The Victory Mindset: Transforming Trials into Triumphs with Special Guest Janine Charron

The Victory Mindset with Janine Charron

Janine Charron [00:00:01]:
After going through divorce, bankruptcy, and breast cancer, each one of those transitions and traumas really cracked me from the inside out. And with each crack, I got closer and closer to my authentic self. I was very successful, a lot of achievements. I just really loved who I am now, and it’s just more of, like, a gratitude, right, of and that’s the beauty of the season of silence, which breast cancer gave me that gift. It really forced me to sit with myself and see the ugly dark sides. I’m just so proud of myself first staying committed to get to this other side.

Rob Dale [00:00:42]:
We often envy the lives Zavath, please. But what happens when it comes crashing down? Today, we’ve got a special guest who went from a career as a pro hockey player, and then all of a sudden, a shift and went through some pretty dark days, a divorce, bankruptcy, the battling with breast cancer, and she has lived to tell the tale and has not only survived, but thrived as a result. It’s so great to have you with us, Janine, and, welcome To the Living Richly podcast.

Janine Charron [00:01:11]:
Yeah. Thank you. Excited to be here.

Rob Dale [00:01:12]:
It’s, so, of course, you and Wendy know each other, and you’ve, been connected prior to today. And So was

Janine Charron [00:01:18]:
that on a plane.

Rob Dale [00:01:19]:
Yeah. You’ve been on a plane or 2?

Wendy Dodds [00:01:21]:
Story there. Yeah.

Rob Dale [00:01:23]:
So maybe let’s I wanna just jump right into this, to the story of yours. Had a chance to we’ve been connected on social media for a number of years and watched some of that, but But here you are. You go from, again, playing talk about just the playing pro hockey to all of a sudden going through So many of these Yeah. Life upheavals, challenges. Maybe walk us through a little bit of what that journey was like for you.

Janine Charron [00:01:47]:
Yeah. I mean, growing up, I was, everything was rose colored to me. I was just an I’m a naturally innate happy person. So when I would see some of my teammates Go through stressful times. That didn’t ever occur to me. Like, I’d play the game if we lost. Meh. We’re going out to the bar later.

Janine Charron [00:02:01]:
Everything’s rosy, you know, and I I loved people and I loved Sports. But looking back, I realized I really thrived in structure and routine. And I like, literally, you just got to show up and play the game you love. And then After my playing had stopped a little, it was kind of like, holy shit. What what do I do now? Now I’m in charge of my schedule. You’re basically told when to eat what to eat. Like, don’t ever feed me chicken parm. I never wanna eat it again.

Janine Charron [00:02:27]:
But the structure part. Right? And then you’re thrown into the world and you’re like, Oh, really? This is all I’ve ever known.

Rob Dale [00:02:34]:
So what was, as as you started to navigate that and, of course, you’re You’re dealing with lack of structure. And I know that you do a lot of work now even with pro athletes and others that are coming out of professional sports, with life after whatever their role is. I I know you’ve had you’ve had conversations with coaches and former coaches and other players and all of that. What is that like to go from the spotlight to not having any of that in your place?

Janine Charron [00:03:03]:
Yeah. I mean, it it really is an identity issue for us athletes. I have had Chris Pronger on 19 years in the NHL. I’ve had Claude Julien on as a coach, he even talks about his struggles behind closed doors, Mark Mathaugh, and it really is when the cheering stops. We’re so validated by our as an athlete. Like, the name on the back of the jersey carries you through your entire life. You get recognized in the grocery store. You get you know, you’re doing autograph signing, the men even more in the NHL versus what I did, but we still did it, and I thrived off of it.

Janine Charron [00:03:33]:
So when that’s stripped away, it’s like a layer is taken off and then you’re Bose, it’s almost like you’re naked to the world. Right? And you need to recreate who you are. So the identity issue is really big, and the one piece of advice that I would love everyone to know is Sports are what you do. They’re not who you are. And if our younger athletes can start to adapt to this men mindset now, They’re gonna thrive so much later when they face those transitions.

Rob Dale [00:03:58]:
Yeah. We talk a lot about identity, and we talk on the on the show. And we certainly have, many conversations around the notion of you are not what you do, and then it’s finding that for yourself and being able to figure that out. How would you define victory when when you look at where you are

Janine Charron [00:04:16]:
now, where you were? Yeah.

Rob Dale [00:04:17]:
Well, throughout the stages, because I imagine it would’ve changed for you.

Janine Charron [00:04:21]:
I have very strong masculine energy. I am like a bull in a china shop, and I always have been. And when I really look back at my achievements, literally I mean, growing up, my mom I remember making the bed with her, and I talked about this in my TED Talk. And we’re putting the base sheets on the bed, and I remember I was on the left side and she was on the right, and my mom said to me, Janine, don’t be afraid to take risks. I never took enough risks. But little did she know that piece of advice was gonna stick for with me forever because the years that followed, I literally landed a full scholarship to the University of New Hampshire, became the assistant captain, division 1 ice hockey, graduated Dean’s List with a bachelor of science business marketing, went on to play in the National Hockey League, ran two half Marathons, a full marathon, throw in a sprint triathlon, and then I lost 30 pounds in 8 weeks, to compete in a bodybuilding figure competition where I took 1st place and 1st overall. Like, literally, when I look back, I have muscled my way through life, and that was my superpower. Sports were my was my superpower.

Janine Charron [00:05:21]:
As soon as I felt any type of defeat, I gave myself a goal. And then my external validation is coming through, and I’m getting it from spades. Everyone, you’re the champion, so you’re getting all that love. And it really Chuck me, when I look back, I’m like, oh, that was something that was a cape that I was wearing. That was my bag of tricks. Right?

Wendy Dodds [00:05:36]:
Yeah. Yeah. And then you’ve got the mindset piece That kinda ties into that. So if you if you think about all of those things that you just listed, how did your mindset Play into that evolution of going through all of that.

Janine Charron [00:05:49]:
Yeah. Well, I don’t I didn’t have the awareness that I do now. Like, after going through divorce, bankruptcy, and breast cancer, Each one of those transitions and traumas really cracked me from the inside out. And with each crack, I got closer and closer to my authentic So, like, I’ve I wish I loved myself now the way I was in my twenties. I look back and I kinda cringe, a little bit louder. Always, like, kind of, Look at me when I look back. Not trying to be, but that was my personality. Makes me cringe a little now.

