Get ready to meet two exceptional guests – and our significant others – Kate and Wendy! In this episode, we dive deep into their journeys and the significant hurdles they’ve overcome on their path to self-discovery and Living Richly.
We also explore powerful topics such as people-pleasing, not being true to oneself, living up to the expectations of others, and suffering from imposter syndrome. Wendy and Kate address the fears, insecurities, and feelings of unworthiness common to most people, how these emotions hold us back, and offer insights on how to live your best life. Make sure to tune in to this heartfelt and honest conversation.
To learn more about Wendy, visit https://thereallife.ca
To learn more about Kate, visit https://get2mindset.com
Show Notes for Episode 37
Kate is a single mom of three teenagers, a senior marketing professional with over 20 years of experience in developing brands and bringing them to life, a seasoned entrepreneur, and the creator of the Get2 Mindset – which our listeners have heard much about here on the podcast.
Wendy is a mom of two teen girls and a former corporate HR professional who spent over 17 years supporting Employee Relations. Now deeply immersed in coaching/training in the wellness space since 2014, she is passionate about changing people’s lives and helping them pivot and unleash their full potential, both in a gym setting and with her brand, The Real Life.
Links to Wendy:
Links to Kate:
Key Concepts from Episode 37: Following Your Heart – From Supposed Life to Living Richly
In this episode of The Living Richly Podcast, hosts Eric Deschamps, Rob Dale introduce their significant others, Kate Beere, and Wendy Dodds, sharing their unique journeys and insights on the path to living a rich and fulfilling life.
Throughout the episode, a strong emphasis is placed on the inherent uniqueness of each person’s journey, yet it is also acknowledged that some common themes and struggles connect us all. Themes such as people pleasing, not being true to oneself, imposter syndrome, and living up to others’ expectations are explored, shedding light on the fear, insecurity, low self-esteem, and unworthiness many individuals experience.
Looking ahead to the next episode, they announce that they will focus on couples’ experiences and insights in their quest to live richly. This promises to be a fascinating exploration of partners’ dynamics and challenges on this transformative journey.
To kick off the episode, the hosts invite Kate and Wendy to share a word of encouragement for listeners who are currently struggling to believe in themselves and desire to make a change. Drawing from their experiences and personal growth, Kate and Wendy offer invaluable wisdom and uplifting messages to inspire and motivate others on their paths of self-discovery.
They then turn their attention to Wendy & Kate’s stories. Wendy, who grew up in a loving middle-class family, followed a traditional upbringing and pursued a career in HR for thirteen years. However, she ultimately found herself at a crossroads, experiencing weight issues, anxiety attacks, and a profound sense of being lost. This led her to embark on a journey of self-reflection and self-improvement, ultimately resulting in a complete transformation of her life.
Kate candidly shares her struggles with unhappiness and feeling lost, despite seeming to have a perfect life on the surface. After years of introspection, she found that living with a “get to” mindset, as inspired by a conversation with Tanya, allowed her to appreciate the opportunities and choices in life. Kate’s story reveals the transformative power of shifting perspectives and finding meaning in small, everyday moments.
The episode delves deep into the concept of transformation, highlighting that pain or dissatisfaction can often serve as catalysts for change. However, it is emphasized that not everyone chooses to utilize these hurdles as fuel for growth. The hosts provide advice and encouragement for those feeling unfulfilled, emphasizing the importance of taking control of one’s life, embracing the ups and downs, and pursuing what truly brings happiness.
Personal anecdotes and pivotal moments are shared throughout the episode, underscoring the courage and resilience required to navigate the challenges encountered along the road to living richly. The hosts reflect on their journeys, shedding light on instances where they confronted and overcame their limitations and the expectations of others.
The episode also touches upon the importance of authenticity and vulnerability in connecting with others and building meaningful relationships. Wendy’s genuine enthusiasm for her fitness accomplishments and life’s simple joys resonates deeply, as does her authentic journey toward personal growth. Wendy’s experiences highlight the belief that we are all on this journey together, striving to find our true selves and live a life of purpose.
In conclusion, this The Living Richly Podcast episode gives listeners a heartfelt introduction to Kate and Wendy. Their stories, alongside the insightful discussions and encouragement offered throughout the episode, invite all to embark on their transformative journey toward living a rich and fulfilling life. By embracing vulnerability, self-reflection, and the power of choice, we can each discover our authentic selves and create meaningful connections with others. Let the journey begin.
