This episode is about getting clear about what actually enriches your life. What are the things that you do or experience that make your life better? How do we know when we’re experiencing those things? How can we introduce more of those things into our lives?
Show Notes for Episode 10
Here are a few of the tools, resources and links we discussed in this episode:
- Here’s a simple tool you can use to start defining what enriches your life, identify what’s taking energy out of your life, and to give some thought to the things that are neutral — and not really working for you. Let us know what you learn!
- We’d also like to give a shout out to the good people from Redemption Whiskey. You may not be an official sponsor, but … wait you could be! Reach out to us directly to find out how! And thanks for the great bourbon!
Episode 10: What Enriches Your Life?
The Living Richly Blueprint is made up of the things you engage in that really “fill your cup”.
Rob Dale, Eric Deschamps, Trefor Munn-Venn
Hi, and welcome to the Living Richly Podcast. My name is Rob Dale, and I am here with my great friends Trefor Munn-Venn. And Eric Deschamps. He said, great friends. Uh, it is great friends. And I also tried to think, I’m gonna have to go back and look at all the podcasts to see how often I use your name first and then your name.
It does go back and forth because I do try to go back and forth. You are, you’re very mindful of that. You’re doing very well. Uh, and I’m glad because I would’ve been keeping score otherwise. Right. But we’ll keep score moving forward. Absolutely. No pressure. Absolutely. Okay. Um, we are, uh, I don’t, I don’t, I dunno, I don’t even know what to keep score on that.
Uh, but it is, it’s, thank you so much for taking the time to, uh, listen in and to be a part of this journey with us. Uh, we have been starting to look at some of the, um, Uh, the, the practices or elements or the, the, the components, uh, that we have found are common, uh, for the three of us when it comes to mapping out what living richly means for us.
Uh, as we said in a couple of episodes ago, uh, You know, we certainly talked about the idea that there are probably many different ways that you can come to figure out, uh, what truly it means to live a, a fulfilling life. Uh, to live a life where you, you truly are kind of, you know, content and happy and all of those things.
Um, this is the way we did it, right? And, and we really wanted to just be able to provide that through conversation with, with all of you that, uh, have decided to be on this journey with us. And, and to be clear, Feel like we’ve got it all figured out, uh, or that we are on the journey, right? Or that our, our, our answers are the answers.
We, we just really saw this podcast as an opportunity to pay it forward. That, uh, absolutely this process had been so life-changing for us, uh, each of us experiencing in our own kind of way. A pretty significant transformation as we leaned into the question. Uh, and we just felt very strongly that maybe, uh, there’s some people out there that are going to hear this and it’s, this is going to be perhaps fuel for that fire, right?
Gonna encourage, uh, those steps to be taken towards living, uh, their best life. And, and, and maybe just for us to take a minute, if this is. The first time that you are listening to a podcast, oh, glad you’re here with us. Yeah, glad you’re here. Here. Great to have you here. Make sure you subscribe. Um, encourage you to subscribe, , uh, and also to listen to some of the, uh, the po, the podcasts that have come before this one.
But maybe in, in a quick summary, we talked about the notion that at the core, at the beginning, at the, the foundation of this is a radical self accept. Yeah, absolutely. That critical, this notion of, it’s so critical that you get that we are able to get to a point where we, uh, accept ourselves that, uh, we, we care for ourselves.
I would actually say of all the things, uh, where we said, well, this may help you, this may be part of right. That will, that is, uh, I don’t, I, I think is foundational, right? Like the, I think we, we established that without a radical self-acceptance, without wrestling that issue to the ground or beginning to wrestle that issue to the ground for yourself, it’s going to be hard to embrace any kind of higher type.
Higher level living, uh, because that issue of low self-esteem, low self-worth, uh, harsh inner critic, um, uh, those issues will continue to keep you grounded, uh, in a very negative way. Yeah, absolutely. So again, uh, rather than take a long time to talk about that episode eight, uh, we to gripper, we do, it is a, it is a great, uh, it, I think it’s one of our.
It, it is certainly in our top 10.
Well played. Well played. Um, I didn’t see it coming. Shoulda have Was I just, there was a, it was a ball right there. Softball for you. It’s been a long day. Oh, it’s been a long game.
Last episode, we talked about, uh, the first, the values, uh, and defining what our values are and how important that is. Mm-hmm. , uh, uh, that if we don’t, then we are going to be spending our lives, uh, living by other people’s values or by kind of, uh, society’s dictation, living someone else’s story, right? As opposed to living around living someone.
Story. Uh, let’s talk today about the second of these components. Oh, I like this one, which is, the question is, is, um, what enriches your life and how do we understand it Now, maybe let’s start as uh, kind of understanding the difference between last week’s conversation and this week’s. Cuz there’s some similarities, but they’re clearly different why we put them different.
Uh, let’s talk about the difference between defining your values and defining what enrich. Excellent. Great idea. Well, and silence . Alright. Apparently we don’t know Steve. Steve, could you tell us? No, we, we started with the, with the question actually, I think the, the earlier question that we stumbled on was what enriches my life?
Right? And, and right. That’s going back to summer. Do you remember that? You’re actually right. Cause we’re, that’s the first question. We’re playing with the language and then we’re trying to figure out, well, what actually makes my life. Right. It’s, it’s, and then we realize, ah, there’s some, there’s some stuff that comes before that needs to flow out of something rather than, than be the, the source.