Janine Charron [00:06:18]:
But yeah.

Wendy Dodds [00:06:18]:
I think we can all relate to that Yeah. Going back when we were younger.

Rob Dale [00:06:22]:
Yeah. You you talk about, that, you you know, the, you know, the clinking through and getting to that place of that acceptance. We, We use the language of radical self acceptance on, on the show here, and we talk about it oftentimes. What is that what would when I say radical Self acceptance. What does radical self acceptance look like for you?

Janine Charron [00:06:41]:
Yeah. I mean, when you say that, I just actually was covered in chills. I feel emotional about it because I’ve been doing so much work. Oh, I’m going to get emotional. I’ve been doing so much work behind closed doors. I didn’t expect this to happen. Sorry. That’s good.

Janine Charron [00:06:58]:
And I just feel sad for my younger self. I was very successful, a lot of achievements. I just really love who I am now, and it’s just more of, like, a gratitude, right, of and that’s the beauty of this season of silence, which breast cancer gave me that gift. It really forced me to sit with myself and see the ugly dark Besides and they’re not even ugly. I shouldn’t even use that word. It was more, just what was keeping me stuck. But I always had this feeling that I was made for more. And then I’m just so proud of myself for staying committed to get to this other side because it’s like this beautiful space, and nobody wants to sit with it.

Janine Charron [00:07:38]:
And if everyone was just willing to do the work, Look at the heart work, not muscle your waist through, not the all the other stuff. It’s a really gratifying, peaceful state. And then you look around the world, and now I see so many people, they’re rushing through their day or they’re honking and they don’t, like, open the door, pick up the garbage. It might not be yours, but it’s Your planet like, why aren’t we all contributing to the collective consciousness? And it just when you have that bird’s eye view, you can’t see it when you’re in it. And I get it. And so I have sympathy and compassion for For people, when I see where they’re at and I recognize, like, where an ego is present or they’re operating from just an old System that has carried them through their lives, I can compassionately, empathetically see them and not feel the need to correct them. I feel like sometimes when we are always correcting each other, We’re still growing ourselves, and we wanna be heard and be the professor kind of. And it’s like, that’s the last thing anyone needs when they’re going through that shit.

Janine Charron [00:08:28]:
Right? Yeah. So I just feel like you just I don’t know. You just cracked my heart while you’re open. I wasn’t expecting that. But yeah. It’s just a calmness. It’s a very it’s like this No inner peace when there’s all this chaos going around you, but a calmness and a like, I feel like my roots are just firmly planted, and I they’re just growing down. Mhmm.

Janine Charron [00:08:47]:
Yeah. Yeah. I think, one of the

Wendy Dodds [00:08:49]:
things that I love that you just said is the season of silence. Let me

Rob Dale [00:08:53]:
ask you. I’m glad you jumped.

Wendy Dodds [00:08:54]:
Yeah. Yours was very much a forced season of silence Yeah. Where you had no choice but to, Sit with all of that discomfort as you went through that entire journey, and we have we just talked about this in one of the last episodes we recorded around how uncomfortable it is for people to Did in that because we’re so used to the rush rush rush, go go go, Amazon Prime, I need it in 24 hours, and we don’t allow ourselves that opportunity to just sit and be, and that’s really where a lot of our growth happens. And that’s been very hard.

Janine Charron [00:09:29]:
Overnight. No. And everybody wants it right away. And like like you said, it’s not like Amazon Prime, and that’s one thing I really realized with my husband. I would come into the kitchen and I’d be like, I don’t know what’s happening. It’s not working. And I’d be, like, bawling my eyes, and he’s like, I don’t think this stuff is working, but Look. This is the process.

Janine Charron [00:09:45]:
This is the this is walking through your shit, and it’s emotional, and you’re gonna feel kind of crazy, and it’s up and down. And then, like, one day you just wake up and you’re him or her. You’re you stepped into this future self that you and that’s the whole, like, who do you wanna be, but how do you wanna feel? And when you make those choices in your day to day habits and rituals Yeah. And you are that person, you just wake up 1 and you’re like, holy shit.

Rob Dale [00:10:07]:
Eric Eric, Eric talks about, when and when their whole really, this living richly model that we have was something that Was birthed out of work that we were all do Eric was doing myself and and, and our other business partner, we we we were working on. But, he talks about the notion of when this all of a sudden, one day, just it dropped like this lead and all this it it wasn’t like that moment was The done moment, but it was the journey of all this work suddenly just landed, and there was and and he would I I can remember the text Stop mourning from him. He’s like, dude, and he’s just. Right? Well, as

Janine Charron [00:10:43]:
you’re talking, I chill I could feel chills. Yeah.

Rob Dale [00:10:45]:
And and it’s and it’s you’re so right. It’s it’s, one of the things that if I can encourage those of you that are even watching or listening is is allow that time. Allow that stop being in such a rush to figure it all out, And let the journey just unfold as it needs to unfold step by step, little by little, as you start to experience that. And that’s exactly what would would have been Run for you.

Janine Charron [00:11:07]:
And the world receives you. So my big the my big takeaway with with my TEDx talk is life’s currency is showing up. Mhmm. And I do believe, you know, magic happens when you do this type of work because life shows up for you because you show up for it meets the effort that you put in. So if I go 80, the world goes 80. If I Go a hundred, you get a hundred. And, it’s like your body, treat it like a garbage can. It’s not gonna work.

Janine Charron [00:11:30]:
It’s not you’re when you treat people with care and compassion, they show up for you. Right? When you challenge yourself to learn new skill sets and new ways of thinking, life shows up for you. So I don’t believe it’s time or money. This is the true currency that, As humans, we we value, and, I’m sure I know your your story is quite intense Yeah.

Wendy Dodds [00:11:48]:
Through that. And the currency around that, because we’re all parents Yeah. Here.

Janine Charron [00:11:52]:
And

Wendy Dodds [00:11:53]:
I the the currency around that and having our children see us walk through those journeys, having our children See us cry

Janine Charron [00:12:03]:
Mhmm.

Wendy Dodds [00:12:04]:
Go through the hard times, not always put on a brave face, know that it’s okay when we’ve Fuck things up when we’re not on the right path, that we’re changing paths, and I just think it’s such a powerful lesson because there is no free app Ever that can teach you what that kind of life experience is and being able to pass that down because you’re an amazing mom. I know you got 3 littles.

