for the first fucking time. Imagine having a place like that.

That’s what we envision this becoming.

Rob: So why are you so fucking scared in launching this? You and I say that in a way that. You talked about even how episode three, sharing your story went way back a hundred episodes ago. You know that I remember you just shaking as you got ready for that episode.

And I know you and I have talked about this over even the last few days and the last nu number of weeks that it, you are so excited and passionate and yet terrified.

Eric: That I have to bleed out loud again.

Rob: Yeah,

Eric: And go first. I think there’s there probably could have been a million candidates better suited for the job.

I don’t come with this with bravado or ego. I come at it with a heart to serve. I. Support and share what I’ve learned along the way. And if that can help even just a few men be spared the loneliness and the dissatisfaction and the hollow feeling in their gut, or the hollow feeling in their soul, then then it’s all worth it.

I remembered after I had the conversation with Kate where I said I really feel like I’m called to save a few and I’ve defined what I mean by that. I’m not gonna save anybody, but create. Create something where this is gonna help change some men’s trajectory pretty significantly.

I believe that deep in my heart and I recalled a memory I haven’t had, I didn’t, hadn’t recalled, and then there was no reason for me to recall it other than maybe the nerve the universe nudging my memory banks and saying, Hey, let’s bring this old memory from the subconscious up. To Eric’s conscious mind as maybe a bit of a confirmation.

Years ago, I was involved in a leadership development program called Arrow, and it was for leaders. Under 30, I was under 30. I was just about to turn 30 when I completed the two year program. And part of the exercise at one point was a public speaking exercise. This was back in my church day, so it was a preaching exercise.

And with all of our peers that were in that program, we had been asked to prepare like a five minute talk and we would give it deliver it in front of our peers and then receive feedback. And dude it’s one thing to speak in front of a congregation or a group of people, but to speak in front of another room, a room full of other very.

Qualified and gifted public speakers who were there, that was very intimidating. I remember that being very intimidating. And the guy that was hosting the class was actually a a leader a significant leader in the Billy Graham Association back in the day. Remember this back from my church days?

Yeah. A very gifted speaker himself, part of why he was hosting this seminar. And I remember he said something to me at the end of that, people gave me some feedback. I got some great feedback, a couple things I could do to improve. And I was super nervous. And he looked at me, he said, Eric, he said, with that big voice in those broad shoulders, he says, I see you speaking to thousands of men and making a difference in their lives.

I didn’t remember that, Rob. I filed that away. Yeah. That was now 25 years ago. Wow. And I feel like I’m stepping into a new season of purpose. I’ve said it before. This is the next act for me. This is the next chapter. This is where my energy is going to be focused. Of course, my work with Rhapsody will continue my work with Larry Richley will continue.

But there’s gonna be a focusing like from floodlight to laser beam. Yeah. Because I feel, given what I’ve experienced, given my story and what I’ve learned along the way, i’m that leader who limps, who can help other limping leaders find their way and they in many ways will help me find mine.

That together we can support each other and again, create that soft place to land where men can finally. Finally stop pretending, find their true voice and find their true selves and start building that just like they’ve built their successful businesses.

Rob: Oh, I love it.

Eric: I,

Rob: Listen a few minutes ago you started to get emotional as we talked about that.

And in my head, as you’re talking, I’m thinking that’s why you are the one. To lead this because of that emotion. But you have been literally impacting people’s lives since you were like 16 years old. You have been involved in some way, shape, or form. Yeah. You have all through literally your entire adult life and some of your teenage life you have been involved in impacting leaders, impacting people.

Why does this feel so different for you?

Eric: It feels like it in many ways, very natural, like a natural evolution of my journey. I. I think for me, purpose, I, because of being in those roles from an early age, pushed to the front of the room from an early age to lead I don’t know if it was my smile or my energy, but I often got just pushed to the front of the room long before I was ready.

And I’ve told the story how purpose for me became in many ways an escape. It, it became an escape. It became even. A bit of a drug where the joy of serving, the joy of helping people helped to medicate against the deep self-loathing and the inner demons and dragons that I was having a hard time slaying, felt more about lot times they were slaying me.

But I hid. In purpose, I hid in service. It’s different this time. This is ever since that awakening in 2022, a lot more healing work and that healing work will continue till the day I however many days the universe has lined up for me. Healing will continue and growth will continue. But it just feels like this is that next step of evolution to say this is what I’ve been created for. This is why I am here, and at this time I’m not running, I’m not numbing, I’m not self-medicating, I’m not hiding in purpose. Purpose is actually being expressed out of that healing journey that I’ve been on.

And again I’m hoping that I can pass some of those lessons on. Just like other men that I connect with and are con, I’m connecting with now, are passing on their learned wisdom in the trenches. And often that wisdom learned in the trenches. There’s a lot of pain involved.

Rob: You it, this is about impacting the soul, right?