And I think that’s where, where we recognize ultimately that, that self-acceptance as that foundational piece. Right. Uh, but then our values to really help help us guide how we’re going to experience whatever it is we’re going to encounter in our life. Yeah. And we get to choose that. We can either inherit that we.
Deal it from somebody else, but ultimately what we need are to identify the values that are truly aligned with who we actually are, not who we think we should be, not who we think someone else thinks we should be. That sounded very complicated, the uh, , but can we get a grammar check on that? Yeah. I don’t know.
I wouldn’t do it. I be too risky. The, but to really look and say what is central and core for you in terms of those values. Yeah. The, uh, this is a little bit different because it’s really about, How, what are the activities that we engage in that do make us feel enriched, that are aligned with our values?
They don’t have to be a direct expression, but they can’t, I don’t think they’re gonna be able to run counter. No. Uh, right, so they won’t give you energy if they run counter to your values, but to your point Exactly. Yeah. Your, the values piece to me, Is again, how, how I decide, how I’m deciding and choosing to show up right in life.
Uh, uh. Right. And, and for me, that’s courage and curiosity and compassion connection. Like how I wanna show up like that. Um, the, the, the living richly. Uh, uh, the, the, uh, living richly blueprint, as I’ve come to call it for myself, my own blueprint. Um, these are the things that I engage in, uh, that really fill my cup.
Uh, so I want to show up as this person in these different things. Uh, so they’re similar. They’re complimentary, but they are different. Now, they may, some of the things that make your, and we’re gonna get deeper into this. We’re gonna give you some examples. Uh, some of the things that you say, well, this enriches my life.
In, in one way, you, you might say, well, I value that because it enriches my value. Right? Right. But it’s different from a core value that is like a compass, uh, uh, that, that compass, that north star that guides your decisions, guides your actions, uh, right. Makes, makes life easier to navigate, to helps you keep on track with where the kind of person you want to be.
Well, you’re your language. Was really, really sharp. Yeah, because your values, you can have really good, positive values. Doesn’t mean you’re gonna have good, positive things happen in your life. Right? Like shit’s gonna happen, right. There’s gonna be. hurt and mistakes and tragedy and pain and joy and surprise and like all of it.
So none of that is to say what’s about to happen to you is going to change. But the experience of it will because you can engage, you can, because you use the language, you can navigate your way through, right? Using, using your values. So if in the face of tragedy or betrayal or loss, Confusion or hurt or whatever, you can still be courageous and connected and confident and compassionate and you can still bring your values to.
They become really powerful aids and sources, right? To navigate those moments. So it’s not about changing it. Now life’s gonna be real nice to you cuz you’ve got a good set of values. No. Right. What it means is you’re gonna be able to meet life equipped. Right, right. In a way, already having decided ahead of time.
In this challenging time, in this conflict, in this crisis, I’ve already decided who I want to be, right? Right. How I want to show up. So it makes my decision making my navigating doesn’t make the situation easier, but it does cut through a lawful lot of noise. Uh, again, so that I can end up on the other side of those situations, um, uh, not having navigated perfectly, uh, but having stayed more on track, uh, with, with that definition of who I am.
Yeah, absolutely. And, and later on we’re gonna be talking in a, in a future episode, we’re gonna be talking about, uh, the rituals that we, you know, uh, and, and again, this is how I love this, for lack of a better word, model that. Developing model, model, developing loose model . But, uh, the framework here is how it builds, uh, each of these components build, uh, towards something which is these rituals that, that are really going to help us express all of this.
Um, so what are some of the, what are maybe some of the questions, what are some of the things that, that we could do in order to help kind of define those, uh, enriching activities, behaviors? Um, what would we do? I, I think finding them is very much a listening exercise, right? Listening to how you feel, listening to how you react, listening to how relaxed you are, or if you’re feeling stressed or anxious.
I think all of those are giving you signals, right? Feelings are very, Physical tools, powerful tools to help you understand like, you know, we have two ears for a reason. That’s a, you know, it’s an evolutionary development so we can understand where, what is the source of sound because the sound will reach the second year later than the first year and we can triangulate, like everything about us is so functional, but people forget that our feelings are, they’re like, oh, and then it, then I feel things like, no, that thing you’re feeling is totally physical, right.
Totally physical. Your early warning detection system in the feelings, right? It’s chemical, it’s biological, like the whole thing is, is embedded in us and it’s there to give us the signals. We need to say, slow down, speed up, stay away, do more of that, right? Very often it’s amazing how things that taste bad are often poisonous, right?
In the in. Uh, because that’s a signal to say, don’t eat that. Right? We’ve evolved to say we like these flavors and taste and not those ones, right? So listening to that kind of thing is really, really important to start to say, okay, what is actually making me feel better in a good, healthy, values aligned way?
Right? Right. And I think, again, in your feelings, uh uh, things that repeatedly you respond negatively to, you might, well, I think that is an impoverishing a signal activity. Yeah. But starting a new activity, I remember when I started, uh, so I’m an avid kayaker. You guys know that. I love the water. That’s one of my living richly blueprint elements is nature.