Janine Charron [00:12:27]:
And I just think that’s say I work too much.

Wendy Dodds [00:12:30]:
But I just think it’s such a great lesson as parents that we’re able to Pass on to our kids.

Janine Charron [00:12:36]:
That’s right. I remember when you were going through your journey and going through the hardship, and I was, like, so proud of you from the outside because I know you’ve got 2 strong girls, you know, watching every move, and I was like, yeah, Webby. I was secretly cheering you on just because It takes a lot of bravery and courage to go through that. Right? And to make that because then it’s one thing to make the decision, but then you have to sit with all the baggage that comes up and the The emotions and the all the things. Yeah. And it’s powerful for your kids to see you do that because Yeah. They’re gonna go through their own journey one day. Right?

Wendy Dodds [00:13:05]:
I just think it’s such a great lesson for, Or, you know, any parent that’s listening around be okay with being uncomfortable, be okay with let your kids see that because that is just such a great Learning tool for them on how to navigate through that. And it’s okay that you don’t have to have it all figured out. Like, I told my oldest daughter when we were having some conversations last Sweet. She was upset about something. I’m like, I’m 46, and I still don’t have it all figured out. Exactly. And that’s okay. And and and sailing through those those Highs and lows of days when you’re feeling really great and other days where you’re like, I just can’t make this work or whatever, and letting them Do that as they grow through their journey.

Janine Charron [00:13:44]:
So Yeah. Well, you were talking about worth and feeling enough, and it really is this you know, a lot of us suffer from impostor syndrome. It’s like, who am I gonna do this? But What I’m trying what I’m really trying to reframe in my mind is I mean, obviously, I’ve challenged myself to go through a lot of discomfort. But, like, discomfort and impostor syndrome, let’s Let’s go right at it. Let’s just drive right into it instead of shying away because you wanna get to that other side. It’s the quickest way to go. Right?

Rob Dale [00:14:09]:
That’s so absolutely true. You know, we when we talk about living your best life, when we talk about the whole kind of message of living richly, we we know that there’s sometimes people kinda look at that and go, Oh, that’s easy for you to say when you got your life together, which is why we’ve all taken time, to share our own stories, To share our journey. And and as people listen in on those episodes, they are some of the most, commented on and watched episodes as our is is the as we’ve been as Vulnerable as we can be in the moment as we share our stories. Here you are somebody who is again, you’ve you’ve had the pinnacle of success. You’ve you’ve kinda done what a lot of people would look at and go, man, what a life. And then you go through this trifecta of challenge. Yeah. And, most people, if they had to deal with one of those 3 things as a battle Yeah.

Rob Dale [00:14:58]:
Here you are, you’re dealing with, You know, 3 major challenges, and I’m sure many other challenges. But these 3 major challenge maybe just highlight one of them And talk about, what was is like to go through that? What was that experience like? And I’ll let you pick which one of those

Janine Charron [00:15:13]:
3, or

Rob Dale [00:15:14]:
maybe they all tie together.

Janine Charron [00:15:15]:
Well, I can give you Really shortly quick one of me. So divorce taught me I did exactly what society told me to do. Got went to school, got married, got a job. Bankruptcy taught me to listen to my gut and intuition. I knew we should have never opened that 2nd bar studio. I felt these nudges, ignored the signs completely, And breast cancer taught me to surrender, rest, and reflect, and to slow down, that there is a space that exists where I can be wildly successful, but not at the expense of myself.

Rob Dale [00:15:45]:
Okay. I’m I’m not letting you go on that one, the slow down piece, because You have a lot of energy. Right? You like, yeah. You’re like come in. Yeah. You are here. You’re ready to go. What is that?

Janine Charron [00:15:57]:
That’s So, yeah,

Wendy Dodds [00:15:58]:
can you imagine being

Rob Dale [00:15:59]:
us on

Wendy Dodds [00:15:59]:
a plane at 6 AM in the morning?

Rob Dale [00:16:02]:
No. No. 6 AM.

Janine Charron [00:16:03]:
To Arizona.

Rob Dale [00:16:04]:
Plane with the 2 of you on I mean, I’m grabbing a parachute, and I was

Janine Charron [00:16:07]:
just in the back of the plane because we would not stop bagging.

Rob Dale [00:16:11]:
So yeah. And and and, certainly, listen, I I’ve gotten to know, as I’ve gotten to know Wendy and and, in her and my life, she is also somebody I laughed yesterday at the gym, because she gets in and she does the opening at the gym, and she’s again this, help.

Janine Charron [00:16:26]:
And I lead why have I got your day?

Rob Dale [00:16:28]:
I lead to 2 people that were standing next To me, and I said, 5 minutes ago, she was saying, I don’t wanna get out of bed. Right? Like, it’s just

Wendy Dodds [00:16:36]:
Situational Sure, Bert.

Janine Charron [00:16:38]:
Professionally, you turn it on. Right? Like, when I was going through my bankruptcy, I remember bawling my eyes out in the back where we were parked in the back of the building, full class, and I just Wipe my tears off, walked in, and I was I’d try I I to me, that was being professional. I wasn’t faking it. I just the guests that we’re coming to my fitness studio at the time. It’s not their job to cuddle me and take care of me. It they’re paying to come have an experience at my studio. It wasn’t the right time or place. So that, to me, was being professional, not Not authentic, but yeah.

Janine Charron [00:17:04]:
And then get back in the car and cry the whole way.

Rob Dale [00:17:06]:
So let’s go back to this, whether it’s the I love that you highlighted the word silence from what you said before or this pause and reflect. How does the energy person step back? What what are some of the things that you do to allow yourself Those moments of pause and reflection.

Janine Charron [00:17:24]:
I love the early morning. It’s like my most favorite time. I call them my magic mornings, where I will get up. I will journal first because I need to get out all the ideas that are circling on my head, and then I will meditate, and then I will journal what came up in my meditation. I I used to just Meditate then journal, but I realized I couldn’t drop into my heart center fast as fast as I could is when I got and when I, like, What’s her name? Gabby Bernstein says rage on the page. So I forget it all out. Fuck Greg. He was such an asshole yesterday or whatever’s coming up for me Love you, Greg.

Janine Charron [00:17:57]:
No. I’m just kidding, honey. No. But, like, whatever but that’s just human nature, natural. Whatever frustrations, I get it out, and then I I light my candles, And I’ve got a few crystals, Greg. And when the crystals came in the house, he was like, I think we’re taking this a little bit too far. And then I’ll meditate. And I’ve gone anywhere from, like, 10 to 70 minutes.