Episode 37 Transcript
Following Your Heart – From Supposed Life to Living Richly
Eric Deschamps [00:00:01]:
Get ready to meet two of the most influential people who’ve been influencing our lives right from the outset of this podcast and have some really valuable insights to share. That’s coming up next on the show.
Rob Dale [00:00:19]:
Hi, and welcome to the Living Richly podcast. My name is Rob Dale, and I am here with my great friend Eric Deschamps and great friend.
Eric Deschamps [00:00:26]:
I was amazing friend on the last episode.
Rob Dale [00:00:29]:
Eric Deschamps [00:00:30]:
Rob Dale [00:00:32]:
And I’m so excited because we have some absolutely amazing, probably best guests so far, bar none. Best guests ever.
Eric Deschamps [00:00:41]:
Rob Dale [00:00:42]:
Forever. I mean, absolutely. We have talked so much since almost since the very first episode. We have referenced Kate and Wendy and how they have influenced us, and I think we’re starting to get some posts going. Are they real?
Eric Deschamps [00:01:00]:
Are they real? Are these, like, made up people? Right?
Rob Dale [00:01:04]:
Eric Deschamps [00:01:07]:
You’Re so dating yourself right now.
Rob Dale [00:01:09]:
I am. I’m that old.
Eric Deschamps [00:01:12]:
Did you know that Mr. Snuffalopagus didn’t have ears?
Rob Dale [00:01:14]:
I did not know that. Didn’t have ears.
Eric Deschamps [00:01:16]:
It’s a thing.
Rob Dale [00:01:17]:
I will have to look that up. It’s a is we’re real excited, and so we want to, first of all, introduce these special guests, and then we’re going to hear a bit of their story today. And we’re going to have a little bit of fun. I want to introduce to you Eric’s wonderful, most influential person that’s in your life these days, Kate. And Kate is a single mom of three teenagers. She is a senior marketing professional with over 20 years of experience in developing brands and bringing them to life. Seasoned entrepreneur and also the creator of the get to Mindset. If you’re not following get to mindset on Instagram. You need to. It’s just so wonderful. And we’re going to hear a lot about her and her story on the podcast today.
Eric Deschamps [00:02:02]:
Yeah. And I’d love to introduce Wendy. Wendy is Rob’s significant other mom of two teen girls, a former corporate HR professional with over 17 years of experience in employee relations. Now deeply immersed with coaching and training in the wellness space since 2014. She’s crazy passionate about changing people’s lives and helping them pivot unleash their full potential, both in a gym setting with her own brand, the Real Life. Welcome, Wendy. Welcome, Kate.
Kate Beere [00:02:31]:
Thank you. Thanks for having us.
Eric Deschamps [00:02:35]:
Now, I’m not sure who’s more nervous right now. Is it us or is it us?
Rob Dale [00:02:42]:
Just checking in. And even Steve, our producer steve, hey, we haven’t done that in a couple of episodes. We’re forgetting to do we got to.
Eric Deschamps [00:02:50]:
Make sure people know he’s the real.
Rob Dale [00:02:52]:
Steve is also real. And Steve, even when we mentioned to him that we are going to be having you guys on the podcast, he was like, are you sure? Are you sure you want this? And we are. It’s amazing to have you. And now we knew that at this stage, it probably wasn’t a good idea to have all four of us in the same room.
Eric Deschamps [00:03:16]:
Well, mostly because the studio is also.
Rob Dale [00:03:18]:
Because studio is small.
Eric Deschamps [00:03:20]:
That’s the primary reason.
Rob Dale [00:03:21]:
But no, it’s great to have you. Maybe before we’re going to get into your stories and we want to hear from this and maybe Kate, I’ll start with you and Wendy, you could jump in. You’ve been a part of this journey with us since the beginning of the podcast. What’s been one of the things from your perspective that has been kind of like just so interesting to see getting developed as we’ve been going through this. Now 38 episodes of the 37 episodes of the podcast.