So you’ve always liked the water, but you always haven’t been an avid kayaker. I have not. Right. And kayaking was easier to get into and then, I, I remember I said, I’m gonna try, uh, a standup paddle board. Uh, and that required what leaning into my value of courage, because initially I didn’t feel confident.
I didn’t feel very competent until I got my balance. I, I was nervous about falling into the water in front of people. Yeah. That kind of thing. Um, now he’s gonna be a professional. Uh, paddle board, stunt paddle boarder, stunt paddle boarder, . Well, I’ve gone from not being very good to, within a shrimp time.
Pretty good. You know, now I have a touring board and love to go, oh, I’m just gonna go out for 14 hours of paddle board today. Yeah, yeah, right. But if I had depended purely on how I felt in those initial moments, I might have backed down from that activity. Right. So I, I think when we talk about our feelings is we, we can’t treat them just in isolation, uh, in at one time.
Some things clearly, uh, you know, like negative family conflict. Well that’s not a hard one to say. That’s probably gonna impoverish me. Right, right. , that’s not a life giving activity or danger or danger. But sometimes when we are experiencing or experimenting, uh, and, and remind me, talked about hobbies. I don’t wanna forget.
That’s a placeholder. I wanna come back to that in a second. But sometimes when we’re experimenting with what are the things that, there’s pressure right there. Did you get pressure? Oh, you need to remember. Hey, don’t forget hobbies. Thank you. Hobbies. Okay. I reminded you, if you forget later, that’s not my fault.
He’s writing it down. He’s being useful. , useful, useful and lovable. . You’re a useful and lovable. Rob. No, no. You, you both. Okay. Get back to, or else this is, I’m so. Steve is so skilled at post editing, he’s gonna fix all of his shit, right? . Steve hates us. He hates, he’s laughing. only on the outside. Uh, when you’re experimenting with things, uh, a as part of like, I wanna try something new to see if this is something that will fill my cup or whatever.
Initially there’s going to be feelings of discomfort, uh, anxiety, whatever. that you need to push through. Right. Uh, you don’t want to stay away. You, you, I think it’s a, so much of our life has lived out of fear. Yeah. Where we don’t want to try something for fear of looking foolish or I’ve, I’m not confident.
I’m not confident here. And so we tend to do what keep giving ourselves to what we know we’re competent, confident at, which we’re for most professionals is what they just throw themselves more and more into work. Right. Um, and, and then don’t have a life outside of that. Uh, so. Feelings over time can be a great signal.
Let me say this about hobbies, uh, for for a moment, because, uh, I was gonna remind you, you gonna remind, I was gonna ask him all about hobbies. I didn’t even need you to remind me. I remember all on my own. I’m like adulting. I’m adulting right now. What about hobbies? What about hobby? I’m glad you asked.
That’s a great question. Um, I, I, I can’t. Tell you how many times over the course of my life as being someone who overperformed and, uh, overworked and gave 110% all the time in my work and yet didn’t have much outside of that, uh, people say, Eric, you really need to get a hobby. Eric. You really need thanks.
Need to get a hobby. You should get a hobby, right. I heard that so many times and I didn’t disagree. Uh, I was like, yeah, you’re probably right. But to me, hobby became a very loaded word. Uh, and I think we still hear that today. I know professionals will tell me, like, some of the leaders I work with who tell me, my wife or my husband keep telling me I need to get a hobby, right?
And I’m like, oh, I can still relate. Uh, it’s a loaded, heavy word, one, because it feels like an obligation. Like just one more thing, one more thing I need to do. And it’s a, it’s, it’s being pushed on me even though I know I need. It feels like something else on my to-do list. Plus finding a hobby. It’s almost like you’re committing to it before you’ve even tried it.
Uh, I’m trying to find a hobby. Uh, I’m trying to find something that I’m gonna love and want to keep doing and invest time and energy. Great. Great. What if you forgot about, I know for me what was the most liberating thing of all in, in discover. More activities that enriched my life was to abandon the pursuit of hobbies and just start experimenting with activities of interest.
Yeah. Uh, and, and some of them, I would say now turned into hobbies. They turned into passions, but I didn’t have this pressure right out of the gate to feel like I need to find a hobby. I see leaders doing it. I’m. Uh, maybe I’ll make this my hobby. I’m like, well, before you make that decision, have you even tried it?
Uh, so I think it’s like letting ourselves off the hook a little bit. So a bit of a sidebar, but I think it’s an important concept. Well, but as people often head towards retirement, right? Right. They’re like, what am I gonna do with all my time? I’m gonna need a hobby. I’m like, eh, what you need is a life here.
Right, right. How we do wanna live your life? What activities. do you want to engage in that are going to be enjoyable, right. En enriching. Exactly. And that was the question we asked, uh, when we were together that summer, um, uh, a year and a half ago now at this point. Um, and we were talking that emerged out of those initial conversations around living our richest life.
Was, I think each of us began to ask ourselves, well, what does that look like for me? Uh, and here’s where, again, the, the guidelines or these, these concepts that we’re sharing with all of you listening, uh, this is gonna look different for everybody. There may be some commonality, sometimes that shows up, but it’s gonna be very unique because it’s as unique as every person listening to this episode.