Janine Charron [00:18:17]:
And I just and I really realized it’s not about the length of meditation. It’s the consistency. Uh-huh. So showing up, Even if it’s 5, 10 minutes, you drop in so much quicker and you have so much more. So I’ll write, meditate, write, and then move my body before I check my phone.

Rob Dale [00:18:30]:
Isn’t it fascinating? Because we just had this conversation and and to hear her you talk about those rituals, morning rituals, and how It just seems like yeah. And it just seems like no matter who we speak with Yeah. That those practices are not

Janine Charron [00:18:45]:
their stuff. 3 children and a dog. I mean and then stuff comes up. Come 5 o’clock, last thing I’m thinking about is wanting first of all, you’d get no quiet time in the house because everyone’s do going to sports or whatever. So I and you really have to create a space and an environment that feeds that side of you. So, like, I made, like, a nice little Spot in front of them, I turned on my fire pit, and, you know, I got the candles. I went to, like, a it’s called on, an other world treasure Treasure? I don’t know. It’s a it’s a shop down near across from the downtown, anyways, where it’s got crystals.

Janine Charron [00:19:18]:
And I really let myself kinda be guided and tap into the spiritual Jewel side. And I made it a place that I was excited to go to. You can’t just sit in a dark hole in your basement and feel inspired. Right? So I had to change my environment. That was step 1. So that I could step into that energy that because my energy is huge. So if there’s No. Yeah.

Janine Charron [00:19:37]:
If the guy was like, you are like Lightning Bolt, you need to sit in pink Himalayan salt every night before you go to bed. I was like, okay. Greg said, what are you doing now? I was like, pink Himalayan salt, Billy Laden Bolt. But looking back, I see how I’ve unwinded this really tight. And that’s why, like, 2 we know, as a society, we get, what, 2 weeks vacation or depending on people’s jobs. Yeah. That’s not enough to unwind. So if you’re not doing a daily practice of some sort to help unwind yourself, no wonder people are walking around angry, I was burnt out, frustrated.

Janine Charron [00:20:06]:
They have no bandwidth. We can’t like, they’re pouring, but they’re trying to pour from an empty cup. Yeah. And so in this Process of getting silent, like, I couldn’t muscle my way through breast cancer. So walking and meditation became my alliances. And then, Like, I’ve probably filled 7 journals since that that when I decided that year. Like, I remember as someone who is so fit And so strong, I remember looking in the mirror and just not even recognizing the girl looking back at me, and it was like, I no one’s coming to save you. When we’re in the dark place, we want the light to come, but no one’s coming.

Janine Charron [00:20:37]:
You’ve gotta create that space for you. So the morning routine to me is Everything.

Wendy Dodds [00:20:41]:
You just gave me chills thinking about that.

Janine Charron [00:20:43]:
Oh, because you’ve

Wendy Dodds [00:20:43]:
been there. I’ve been there, but my, one of my daughters is going through some stuff right now, and I Just had that same conversation with her. No one is coming to save you, not in a way of being unsupportive, but At the end of the day, we’re all responsible for our decisions, our actions, our behaviors. Yes. We can have be open to that guidance, but nobody can Force us to go through that. So you creating that environment, I love that you were so intentional Because a lot of times, and I’m I know you’ve heard this before, people will be like, I’ve tried meditating. It doesn’t work. Yeah.

Janine Charron [00:21:18]:
But where are you meditating?

Wendy Dodds [00:21:19]:
Where are you meditating? I’ve tried journaling. It doesn’t work for me. Yeah. I’ve tried reading. I’m not a reader. And it’s you just set the stage perfectly on, Are you creating your environment? Are you being intentional? And I love that you mentioned your phone because

Janine Charron [00:21:34]:
Mhmm.

Wendy Dodds [00:21:34]:
Everybody uses their phone as an alarm. Everybody has their phone right beside them. It is So habitual to just pick up your phone, start scrolling the ‘gram, looking

Janine Charron [00:21:42]:
at everything else, and that’s can be spiritual suicide. Like, it literally is 100%. It’s calling your name like, one thing I did is I hid and I I work with a lot of athletes, so I asked them to put their social media notifications on, like, the 2nd or 3rd page and put them in a folder. So when you first open your phone, it’s not like red, red, red, red, red. Right? That’s instant anxiety triggering. And then now I’m I’ve lost my priorities, and I’m on to what everybody else needs. But so you gotta prioritize yourself 1st, and then my cup’s full. Guess what? You end up having the best day.

Janine Charron [00:22:11]:
You can roll with it. There’s room for spontaneity because you’re not like, shit, I gotta go to the gym. I never worked my body. Oh, now I’m experiencing shame because I didn’t read. I didn’t journal. I say I wanna do this, but so you’re out of you’re feeling this tug of war on the inside and this constant so if If you’re very intentional, you can get you can you don’t have to do a long time. Dude, 10 minutes, 10 minutes, 10 minutes, 10 minutes.

Wendy Dodds [00:22:30]:
So let’s talk about that. Yeah. Your morning routine Mhmm. Now, You know, it might be different for some people, and maybe yours is different too where some days you have more time than but on average, what would you say? Like, what time do you wake up in the morning? Yep. And how long is your routine?

Janine Charron [00:22:43]:
Yes. I like I mean, sometimes I just at 4:30, my eyes pop open. I’ve been really kinda trusting my own internal clock. And, actually, it’s funny when you lean into that, your body just naturally wakes up. So anywhere sometimes I mean, I’ve gotten up at 3:33 before. I get really weird numbers in my life. Like, I’m, like, 111, 222, but I just get up because I’ve I’ve been told from some podcasts that I’ve listened to, it that it’s like when spirit is strongest, when the whole world is kind of quiet Mhmm. Around us, so the energy’s not so So I would tap in early.

Janine Charron [00:23:11]:
So let’s just say let’s be realistic. 5 AM most consistently if I’m not just waking up on my own. We’d journal, meditate, journal, Go to the gym, and then I’m home to help the kids get their lunches together, get them out the door. But then I’ve I mean, they’ve done a lot in little period. Yeah. If I have time, I’ll I’ll I’ll put the reading in, like, a bath time at night. One thing I’ve realized, I’ve always been really great at the morning routine, but then I had to start creating a nightly routine as well. And it’s also this intentional planning.