Kate Beere [00:03:50]:
It’s exciting. It’s exciting to see you guys bring this to life. It’s exciting to see it evolve to where it is today. It’s exciting to see guests on the show, very excited to be here. I think just the evolution, I think what you guys are doing and living richly, bringing people together, building community, having our conversation from my lens, it’s just exciting and it’s inspiring and I think it’s needed. I think we’re in a world right now that maybe isn’t so optimistic and happy and people are longing for more coming out of COVID and people are scrambling and they’re not sure what they want out of life. And so I think this know a pretty exciting time to be part of what you’re doing.
Wendy Dodds [00:04:35]:
Yeah, I have to jump in and just say going what Kate said. I think it’s just been wonderful seeing you guys just take this to the next level and helping people show up for themselves and really helping people be unapologetic about it, about how to live their best life and how to live their richest life.
Eric Deschamps [00:04:55]:
Yeah. So great. We are curious, I mean, for our listeners, they’ve heard so much about you both. Right. As Rob mentioned at the top of the show, there’s probably every two or three episodes your names get mentioned about your influence in our lives and how much you’ve been a big part of this movement right from the get go. But tell us a little bit about yourself and maybe this time we can start with Wendy. Tell us a little bit about your story, how’d you end up here?
Wendy Dodds [00:05:21]:
Well, I’ll give you the Cole’s notes version of it.
Kate Beere [00:05:24]:
I’m 45, born and raised in Ottawa.
Wendy Dodds [00:05:27]:
I got two teen girls like you guys introduced. I grew up in a loving middle class family. I’m still very close to my parents. I did all of the checkmark things. I finished high school, went to college, did all of those things. My last semester actually in college was an HR course and that’s how I ended up in the HR field and spent the next 13 years doing that. Got married, of course, after college, had my kids. But I always had a really deep desire, passion and drive to serve people, support people. I just didn’t know how to do that. So I had checked off all the boxes. I was doing life feeling like I was doing all the things that I was supposed to do. And then around 2012, things really started to shift. I was struggling significantly with my weight, I was overweight, I was tired, I was having full blown anxiety attacks. I couldn’t show up for my kiddits, couldn’t get out of bed in the mornings. I felt lost. And to be honest, I felt like everyone had their shit together but me. And I just felt like I was on a hamster reel. One of my favorite sayings ever is outward smiles and inward screams. And that’s basically how I was living. So 2014 came massive life shift. I took extreme self reflection and self ownership of myself to the next level. I stopped playing the victim card, started training in fitness, lost weight, but I also lost friends, lost relationships, lost my job, a bunch of things. And then I was unemployed.
Kate Beere [00:07:08]:
And that I really took my life.
Wendy Dodds [00:07:10]:
To the next level on serving people, started working in fitness, launched my own business in work, marketing, and then my other business, which I have both of them today, but real life, and just threw caution to the wind and met my soulmate, my life partner. And together, it’s just been wonderful being on this journey and just taking a deeper dive and really helping and supporting people.
Eric Deschamps [00:07:35]:
That’s amazing. And when did you meet Rob? When did I meet sorry, was that who you’re sorry.
Kate Beere [00:07:43]:
Eric Deschamps [00:07:44]:
Is that who you were referring to when you said soulmate?
Wendy Dodds [00:07:47]:
Kate Beere [00:07:48]:
Eric Deschamps [00:07:49]:
Okay, I’m just clarifying. Clarifying. I was trying to figure out when Rob came into the equation.
Rob Dale [00:07:55]:
All right, so fuck you. Eric and Kate, how about you tell us your story?
Kate Beere [00:08:04]:
Odly enough. Or maybe not odly enough. Wendy and I have a similar story in the sense of sort of pretty happy childhood. Grew up in Ottawa, Alto Vista, had a pretty solid upbringing. I’m 48, I divorced, I have three kids. I lived what I call my supposed life. I think he said, you’re supposed to. For me, it felt very similar. I went to University of Western Ontario, about a degree in economics that I’ve never used in my life, but I have it. I then traveled around Europe. I ended up in Exa Havans, which is in the south of France, and I studied French language skills for a year. And I brought back, which is now my ex husband, but was my future husband at the time. And we spent 17 years together, and it just didn’t work very similar to Wendy. I was just in a space of not really knowing who I was, what I wanted. I wasn’t happy. On the outside, it all looked pretty good. You got the house, three kids, and the car and the jobs, but on the inside I was pretty miserable is the word I would use. And so I took the last I’m going to say eight years trying to really figure out who I am. Haven’t figured it out. It’s still a journey for me. It’s still a path. And I met Eric. I will use your name just so that everyone’s clear, see what she did there last year. And we’ve been on a really great journey, I think, forming just a really strong, happy relationship because we both came to the table at a time where we were feeling a little more whole or found ourselves a little bit more at the time. And now I’m here on the podcast with you all. So that’s a little mini journey. There’s, like other episodes in there.