Uh, right. Uh, it’s as unique as the three of us, uh, sitting here are unique in our own ways, although we share some things in. Um, uh, the, we, I, I began to compile a list, and I know you guys did as well. You began to, to think about, well, what are the things that enrich me? What are the things that fill my cup?
And I began to write them down. Um, I also started, uh, I don’t know if you guys did this too, but I, I started a list of what are the things that actually right. Impoverished me. Yeah. What are the things. If, if I want to get clear on what enriches me, what are the things that, that, uh, that I engage in, uh, that, that actually deplete me.
Uh, and then as I continued to come back to this list, I actually broke it into two categories, uh, on each side and, and, and, uh, rather than all in one list, I had, what are the things that. That, um, enriched me, uh, in my personal life outside of work and what are the things in my work that that enrich me and likewise impoverished me both personally and professionally.
What was fascinating as I began to add to that list and look at that list is that it was clear some themes were emerging. Uh, right. There was a lot of different items. You know, spending time with Kate, spending time with my kids, uh, being out in nature, taking Lokey out on lawn, right walks off leash, uh, engaging in deep conversations with great friends.
Uh, and, and the list was on and on and on. These were all, by the way, things that en enriched my life. , right? Is it bad that I assumed that? I dunno. Maybe just read him. Well, just him. Well just wanna be clear. Just wanna be clear. Yeah. Uh, but then I, as I began to, uh, again, look at the list of items, and again, this is not something that you’re necessarily gonna once and done it.
You’re, you’re probably gonna come at it, you’re gonna come back. And this is why I think it’s wise to develop a, a reflective practice of sorts where, uh, you know, you can, you can, uh, uh, take time on a regular basis, whatever that looks like for you. It doesn’t have to be an hour every day. It could be a few minutes every day.
It could be a few minutes, a few days a week. It could be once a week. You sit down, reflect on your week, but where you can anchor yourself in these types of questions. Anchor yourself in your values. Begin to identify again the things that enrich your life and add to it over. And as the themes emerged for me, it was, it was pretty cool how they, they, they landed it, it came down to four things for me that all the things that I listed could be nested under these four categories, and it came down to loving well, mm-hmm.
So being connected in loving and life-giving relationships is, is one of the things that is very, very enriching to me. That really fills my cup. Mm Uh, the other one was living well, uh, creating rich moments and experiences. Things like paddle boarding and kayaking and going on lock walks and adventures, and going off-roading and spending great time with my kids and all of this.
That these, it’s, it was really about creating those rich moments and experiences. Uh, for me, it’s not about stuff. I’m not a stuff guy. Um, it’s about those moments, those memories, right? So, living well. Uh, the third one that emerged for me was being, well, becoming my best self. I know that I’m at my best, I feel at my best, my cup.
Most full. When I’m growing and evolving and reading and reflecting and engaging in the work of self-development, uh, it’s really, really important to me. And when I neglect it, I’m not, that’s it. It impoverishes me, right? I literally feel my cup begin to, to, to, to, to wane. So being my best self, uh, being well.
And then the last, the last one for me was around a serving. Making a difference, making a contribution, helping others. Uh, and again, that used to come from a different place. If you listen to my story, uh, serving well used to be a means to an end for me. And the end was, uh, about validation, about trying to overcome the, trying to balance the ledger between good and bad, right?
If I did good enough, maybe that would outweigh the fact that I’m not a good person. It came from a. Place a mixed motivation. Uh, now when I talk about serving well, it’s again, coming from that best place in me that, that truest, uh, place of this is who I am and I am happy when I’m making others happy. I’m happy when I’m, I’m, I’m making a difference, uh, uh, leaving people better than when I found them as language that I use, I will, whether it’s, uh, it’s, it’s stopping to help someone in need, or whether it’s just giving someone a smile in the line at the grocery store.
I wanna leave people better than I find them. And when I do that, , it brings me great joy. I feel very, very, uh, enriched. And so it became, again, this powerful blueprint to say, okay, so now if I have a better sense of what enriches my life and I, I can, I can articulate it in a way that’s easy to remember. Uh, I can check in if I’m feeling off
You guys ever feel off, we all feel off at . Well, I can check in. Is that rhetorical? Is that rhetoric? I don. I’m gonna go with ya. Yeah. . Steve, have you ever felt off? Sure have. I sure. See, you heard his voice in the studio. Steve exist a real person. He’s like, God, and God, he’s listening. Steve exists. Steve exists.
Uh, and he’s a little off. And he’s a little off. . Hey, hey. Whoops. Forgot he can hear me. He can hear you. He’s listening to all this and he can edit. He’s got the power . So careful Travis, so sorry. Uh, but when you’re feeling off, you can check in. Are am I, am I again, going back to having, imagine having, uh, values identified and having this blueprint of what a rich life looks like.
Um, listen, it doesn’t mean that I can live a hundred percent of the time doing the things that I love and give me energy, the list of things that impoverished me. Some of these things. Are things that I, I have to do, they’re part of my existence. But now, can I, is there a way for me to dial up on the enriching stuff and dial down some of the imp And not just that, but it allows you to now when you do need to jump in on the things that impoverish you, you know, for one, for me, dealing with conflict is impoverishing when there’s, you know, conflict and relationship.