Janine Charron [00:23:37]:
Like, really successful people are highly intentional. Setting boundaries, like, You know, kinda starting to say no, and I was a yes girl. I I didn’t like to ruffle the feathers. I didn’t like to avoid a conflict like the plague, and now I can have the difficult conversation or just say, No. It is a complete sentence. Right? Yeah.

Rob Dale [00:23:54]:
We talk about it all the you are the author of your story. Mhmm. And you get to write the the the chapters. Right? And and and, Again, the notion no one else is coming to save you. You are the one that gets to set those boundaries, determine all this, and often the biggest go back to what that is. The reason why we don’t do those things is because we don’t have that internal ex this the radical self acceptance, The idea that I am good enough as I am, and I’m okay. And and when we when we first accept ourselves, then we can start to say no Oh, to all of us.

Janine Charron [00:24:28]:
Well, and it doesn’t happen it doesn’t happen like that, though. So everyone wants confidence, but confidence is built in the uncomfortable stages. Right? You can’t just plug in. But what I do believe is, For me, wholeheartedly, I truly believe I’m empowered by the human spirit. Like, that is I’ve always had big feelings. I’ve always. And that’s why I think I’ve been really good at at getting over adversity because no matter what happens to me, I don’t I mean, trust me, I’ve had dark days or I haven’t gotten out of bed or I’ve had periods where I drank too much and just was avoiding dealing with it or whatever. I’ve done it all.

Janine Charron [00:24:58]:
Trust me. I am by no means Perfect. But I keep showing up.

Rob Dale [00:25:03]:
Well, I’m really nervous because I really appreciate, I am going to be reaching out to Greg and asking him to go for, Beers, because, you know Oh,

Wendy Dodds [00:25:13]:
the stories he could tell.

Rob Dale [00:25:14]:
Yeah. Oh, I can imagine. I already know. But because I can I can already picture there’s going to be a part of our house now where Wendy’s like, hey? We need to make a crystal room and a soul room and all of this. Right? We’re gonna be doing this. But that that ties into the power of and the importance of, I guess, is actually the word I should use, the importance of the community, The people you surround yourself, whether it’s a significant other, whether you’re, you know, some people that are listening, they have that, they’re trying to learn how to live richly as a couple. In other cases, they might be single. They haven’t found that person yet.

Rob Dale [00:25:44]:
But so whether it’s that significant other or your community of friends, talk to me a little bit about the importance of The community you have and you surround yourself with to helping you live out the life that you’re wanting to live out.

Janine Charron [00:25:57]:
Well, I didn’t see See it when I was younger, but what I can see very clearly now, because if your belief is lower or you haven’t healed some past trauma, It’s you don’t have the willpower to say no. And if your environment is negative or you can easily it’s like somebody wants to stop drinking. If you’re, I mean, now if somebody I mean, that’s not my issue, but if any if I can say no like, I was at an event yesterday. It’s a perfect example. And we were speaking and they were handing out drink tickets, But I knew I had a very busy day today. Normally, that would be like a, oh, but we’ll have a glass of wine. It won’t bug you. But I was like, no.

Janine Charron [00:26:27]:
You are on this mission to this. That 1 glass of wine is not gonna make you feel good today. And there was no question in my mind. I didn’t feel bad about it. There was no back talk. My younger self would have been, like, because I love to be the life of the party. Yeah. Surprise, surprise.

Janine Charron [00:26:39]:
Yep. Right? But I really think because when people have not done the healing work, they don’t have the willpower. So if your environment is negative, you’re gonna get sucked in no matter you could say no 50 times, you’re gonna say yes on 51. Because if you have that asshole friend that keeps peer pressuring you because their self esteem is so low and doesn’t see your worth. It’s just a vicious cycle. That’s not that’s not it’s not easy to divorce your family or friends. It’s not an easy place Because when we’re younger, it’s all about attachment. Yeah.

Janine Charron [00:27:05]:
And we will abandon authenticity for attachment every single time if we have not developed these skill sets. It’s just Human nature. I’ve listened to psychology podcasts about it, and so if somebody is still needing that attachment, They will kick cave in every time. So surrounding yourself with great people, how do you do that? If you’re constantly in the same routine, I would recommend do something different. Go to a new event. If you’re a reader, join a book club because you’re gonna meet like minded people that most likely you’re gonna have a similar mindset than you. Right? So or Or if you’re just trying to explore, like, get out, try something, get dance group, whatever. You love dancing if that’s a passion of yours, whatever.

Janine Charron [00:27:42]:
Art, Hiking, those people are gonna have some sort of connection with you, and they’re gonna give you an outside perspective. And our world wants us like, unfortunately, I don’t think people intend for you to be small, but their light is dimmed, so they don’t want if you shine too bright, it makes them feel nervous and you’re gonna change, and now you’re gonna rattle their world. They don’t mean to, but it’s by default that they react to it. Right?

Rob Dale [00:28:02]:
Yeah.

Janine Charron [00:28:02]:
Because I’ve definitely gotten a lot of feedback. Well, as I’ve gone through these steps to my ascension, spiritually, I’ve definitely been like, who are you to be a speaker?

Rob Dale [00:28:10]:
Who are you? Right.

Wendy Dodds [00:28:12]:
Yeah. And and going through everything that you’ve gone through, you’ve, I don’t wanna assume, but you’ve probably seen some of those relationships, friendships, community shift as you

Janine Charron [00:28:25]:
well, I’ve Seeing friendships that I’ve used to feed the negative side of myself as well. Like, we call the friend that we want to say what we wanna hear. Right? Or it’s like, I know. I’m not gonna call Oh, Chantal, because she’s gonna tell me like it is. I’m gonna call Sarah because she’s gonna tell me this is a great idea. Yes. Right? Yeah. Until we have that honest conversation.

Janine Charron [00:28:42]:
And I always say, like, I have I have my, a formula of steps where, that people go through in order because I find a lot of people don’t know we hear all these great motivating conversations. Actually, here. One sec. But we don’t know how to navigate it. I actually created this for my talks. And step number 1 is surrender. So, like, I always tell people, Let’s pick the 1 area of your life that you’re struggling with. Yep.

Janine Charron [00:29:06]:
K? Let’s acknowledge it. Let’s just surrender. It is what it is. And then we go into introspection. Right? So let’s reflect on whatever it is that’s bugging you. So And from there, you go to follow the nudges. So I don’t find I find we are so our our world is so busy that we don’t tune in to the whispers of our soul. Right? Yeah.