This is about, this is soul work. This is deep work. Yeah. Okay. We’re business coaches. We’re leadership coaches. But we’re business coaches and when we work with a business a business owner, a business leadership team and we’re helping them, one of the things that we help them do is define. So who’s your product for?

Yeah. Who is it that you are trying to, who’s your client, who’s the founder? If you had to describe the Foundry’s ideal. Person,

Eric: founder’s ideal per again, it’s that successful business leader. And I get at first part of me says I want to help all men. Yeah. And I think we will be able to help a broader audience of men through the podcast and through se through materials that we make available.

But. At 54 years of age, I have lived far more, many years than I have left. Yeah. And I can’t, I know very, I’m very aware that I can’t help everybody. Focusing the foundry is for business leaders, entrepreneurs successful business leaders. You’re probably 40 plus unless you, like me, got started on that leadership journey really early.

So maybe you’re hitting some of those challenges sooner. Then so I, it’s not an age thing so much, but typically it’s gonna be probably 40 plus. And again, you’re, you’ve been successful, you’ve achieved many of the things that you set out to do, but there are just parts of your life that feel broken or neglected or underdeveloped and you are ready to do something about it.

And. You may not be able to take ready to take an active step, but you’re in that place of contemplation. Listen, if you’re not if you’re living it up and you’re good and you don’t you don’t feel like you need any of this, then you’re the foundry’s not for you, right? Yeah, but I want the imagery of a foundry.

What’s a foundry? It’s a place where metal is made in remade. This is gonna be a community where Rob, you’re both the hammer, the anvil, and the fire all coming together to rebuild again your life through the fire of relationships and the fire of passion and the fire of brotherhood to purge maybe some of the things that haven’t served you well, and embrace some new things that perhaps you’ve never considered.

And again, rebuild and redefine yourself. To start living a life that you can be as proud of your life as you are about your business, every aspect of it. And that doesn’t mean you’re living perfectly, but you are living well. You are loving well. You are being and

Rob: you are serving well. I love that.

And I was about to go right there. The other thing that’s going through my mind right now is, you’ve made reference to it a couple of times is you’ve you’ve called it a band of brothers. And of course we’re familiar. There’s, the where that reference comes. From. Yeah. But describe for me when you use the language of Band of Brothers, how, what does that look like in the context of the Foundry?

Eric: I’m not trying to be facetious and pretend that is going to be like the HBO Minis series. Depicting right soldiers in World War ii, I believe it was. Yeah. Following their, these are true stories. Real battles. One, that’s right. One of the best war miniseries I’ve ever watched agreed.

They even interview actual veterans that were present at some of those battles. And many decades later you can see them struggling to even talk about it. So we’re not, I’m not trying to be facetious there, pretend that’s what that’s about, but the imagery of being in the trenches with other men. So we’re doing life together.

We’re supporting each other through the highs, through the lows. We’re speaking truth. We’re propping each other up when that needs to happen, and other times we’re propping other, like sometimes we’re being propped up, sometimes we’re gonna prop somebody else up. But there’s this notion of we’re doing this together.

Yeah. We did an episode, I think the very it wasn’t the very first one, but it was one of the, it was the first. Archetype, male archetype that we attacked or didn’t attack, but that we covered together. The lone wolf. The lone wolf, right? And in that, we talked about the importance of being able to be a lone wolf at times.

I feel like I’m channeling my lone wolf right now by taking this risks and putting myself out there and seeing who will respond and who will gather. But the lonely wolf is a very different deal. There’s a lot of lonely wolves out there that don’t feel they can truly talk to their spouse.

Certainly don’t want their kids to see their pain don’t feel they can talk to their employees ’cause that’s really complicated. And with their current. Network of friends. The conversations again are scrolling, not double clicking, are very surface driven and focus on things that where we feel confident like business and sports and all the rest of it.

But in, in a band of brothers, you go beyond the surface to what? What we need to talk about. We come to a place where we’re able to be more honest, more authentic, without a fear of judgment or someone thinking we’re weak actually, in a band of brothers who open up like that, it actually takes courage to do that.

So it isn’t weakness to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is a fucking superpower that demonstrates tremendous courage and sometimes that vulnerability starts. With just a revealing just a little bit. Yeah. Just taking a little risk and seeing, oh, hey, I didn’t get judged. I didn’t get rejected, I didn’t get made fun of, I didn’t get called.

Whatever name you can think of. And I’m thinking of a few right now that often get thrown around. You’re not afraid of that because what you get back is you get heard, you get validated, you are understood, and you’re supported and called higher. Yeah. This isn’t a place for men just to come and bitch about their problems.

Yeah. It’s a place where we can come and be honest about the challenges that we’re facing, but the community is gonna call you higher. We’re gonna invite you to where whatever level you can engage at whatever ready level, you’re ready. There’s some men listening right now. They’re ready for inner circle.