Remind me, you and I have to have a tough conversation after this recording. Sure. And I’m so ready for that tough conversation, , because I’ve been. So much time in enriching my life. Ah, there you go. See? Right. So now I, so you wanna wait till later? No energy. I wanna wait until he’s vulnerable. I, I’m so, I’m, I’m so fucking ready for you,
No. You know, like I, but you can be ready to have, you know, you and, and I remember you guys had said this. Uh, about how as we began this journey, how I started to show up more, you know, differently. Oh, yeah. Huge. And, and, and that was part of it was the, the notion of being able to speak up even if it might lead to conflict.
I was less concerned about the energy that conflict would. Uh, require, because I was building up this, this kind of bank, right? I was banking a whole bunch of energy from the things that you, you had, you could write that I had the capacity, you could write that check for that conflict because you had the funds available to you.
Right. So in the bank account. So it’s not about, it’s not about never doing Oh, you, I’m just never gonna do anything. You don’t like that. That’s just, IM. Right. Right. There are things you have to do in life that are not going to be fun, that are not going to be in trouble. We, we do have to adults listen.
Yeah. You know, well, I would say adulting is about embracing the things that you, that, that bring you, that, that you’re able to express. These are the things that give me value, that, that bring, uh, energy, to me, that enriched me. That’s true. Adulting is, is, is not being afraid to say sometimes to somebody. No.
Right. Or I’m, and, and not being apologetic. You know, oh, I’m sorry. I, I I’d love to be able to help you. I can’t, no, I, I’m not able to do that. That’s not part of where I’m at in my life. Right. We, we talk about a, the importance of setting boundaries and, and, uh, I, we’ll, we’ll leave the subject of saying sorry, too much alone, but, but I think that’s worthy of another episode.
We can unpack that later. Every time. It’s not just a Canadian thing. I know it’s Canadian. None. Sorry, sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt, but could you, could you make a note about, about saying, sorry. Uh, sorry. Listen, the saying, sorry. Let me just make this one statement. We say it so much. I actually am finding new ways to, um, um, we almost say it like a greeting, but every time we say we’re sorry over things that, sorry, is not required, we are telling ourselves we’ve done something wrong.
Right. Um, and it registers really, I’m sorry, poorly, the brain story earlier. I think we all are. You better be sorry. Uh, I’m sorry I brought you a coffee this morning. . Is that the same? No. No, not the same. not the same. But again, when you’re clear on the things that, uh, uh, you can’t avoid, it’s not about avoiding things that impoverish.
Right. But is there a way to dial them down? Is is, is there a way to, again, we, back to this issue of boundaries I was talking about, uh, we, we talk about boundaries, the importance of having them. And when we don’t have boundaries, if we don’t set them, others will set them for us. Yeah. Just like if. Define our own values.
Others will define those for us, whether knowingly or unknowingly. Uh, but what do you wanna establish boundaries around? Well, you want to round establish boundaries around your values so that your values get protected. Right? Yeah. And, and that you can be that true version of you. Uh, and you want to establish some boundaries around what matters to you and the things that, that are, the things that bring you energy and the things that take it from you.
Those, those are good places to establish boundaries around to protect that. And, and when you’re feeling off, when you’re feeling like in a funk. All experience that from time to time. Now you’ve got, again, think of, I used to refer this in the early days as a map, but a map infers that we know exactly the destination and location and in today’s world, like think of Google Maps.
Just the other day I was driving on the highway where they’re doing all the L R T work and cuz the highway’s been now kind of moved in the east end a little bit. This way, uh, to the right of where it used to be. When you drive that section of the highway, the map loses you. It says Get back on your route.
Get back on your route. , right? It’s confused cause it hasn’t been updated yet. Well, the reality is, a map gets outdated very, very quickly because of the ch the, the, the, the, the fast-paced change that we’re experiencing. And think of how fast change happens even in our day-to-day lives. We don’t need a map, we need the compass.
And when we have that, we can go back and again, we can reorient our lives to those things that matter. Yeah. When we start to feel off, we have something to check and say, okay, have I been neglecting my values and have, have I been spending too much time in the things that impoverished me and not enough time in the things that enrich me?
and here’s a further thing. It’s really cool when you’ve got a list of things that enrich you when you’re not feeling great to say, okay, what do I need to do? What do I need exactly? What do I need? Do I need to go for a walk? Do I need to, do I need to, for me? Do I need to get my board and go out on the water?
Well, not right now, it’s a little cold, uh, right. But, uh, you can do it. I could do it. But you, again, you can, you can recalibrate much faster. Because you’ve determined what’s important to you ahead of time. Okay. So you ju you, you, you, you kind of covered, summarized some themes, uh, that you had the four themes.
Yeah. But maybe just to go back to and, and Trevor, uh, I’d be curious to know what are some practical, I, I, I know I find a helpful, I’m trying to figure out what enriches me, what, what, uh, what depletes me. Yeah. Some examples. So what would be some examples from you? What would be some of the things that enrich you?
Maybe one or two things that de. Sure. Learning, learning enriches me, right? I love learning. I’m, I am so curious, you know, that, so the, whether it’s reading, taking courses, in some ways it almost doesn’t matter on what, uh, confined just about everything becomes interesting. Can I ju just to jump in cuz I remember and it’s, it’s one of those, it’s a story I tell about you all the time.