Janine Charron [00:29:29]:
Those internal nudges, and that’s what led me to my TED Talk. That’s what led me to everything that I’m doing now. And then you take action, releasing control is the big one. We are mass manipulators. As humans, we wanna control the outcome so badly. Think about when you try to text someone and they don’t respond, you’re like, well, I’m just gonna, like, maybe like them on Facebook and then find them on Instagram. And you’re like, what? It’s been 2 days. Why haven’t they? Yeah.

Janine Charron [00:29:52]:
And it’s like, I’ve taken, like, a bird’s eye view. I’m like, oh my god. That was, like, 5 stage Klingon. Why did you reach out to that person so many times? Right? But we try to control, and that is what kills manifestation, I truly believe, every time. And then leaving room in your schedule for magic. There’s no room for spontaneity if you’re back to back to back to back. There’s no magic. There’s no, like, no.

Janine Charron [00:30:12]:
You know what? I have an extra hour. My gut is saying go left instead of right to that next meeting, and then I keep showing up. So those are the 7 steps that I always, share with people, but and that has to be something that you do over and over and over again. And when we just consistently show up Yeah. Life shows up

Rob Dale [00:30:31]:
for you.

Wendy Dodds [00:30:32]:
Life shows up and and your community shows up. Yes. Like attracts life.

Janine Charron [00:30:36]:
Everybody wants to have a great community, but no one wants to be a good neighbor. What’s with that? Yeah. Right? Yeah. Like, if you pick go help your neighbor. If they need if you see them struggling with their their laneway, shovel it for them. Like, you see garbage, pick it up.

Rob Dale [00:30:49]:
Yep. It’s amazing how so many of these lessons have been lessons that we’ve they’re they’re obvious to us. Right? What the our parents used to say, you wanna be a good or you want you want good friends, be a good friend. Right? This idea of

Janine Charron [00:31:00]:
It’s a movement.

Rob Dale [00:31:01]:
You show up is what will come back to you. Absolutely. I think we we all believe that. Talk a bit about, mindset. Because I know that’s a lot of where you go in your talks and that the what you challenge. We had, one of the most powerful ex Ben Bergeron. And, again, I really Encourage if you haven’t, to take a look at his book, Chasing Excellence, because it is a book around mindset and and, and mindset among, elite athletes. And and, but he talks about one of the most, again, I’ve shared this a number of times on the episode, and we we when he was on, he certainly talked about this, The 5, levels of mindset he he talks about.

Rob Dale [00:31:34]:
He says that there’s the, there’s the victim mindset, which is the lowest level possible, then there’s the pessimist, And he says then there’s the optimist. And a lot of a lot of us wanna achieve the optimist mindset. He says that’s that’s not where we wanna be. He Says the next level up is the realist, and the realist is the one who recognizes no matter what is happening externally.

Janine Charron [00:31:54]:
They’re not attached to their relationships.

Rob Dale [00:31:56]:
To it. It’s not if that’s the it just is. Yeah. It’s and now what are you gonna do about that? And then he says the highest mindset is the warrior mindset. The warrior mindset is bring on the adversity. I’m ready to conquer. I’m ready to challenge. You can’t live in the the warrior mindset, because it’s it takes that extra energy.

Rob Dale [00:32:13]:
So you live in the realist mindset, and when needed, you jump in for challenge into the warrior mindset and then back into

Janine Charron [00:32:20]:
the need.

Rob Dale [00:32:20]:
It’s a really neat idea. So that’s how he unpacks mindset.

Janine Charron [00:32:24]:
I love it.

Rob Dale [00:32:25]:
Maybe just how do you talk about mindset? What do you think of it? When you’re talking athletes and all of that, how do you go Through this notion of mindset. I love that you have props. This is amazing.

Janine Charron [00:32:34]:
This is

Rob Dale [00:32:35]:
really great.

Janine Charron [00:32:35]:
So, I mean, as someone I’ve always Had an attraction towards, like, positive affirmations or, like, I have notebooks that I found when I was younger where I was, like, copying basically, Like, famous sayings, and I was like, oh god. I was doing this at a really young age. Sayings on the wall. I love I don’t work out to music. I work out to, like, like motivational videos.

Rob Dale [00:32:54]:
Okay.

Janine Charron [00:32:55]:
And it’s funny. When I do on my YouTube series where it’s transitioning to life after sports, you know, like, I was talking to my, friend, Kerry Joseph. He’s a coach with the Seattle Tee Hoxie played in the CFL, and he’s like, Janine, I do the exact same thing. And more and more as I talk to these people behind closed doors, they’re constantly feeding that part of them. But when I think about mindset, I have 2 cans here. Right? So we never have control of what’s gonna happen outside of us, but we do have control of what we do in this when you have a strong mindset, Can you squeeze that? Yep. No. External factors, you’re good.

Janine Charron [00:33:27]:
Yep. What if you have a weak mindset and life comes at you, what happens? I get to crush it? No. Yeah. Go, girl. External factors, you are you go right down to that victim mindset, but this is where the warrior lives, right, and the

Rob Dale [00:33:38]:
and

Janine Charron [00:33:39]:
the realist. And I it’s just Such an easy visual that I find.

Rob Dale [00:33:41]:
Great visual.

Janine Charron [00:33:42]:
Yeah. And, a lot of people don’t realize that I even brought you guys I do this too. Sorry. I’m not on your mic here. But, I you’ll notice this is a daily practice. I don’t wake up with a bulletproof head space every day. Some days, it’s harder to get out of bed. Some days, I jump out.

Janine Charron [00:33:59]:
But I have constant affirmations on my body. This one says warrior. It’s a necklace. This one says tiger. That’s my nickname. And my tokens like, I don’t give out business cards. I actually give out tokens, and I brought one for each of you. It’s keep showing up token, but these are my reminders when I’m not because mentally, our emotions can hijack us.

Janine Charron [00:34:18]:
Yeah. And then right? And then you take the wrong action, and you’re out of alignment, and you lose all this time. You you know, it’s like, when you eat 1 donut, might as well eat 24. Let’s not do that. Right? So I use a lot of these little things to keep me into a peak state or remind me. You know?