Yeah. They’re ready for fucking bullseye. They’re ready to go. I’m ready for this, man. I’ve been waiting for this my whole life. There’s others that are saying, this is resonating with me, but man, some of what you’re talking about Deshaun, that sounds a little scary. Yeah. I said, okay, then engage at whatever level you feel you can.

Yeah. This thing is still at the ground floor. We’re at ground zero right now, and the men that I’m gathering to this will help give shape to it. I’m not coming in with my own predetermined formula of what it’s gonna look like. I’ve got some thoughts about some things that we might do to support men but we’re gonna be having some great conversations in the weeks to come.

And you’re gonna be, we’ve just soft launched it for now. The official launch will come soon. We’ll put a link on on the screen right now, and it’ll be in the show notes for a landing page where you can sign up for some emails and more info. Information just to track with us as this thing is unfolding, but whatever level you’re ready to engage at, know that the foundry will alway, the brotherhood at the foundry will always invite you to take just one more yeah.

Whatever level you’re at, whatever level of comfort you’re at, we’re gonna encourage you to just push into a little bit more discomfort. Take just a little more move more, a little bit more in that direction, because ultimately this could transform your life.

Rob: Yeah, absolutely. And that’s why, and I appreciate.

I agree with you. I don’t ever want to, sometimes you hear, sports teams, they use that battle language, war language and it’s not the same in many ways, but we are in a fucking battle. Yep. We are in a war, and we’re in a war for the mental health of men.

For as we’ve talked about before, the epidemic of suicide among men that are in their forties and fifties. Three

Eric: out of four in Canada, four out of five in the us suicides. Men, it’s the pandemic, the epidemic that nobody’s talking about. Thankfully, some people are, some groups are starting to talk about it.

Yeah. I’ll be at locally here in Ottawa on June 3rd. This episode drops sometime in May, I believe, but it’s a few weeks later. I’ll be speaking at a Dare to Be Vulnerable event. Yeah. We had Susan Blaine on the show before. Yeah. And this event is dedicated to men’s mental health.

Rob: And because, so it is a battle and when I think of Band of Brothers, when I think of the Foundry, it is, in the same way.

No man left behind. Yeah. It’s this notion of we are in this war together and you’re not, stop fighting your inner demons and your battle alone but bring around you people who will fight with you for you supporting you alongside of you. And that’s really what you’re talking about with the foundry.

Eric: Imagine having a place that when you’re in a dark moment. Whether you’ve ever admitted to another soul or not, you have them. We all have those dark moments of self-doubt, of being depressed or being down or being kicked in the gut of not knowing what to do of second guessing ourselves. And imagine instead of.

Burying yourself in a bottle or re reaching out to pornography an extramarital affair, or just burying yourself in your work and doubling down on that and neglecting other important things. Imagine having someone you could call a community you could reach out to and say, this is how I’m struggling, and what are you guys, what have you guys done?

What’s worked for you? And getting nothing but support, nothing but encouragement and zero judgment.

Rob: Alright. Alright. Retired or se former preacher, I’m gonna get you to do something that we do this. Our guests, we often will ask ’em to do is, I’m gonna get you to look into that camera. Yeah. You’re gonna speak to the men who are watching or listening to this and I want you to challenge them, encourage them inspire them to act now and to respond and to be part of the foundry.

Eric: I’m gonna channel. And use very similar language that I used when we launched the life Vision Challenge about a year ago. And I’d say to you that, are you listening right now? Are watching this? You don’t have to do this alone anymore. You’re successful on paper, but something just isn’t right with other areas of your life and it can change.

What do you fucking have to lose? Give it a shot. Sign up for the emails. Get on our mailing list. Check out the landing page and stick with us. Track with us. This could be game changing for you. I got chills and they’re both the,

Rob: he said don’t

Eric: lose. If you’re, oh my God, did I just, what is that?

Yeah. Did I just channel

Rob: grease? You did a grease lightning. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you, Danny. Thank, and I’m done. That was anxiety. Yes. I know it was. I do wanna encourage you if you are one of the men listening don’t wait. Respond. What have you got to lose? Sign up doesn’t even mean you have to commit to anything.

You could just check it out. You could look and see and say, is this something for me? And for all of the women that are listening in or watching this episode this is one you need to share out. I wanna encourage you, that you know your men are struggling. They struggle to talk to you and to share.

This is an opportunity, it’s a gift. That you can present to them to say, Hey, listen I encourage you, I want to give you permission to step into this with these other men. We want to thank you for taking the time to listen to this episode. Listen, there’s a lot we didn’t cover.

Today, we’re gonna have to do a part two of the foundry. I have a feeling a lot of our mindful masculinity episodes are gonna be around the foundry in the next little while, so make sure you stay tuned. Stay listening. Thank you for taking the time to be a part of this episode. And now get out there and live your best life.