I hope I tell it correctly when I, when I tell this to other people. Well, I’m curious. Yeah. Yeah. , yeah. Let’s see, let’s see. Uh, now that I’ve sparked your curiosity, uh, about the notion of when you traveled a lot Yeah. And you got tired of eating. Oh yeah. You got tired of eating. And you, again, the curiosity, this is what drew you to.
So Yeah. So this is, this is one of the other things is, is food, uh, is another thing really enriches me. I lo you guys know I love to cook. Mm-hmm. the, so that’s why you always get that job. When we go away at all our offsite, we know who’s making the. That is, there’s no discussion. We don’t even bring up.
It’s like, and, and he goes, should I bring whatever , we know what, be good. No one’s died yet. It’s been great. The, uh, so I used to travel so much and I got so sick of hotel food, which started to all seem the same, that every city I’d go to, I would find a local cooking school and I would reach out to them saying, Hey, can I do a class with one of your chefs?
And so I would basically, for the evening, I would get my meal that. I would meet someone new, I would learn what was in season in that area, and then I’d pick up some cooking technique. Right. Great ex exercise. And, and just, I ended up doing it all over the place. Yeah. Right. And it’s just the nature of work, like I was on the road so much was like, well, I’m.
Mode anyway. I’m gonna just gonna like sit and watch TV and wait for the next meeting or go do something. So, yeah, so that, that was a big part of it. I love to cook. I love this year we, our Thanksgiving was, uh, we had a, we had a chicken from our neighbor’s farm. We ate that. We didn’t have a Turkey, but everything else we ate, we grew as well.
And so that was really amazing. So the notion to be able to like just grow this food, to cultivate that out of go pull it out of our own garden on the day of, uh, and then cook that meal and share. It was just, you know, it was fantastic. So now, so now I’m looking to say, How much further can I take that , like the, and it, you know, and, and think about a simple activity.
I mean, it was simple. There was a lot that went into creating that moment. But knowing that that is something that is meaningful to you, uh, having taken the time to identify it. I think, I think so many of us go through life and we, we do run into happiness. Like we do bump into joy. Right. And, and, uh, uh, some of our greatest moments, I mean, social media is an interesting animal because it’s basically a, a, a one-dimensional representation of people’s lives, which is just their highlights.
Yeah. Uh, right. But it, it, it does, it is a testament to the fact that there are those moments that show up. Yeah. But we’re not deliberate in saying, that really matters to me. That really fills my cup. And how do I dial that up? Yeah. How do I do more of that? How do I be more deliberate? Right. Yeah. I mean, being.
It’s actually a super, for me, super simple one. Yeah. It’s huge for me. Nature and for me, uh, add nature and close to the water or on the water, right. And now it’s next level for me. It’s a, it’s, it’s soul replenishing. Well, and, and for me, good nature as well, for me, and it’s interesting because I, I, I remember, I, I’ve shared this story with you guys about, Listening to, I used to listen to, uh, podcasts when I would walk.
Uh, my dog. I had a Doberman at one point, and I would take this doberman for walks and, and, uh, down by the water and, and, uh, listen in these podcasts. And one of the podcasts was talking about being in the moment and, you know, kind of listening and taking in nature and all of this. Uh, and, and, uh, I realized that I wasn’t doing any of that because I was listening to a podcast.
Now some people, they, they go for their walk or they go for their run or whatever, and they, they have music on or whatever, right? And. That’s part of, that’s what enriches them. Yeah. For me it’s the silence, right? And, and, and, and taking in, truly taking in all of nature. So one of the, I I live right beside the trans can of the trail and, uh, to go out and walk that on that trail walk for, for kilometers and kilometers down the trail.
Uh, and just, I don’t want music on, I don’t want anything else on it might, Wendy might be with me and we might be having conversation, but even. , a lot of it is in silence. So I can hear the birds or I can hear everything around you. Be present to what you’re present in that, the energy that, that brings me in.
So you’re right, it’s finding there may be even for people, uh, uh, activities that enrich them that are similar yet different, right? Right. So if you’re a walking, listening to this podcast right now, shut it off. You listen. Shut it off. Keep listening. Subscribe. Share it. , wait till, wait till you’re with your family.
Listen, don’t listen him. Wait till you’re with people you don’t like. Put your ear, butt in. Tune us back in. Have an enriched moment. But, uh, well, but let, but truly like there is something about that. If you value that. Do that right now. Don’t do this. Yes. Right. Do that. Well, I think when we think of, again, uh, it’s amazing to me that, and don’t subscribe or, oh no, sorry.
If you please, that’s ok. Fixing and post editing. Edit. We’re just gonna cut him out. Edit. Steve’s like already He took a a marker of the tie there. He, yeah, exactly. So this is a podcast about two x pre . We’ve, we’ve Xed the, we edited out the farmer . Uh, but let’s face it, how many of the activities do we engage in right, that are mindless mind numbing.
Coping, uh, uh, techniques, uh, and listen, it’s, it’s downtime’s. Okay? We don’t need everything to be about growth. We don’t need to be every, no, no. So it’s good to have downtime. Yeah. The problem is, I, there’s so many activities we engage in that are neutral. Uh, they really don’t give you anything, right? Uh, and they’re not necessarily bad for you.