Wendy Dodds [00:34:34]:
Well and I love the visual aspect of it because as humans, we are very visual, and And those those tangible things that we can hold on to, that we can see, that we can connect with, that we can touch, feel, all that kind of stuff, Ties us back to bringing us back to our roots and what’s important to us.

Janine Charron [00:34:49]:
You towards your vision.

Wendy Dodds [00:34:51]:
Yes.

Janine Charron [00:34:51]:
So it’s like when I speak to some of the young athletes, I I don’t have it on now. I have my but I usually have what’s called a worthy wand on. Have you seen those necklaces? But I’ll gift 1 to someone in the in the crowd because When we’re not healed and we’re good doing the work, we we need that external power to pull us forward, and this pulls me forward. Seeing my like, when I see the word tiger, It’s visceral for me.

Rob Dale [00:35:13]:
Mhmm.

Janine Charron [00:35:14]:
So it’s like, find your word. Find your thing that pulls you forward. I mean, when I did my fitness competition, I cut my head from putting on an oxygen model on the on the fridge.

Rob Dale [00:35:23]:
Yeah.

Janine Charron [00:35:24]:
And, I was like, yeah. Can’t eat that. Nope. Gonna can’t achieve that without that. But, like, whatever We’re a dozen unit. We’ve done vision boards. We talked about all that stuff. So I use those tools when I can’t when you’re growing through this and you can’t internally muster up that courage or that action, You have the external ones to help you out.

Janine Charron [00:35:40]:
Yep. Yeah.

Rob Dale [00:35:40]:
Yeah. And and it’s we had, Olivia Jean, who is a, our Canadian Olympian, speed skater. And he was on the show, and he talked about how, before the Vancouver, why even when he was young, years years Years before he when he was really just starting into speed skating, one of the things that he did is he basically created his own visual of him standing on the PODES, in Vancouver, and there he stood on the podium in Vancouver as a gold medal, Olympian. And that that power of Setting that out there and and making that statement. I know for me, I’ve I’ve got a bunch of tattoos, but I’ve got this one called this grace one, which was the very first tattoo I ever got. And the meaning behind it was significantly different, when I got it done, to what it is today. Today, it’s a constant reminder To show grace to myself and to show grace to others, and to be able to extend that, that sense of of just Stop being so hard on your stuff. Start being so just, like, give yourself some compassion.

Janine Charron [00:36:41]:
Show yourself

Rob Dale [00:36:42]:
some compassion. No.

Janine Charron [00:36:43]:
No or anything like that? No?

Rob Dale [00:36:44]:
No. No. No. I was a minister. Sure.

Janine Charron [00:36:46]:
Minister. Okay.

Rob Dale [00:36:47]:
I was a preacher for a lot of years, and that’s where that initially came out. Yeah. And I was the minister of a bikers church is is, where I Spent a lot of my years, but the notion of coming to that place of of being okay with who I am, that stopped the ability of others to dictate who I am.

Janine Charron [00:37:07]:
Well, a lot of people always ask me, like, what’s the TIGER method? And and it is a mindset and resiliency program. But it stands for Together in Grace Everything Rises. And if you can’t ex it starts first. You can’t ex if you can’t extend grace to yourself, you’ll never extend it to anyone So that’s where this radical self love and self compassion is so key because it starts here, and then it ripples out words. Right?

Rob Dale [00:37:28]:
Yeah.

Janine Charron [00:37:28]:
And, that’s why it’s powerful oops. That’s why it’s powerful for your daughters to see what you went through because that Extension of radical self love to get to that other side that you had to go through. Yeah. You’re modeling it. You could tell it through your blue in the face, but if they see it, that’s way more powerful.

Wendy Dodds [00:37:43]:
Yeah. Yeah. Well and same with your kids too, right, without everything that you’ve gone through.

Janine Charron [00:37:46]:
For sure.

Rob Dale [00:37:47]:
We tell ourselves a lot of stories. Right? We create a ton of stories. What’s one Story that you had to rewrite to become who you are today. Oh, how’s that for a deep Russian

Janine Charron [00:38:01]:
with you? Deep one.

Rob Dale [00:38:02]:
When you think Of of all the stories that we’ve told and, you know, and I’ll use it for me, for sure, one of those was was that story of I am okay Exactly as I am. One of my big super scripts was that everyone I I welcome into my everyone I embrace or hold close to leaves. And I went through a lot of it. And, again, I shared this in my story. I had a I had a you know, my family is a there’s lots of death. There’s lots of people that have Of God, my mom passed away from breast cancer. I had a daughter who died. I had a number of situations that went on in my life, and I had this script that I can’t let anyone in.

Rob Dale [00:38:36]:
And so I would I would for as long as that script held

Janine Charron [00:38:40]:
true Mhmm.

Rob Dale [00:38:41]:
I would as people got close, I sabotage. I would do things in Order to keep protect myself, rewriting that script to say, that’s not true. I’ve got all kinds of people in my life who who love me deeply and I love them deeply, Who haven’t left? I’ve got 2 beautiful daughters. I’ve got incredible friends and and family. And now I’ve got the love of my life. Right? And and these people that are in my life They embrace me and accept, so I rewrote that script.

Janine Charron [00:39:05]:
So Love that.

Rob Dale [00:39:06]:
What about for you? What would be a script?

Janine Charron [00:39:07]:
What was coming up for me when you were speaking was, I’ve always been a really great individual Performer. So as soon as I feel that external threat, I get cold and I shut off, and I don’t let others help or it’s like, I’m so stubborn. Like, my husband’s always like, you’re so Dumber, just let me help you. But this, like, no. I can do it.

Rob Dale [00:39:25]:
I don’t know anyone like

Janine Charron [00:39:26]:
that. Yeah. I’ll show you. And I really recognize when I jump into that ego fire, like, I’m gonna show you. But Now I kind of have the like, I lean into, you know, I’m not okay and I need help with this. And, just because I had built this, like I I had a very strict father growing up, and I I know he loved me the best way that he knew how, but I really recognized throughout my years. I had a lot of stories there about my relationship, with him, And I I definitely got the approval by being a great athlete.

Rob Dale [00:40:01]:
Right?

Janine Charron [00:40:02]:
And then, like, all this achievement and I think that’s more of a Aasculine, like, men or women thing. And I don’t and, again, I don’t think it was it was just the way he knew how, but, that I would close off and I’ll show you. Bye. Fuck the world. Right? You know? Yep. I would just jump right into that, and then I’d close everyone off and not ask for help.