Usually what determines which side of the equation? Now they never move towards good, for example. I don’t, just don’t know if there’s any possible way binging Netflix all weekend ever moves into a positive category. I think it’s, it’s, it becomes, it can become actually too much of those neutral activities usually moves it into what I would call Yeah.
It, it’s now depleting you. It’s actually. It’s, it’s, it’s, it’s becoming unhealthy. Uh, it’s like we have bourbon on the table here today cuz we enjoy bourbon. We’ll put a link to the, we’ll put a link to the actual bourbon that we’re drinking so that you can go to the L weapon website if you’re listening and you own a distillery.
A distillery, we have sponsorship, we have sponsorships. , interestingly, the bourbon’s called redemption . It is it. Uh, but there’s nothing wrong with enjoying a glass of bourbon. But if I start to use alcohol as the way that I cope with life and I’m enjoy too much, now all of a sudden that’s moving into a problematic category.
I think, uh, the, uh, far too many of us, and, and I was guilty of this for so long, and again, this is a more, uh, this evolution for me has been more recent, um, uh, that we give ourselves either completely to our work or we give ourselves completely to our parenting, or we give ourselves completely to our relationships, but we’re not.
We’re not identifying the things that really replenish me. And usually by the time I get to me, I’m so tired that I just give myself to those mind numbing, distracting type activities that don’t replenish me at all. So I sit in front of the TV and hours go by or, or I sit there and you know, Thumbing social media, you know, just going through the feed, reading really about nonsense and other people’s lives.
Well, while not really engaging with my own, uh, and this is what really, I think, uh, uh, when you think about the time spent in those mind numbing activities, when people say, I don’t have time for this. I’m like, I’m gonna push back on you. And you say that actually the studies show that the average person has anywhere from four to five hours of disposable time.
Every single show. Show me the screen time on your phone. Right, right. Show me the screen time on your phone. And we, we have traded. Uh, living richly. And living our best life for becoming digital zombies that are constantly distracted. And, and, and listen, there’s nothing wrong with listening to music. Uh, a podcast I put music on or a podcast on when I work out.
Right? Right. But, uh, but I think there is value though, in saying, why am I doing that? Yeah. Is it because I need to distract myself? Uh, listen, I used to struggle getting silent and being alone with myself. Didn’t like that at all. Because again, uh, the, the, what I was telling myself, the dialogue was so negative.
I’d do anything to drown it out. Some of us are relying on some of these, these distractions, even what would seem to be positive activities, just as a means of avoidance. We’re avoiding dealing with ourselves, right? Yeah. Uh, and, and so if that’s the case, and I would say even what appears to be a positive activity oh, so might actually be unhealthy, uh, but it comes back down to saying, Am I investing more time?
Not in neutral act. We may have some of that that shows up and that’s okay, but how might I start dialing up the noise on the things that actually fill my cup, make me a better person, uh, fill, leave me full of energy, full of life. Yeah. Uh, right, because again, then I’m gonna show up in all of the, the other roles that I play, uh, in life as a much more happy, fulfilled, grounded in.
I love that. I love how you’ve approached that and, and the idea that, again, we, we all have 86,400 seconds. Every day. Oh, hoo. I thought, wow, we’re getting close to the end. Is that, is that, I was gonna say, I hope that’s not the length of this episode, , and it was very specific. It was very, Steve is flagging us down thousand.
Please do not go that long. 86,000, 40 seconds, seconds. Right. You have it. I have it. And we all have the same, everybody does. You don’t make more time. You don’t, you know, right. Like you have. That’s, that’s your time. The real question is how are you gonna spend it? Right. Well, and you can change the quality of a moment, right?
Absolutely. Every moment is not the. Now you think of those moments when time stands still? Yeah. Right. When things take our breath away, uh, and it tends not to be in front of a screen, right? It tends to be with someone we care about deeply or. Usually in a, some kind of natural context. Right, right. And, and it’s not that every moment needs to be that, but we can cultivate moments where that happens more often.
Right. One of the things I love that more often, just more often, it’s not, there’s not, it’s not about absolutes here. Right. It’s about motion towards Absolut Absence became a Star Wars reference. That’s right. But like for me, I, I’ve traded off, uh, evening television where probably. More often, I’ll, I’ll do a quick campfire outside.
Right? Because in part, cuz I can, like, that’s a, that’s a great luxury for me. And, and we’re, it’s cold enough right now. Everybody’s like, what are you crazy? I’m like, maybe a little but the, the fire’s warm and it feels good while I’m out there. Right. Right. The stars at night, right, for me, are a huge, uh, they’re a huge deal.
Right. Um, the other thing, and this is where the personal and the professional really overlap, it’s around what I would call powerful conversations. Meaningful conversations. No, see, that’s one of mine too. Right? Like, absolutely. And from our coaching perspective with other people, uh, to, to me I add like with other people on the journey.
On the journey, yeah. Right. Because like the, the ability to like do what the three of us do. Oh yeah. It’s so life giving, right? Yeah. To be able to do that with Kate, I know Youth, Wendy with, with, uh, with Carrie, right. The ability to. Be sharing this experience of wherever we are on the path. No one is ever at the same place at the same moment.
But to be able to have meaningful conversations, I think that’s why we say, say community is so important in this. Cuz when you have a place where you can have conversations like that is certainly fuels a growth. I know I cut you off. Yeah. No, no, no. I got excited about that. The more we tune into that, the more.
Those kind of people show up in our lives. Right? Right. Like it’s, when you commit the universe conspires with you, it conspires with you. It’s a, it’s a nice view. It’s a nice view of the world. Right? Yeah. So I think, I think those pieces, you, you can start to look and say, how do I craft my work, my career, my, my, my approach to introduce more of the things you want?
And the other thing is to bring them forward in. . Right, right. Carrie and I, you know, with this whole like farm thing we got happening now, a lot of that was a reflection of conversations we were having about what, well, what we would do once the kids had moved away. Right? And that’s, it’s still a ways away.
But then we also started to talk about, well, how could we move some of those pieces forward in time? Why are we waiting? Right. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Right. There were easy things we could start to do in terms of our day-to-day about being more outside, right? We’re in a small suburban neighborhood in kind of downtown Ottawa do doing things, but we started to embrace pieces of that more and more and it, I think it starts to ready us as we start to take even small steps towards it.
So, you know, and that really, I think, laid the groundwork for this and then, then it really became, Why would we wait? Like how, what could we introduce right now? Right? Because we’d say, well, we can’t do that because there’s always a million reasons why you can’t do things, and that’s okay. We also need some powerful reasons about why we can, but if you can’t do the whole thing, do part of a thing, do something, do something, yeah.
Do anything. Well, not anything but do something. If you’re, if you’re listening to this and, and you’re not sure about what, you know, how, what step to take, I’d say the first thing you need to do is get off the. Get off your phone and start experimenting with life. Start engaging with real life. Uh, the, the sitting beside a divi behind a device and engaging with other people’s lives while yours is neglected, is a terrible waste.
I think, uh, you’re too precious. You’re too right. You’re, you’re too important. You’re worth too much. There’s so much to be experienced. And again, you’re not gonna figure this all out overnight, but little bit. I, I love my, one of my favorite new phrases is little bit by little. Slowly by slowly, slowly, yeah.
You start to add one more thing, one more thing you take to start to take one more step until you start to savor and enjoy life more and more. Mm-hmm. , uh, somebody asked me recently, you know, cuz this year, as I’ve said to you guys, has been so transformational. Oh yeah. For me. Yeah. And someone, uh, asked me, well, what’s been the result of all that?
And I said, I am, um, I am the happiest, uh, I’ve ever been. I am the most comfortable in love here in that. Than I have ever been. Uh, joy, uh, gratitude, uh, love. These are not, uh, things I bump into. These are where I live more and more of the time. Uh, I didn’t think this level of serenity, uh, and, and happiness was possible.
And it, it doesn’t mean my life’s perfect. There’s been a number of things that have come along to try to rock me and, uh, in the past would’ve rocked me seriously. And what I found is, again, the ability to. Bounce back quicker and not, uh, be knocked off course as far. Um, and I, I really feel I’m just at the beginning of this.
I know you guys would share the same experience. Yeah. That, that the, the, your life can change, but it, it’ll, it’ll be little bit by little bit slowly by, slowly make the commitment and start taking the steps. You will not regret it. You’ll be the best thing you ever did. And honor those little bits, right.
Celebrate the. Again, we’ve got a culture of so, such a level of accomplishment and the, it’s simpler than that. It doesn’t have to be so complicated. It can be much, much easier and it’s, it is the little things, those little motions, those small steps. You don’t have to take a massive leap. You need to take one small, courageous little step and then another one.
Yeah. Right. That’s all there is to it. That’s it. Hopefully you’re still listening and you haven’t already got off your phone, . Um, and you heard the last little bit of this before you do get off your phone. Uh, I wanna encourage you to, uh, take a moment and share, uh, this episode, uh, with your social networks, with your friends, with people that you feel might, uh, get benefit from it.
Uh, find value. Uh, when you share things, uh, if you want to use the hashtag living richly mm-hmm. , uh, that’s a great way to, uh, connect to others who are on this journey with us. Uh, we always appreciate it. We keep an eye on that and are able to make a connection to you as well. Uh, but would love to have you share, uh, this episode and maybe even in your comments, share one or two things that you have, uh, def that you have discovered.
That, uh, enrich your life. And I’d love to read some of your practical, uh, examples of ways that you are, uh, that you are enriching life. Go to our email@example.com slash act actt. Every episode we are posting resources, tools. We will have for today’s episode, a simple document where you can begin to track what are the things that enrich my life personally, professionally, what are the things that impoverished me?
And any other of the tools or resources that we mentioned today will be found there. And even for past episodes. So you want, you’re gonna want to bookmark. If you’re following the, uh, this podcast, you’re gonna want to bookmark that site. That is a place where you’re gonna find all the resources we make available to you and a link to this excellent.
Now? Yes. Now let me correct an earlier statement. Yes, please do subscribe. the . You Thank. Let’s thank you for correcting. I feel that that was a fear based response. We’ll bring him back into the podcast. He’s trying him back in. He’s trying. He’s trying to get Steve not to edit him Getting voted off the episode.
Voting off the island. Exactly. All right. Stick with us. Stick with us. Yeah. Thank you so much for joining us on the Journey and until next time, we, uh, we really do hope that you will be part of, uh, the conversation.