Rob Dale [00:40:21]:
And

Janine Charron [00:40:21]:
now it’s like, okay. Let’s just take a deep breath. Mhmm. We don’t need to feel that. Right?

Wendy Dodds [00:40:26]:
So what would you say would be, Like, the number 1 so for people who are like that, because I think many people kinda struggle with that, what would you say would be the Number 1 tip that you’ve worked on the most to help overcome

Janine Charron [00:40:39]:
that. Yeah. Breathe and take a moment because I’ve really reckon first, you just gotta work on your triggers. So, I mean, I brought my journal just because I’ve literally got, like, 7 of these, but as soon as like, I talked to some of the kids that I coach. As soon as you feel triggered, I want you to answer, where are you, who are you with, and what’s the emotion that’s coming up for you? Because what happens is it’s usually your past trauma that is resurfacing by something that was said too. Right? It’s not necessarily in this moment. You know, my best friend said this, but I immediately wanna Punch you in the face. Yeah.

Janine Charron [00:41:13]:
I don’t want to put that. I just messed up. Love and that made you laugh. But, like, we get triggered all the time, right, as humans? And so it’s like, okay. That’s step 1. We need to do some introspection. You don’t jump through these stages right away. The first part is, like, let’s just develop a little bit of self awareness.

Janine Charron [00:41:29]:
And now I can catch my triggers very quickly. And it’s like, oh, okay. Yep. Just cut that. My husband will say something and I’ll get it’ll irk me to no end, but He’s really triggering a part of me that I know I’m still working on. Right? Yeah. Yeah. So that is where the introspection starts and getting to know yourself.

Janine Charron [00:41:44]:
And I tell people, if you don’t know where to start with journaling, just Google journal prompts. Literally, there’s a gazillion online. So good. And and you can start writing because a lot of people are like, well, where do I write? Where do I start?

Wendy Dodds [00:41:54]:
Yeah. Where do I write? I don’t know what to write. I don’t know what to I remember when I started my very first journal and I share this with some of my clients, I go back and I look at it, and it literally looks like it was written by a 4 year old. Because I didn’t know what to write. You right? I am grateful for my family. I am grateful for my house. Like, that I have a place to but but a lot of people, we get this preconceived notion in our head that it needs to be this Big. Elaborate things.

Wendy Dodds [00:42:19]:
So I love that you suggested journaling prompts because it’s such a great way.

Janine Charron [00:42:23]:
Rage on the page. Like, get that Shit out. That is why you’re I really believe that’s where health problems start. Every one of us is suffering in silence from something we know nothing about. Yeah. And especially with the athletes on my on my YouTube series oh, man. I mean, substance abuse And drug abuse, suffering in silence, especially when you’re someone who is a high achiever, you don’t want the world to see that weaker side of you. And that’s more ego covering up That mass, but real like, there are people that wanna help.

Janine Charron [00:42:53]:
There is community. You are totally normal. You are human. You know, Go to someone that you trust and have that conversation, or start privately in a book and burn it, but get it out. Because right now, your brain like, I think about a filing cabinet, And you can’t close the filing cabinet. There’s all these papers. But in order to we gotta take all the paper out, then we get to pick and choose what stays and the rest can go. So you get it out.

Janine Charron [00:43:15]:
You can even just explaining that, I feel lighter. Right? And you can visualize that. And that’s what people do with their thoughts, but they don’t

Rob Dale [00:43:21]:
We talk, one of the most one of the most profound books, that I’ve read in the last few years is a book called The Untethered Soul. Mhmm. And in The Untethered Soul, one of the things it talks about is that that that Every motion, every feeling we have is it’s an energy. And if you hold in that energy, you but and I could I loved how you are. Your visual was even just it it bottles up, And then it has to get expressed somehow Yep. And it’s expressed usually in unhealthy and negative ways.

Janine Charron [00:43:46]:
Anger, substance abuse, whatever. Yep.

Rob Dale [00:43:48]:
Right? And so the One of the lessons that I’ve learned, one of the most and it’s really only been in the last year that I’ve that I’ve mastered this to whatever degree you can master something, Where when I had these emotions, I’m able to oh, and that oh, that’s interesting is the is the exact words that I say. It’s what I you know, there’s it’s my trigger to Move into that space, and I can let that emotion flow out whether it’s through writing it out or talking, whatever it is. Let it out. Now I can identify it, and I can do something about Yeah. And it’s just getting into that point. So I love what you’re saying.

Janine Charron [00:44:19]:
Well, that’s why you’ll notice on the back of these tokens, it says, stay curious and keep listening. So the curiosity part is get Curious around your reactions.

Rob Dale [00:44:27]:
Yeah.

Janine Charron [00:44:27]:
And the listening part is listening to those internal nudges.

Rob Dale [00:44:30]:
I got 1 more question for

Janine Charron [00:44:31]:
you, Ruiz.

Rob Dale [00:44:32]:
We’re gonna start to land the plane here, and and, I got I got a question for you. What does living richly mean to you? When you hear

Janine Charron [00:44:39]:
authentic to yourself. Saying No. Saying no when you think you should say yes. Declining. Yeah. Anything that doesn’t like, My bankruptcy, I said yes to a 2nd studio even though, viscerally, it was saying no. So and my wish for people is, you know, just Keep showing up. You’re going through some shit.

Janine Charron [00:45:02]:
You have literally everything that you need. It’s just go into that season of silence. It’s okay to disappear for a year. The world will not miss you as much as you think it is, or you won’t miss the world, I should say, or you won’t miss the FOMO of the post or whatever. Seriously, you’ll come back stronger than ever and surpass all your friends. Yeah. Not that that we’re in competition. See, that athlete wanted to come right out there.

Rob Dale [00:45:25]:
That’s awesome. I I thank you. Thank you, Janine, for being here on the show. I have no doubt that we will, I want to have you back and, really to unpack a lot more stuff. For those of you that have been listening, I wanna thank you so much for taking the time to, be, tuning in on this episode. Wanna encourage you just as we always do to make sure that you like and share this episode with those that you think it will really, I support and and resonate with, encourage you to do that. You can come to our website, live in richly.me, where you’ll find all kinds of other resources. We’re gonna have all the links to how you can connect to Janine.

Rob Dale [00:46:01]:
All of that will be in the show notes, so you’ll be able to find all of that there as well. Just again, thank you so much for taking the time to be a part of this, and I encourage you to continue to live your best life.