Rob Dale [00:10:05]:
There really is.
Eric Deschamps [00:10:06]:
Well, the nice thing is we plan on having you back regularly today, is really just letting our listeners, our audience get to know you both because you both offer such wisdom. You both have been on such incredible journeys. And again, what’s amazing to hear is, Wendy, you shared it when, you know, I thought I was the only one who had my shit together. And what’s powerful for us, we’ve been interviewing we’ve had so many guests on the show as of late, and it’s almost every single one of them. There’s some version of, I thought I was the only one, I thought I was the only unhappy one. I thought I was the only one who didn’t measure up. And isn’t that a skewed belief that we have that part of the freedom to start exploring who you want to be and what your life is meant to be is recognizing that actually we’re all in this together and we’re all kind of trying to find our way forward. Curious for each of you, and maybe this time we’ll start with Kate and go back to Wendy. When you think of the journey that you’ve been on and how you’ve grown, how you’ve evolved, how you’ve made choices, like, a lot of folks stay stuck in their problems and unhappiness. They embrace the devil they know rather than the devil they don’t, and don’t make change. But you both did and have reinvented yourselves. What are some of the significant hurdles for you, some of the most significant hurdles you’ve had to overcome on that journey to becoming a better version, a truer version of yourself?
Kate Beere [00:11:41]:
Yeah, it’s a great question. There’s a ton of hurdles. I mean, there’s so many, there’s doubt. There’s just so many to dive into. For me, it really boiled down to, and I always say this, it’s the self worth piece. And you talk about this so much on the show that everything is really anchored in that. And that’s where it starts. You really have to start believing in yourself. You have to believe that you are worthy of the life that you want. But you have to believe it at your core, because without that belief, even just a smidge of belief at the beginning, you need that to be able to ground yourself, to be able to make change. So I know for me, being able to now say I am worthy just those three words alone has taken eight years. I didn’t jump off the eight years ago and be like, It wasn’t like that.
Eric Deschamps [00:12:38]:
Just woke up one day and flipped a switch. Right.
Kate Beere [00:12:41]:
Done. No. And I’m a knob. I’m enough as I am. Who I am is okay. It’s giving yourself permission to be able to show up authentically as you are. And then you have to love on yourself enough for you. You need community. You need people around you who will support you. But it truly, I believe, starts with you. You have to find that place where you have a strong enough belief in yourself to be able to start the change.
Eric Deschamps [00:13:10]:
Yeah, absolutely. So good.
Rob Dale [00:13:12]:
Yeah. What about for you, Wendy?
Wendy Dodds [00:13:14]:
Yeah, so kind of how Pete started. There’s so many hurdles. Some of them have been major roadblocks, and others have been speed bumps. And as I’ve kind of navigated through this over the years and Kate it’s funny when you say our timelines, like, Kate and I didn’t know each other before, and it’s just fascinating how our paths and our journeys have been so similar of what we’ve been through around so much. So I’m a firm believer that people are placed in your path, the right place at the right time. But I am very much an all in type of girl. Rob and I were actually laughing about this last night because any picture that you see in my world in fitness or what I’m doing, I’m always like.
Eric Deschamps [00:14:04]:
I hadn’t noticed. I hadn’t noticed at all. Yeah.
Wendy Dodds [00:14:07]:
But I’m an all in type of girl, and I find that one of the biggest hurdles that I’ve overcome is being completely unapologetic and being very crystal clear with myself that that is who I am. And being really okay, that recognizing that my standard will only scare off people who are not meant for me. I’m very much a people pleaser. So I always felt the need to make sure that I was always pleasing people. And I’m okay if people aren’t for me, because I’m not for everybody. And that’s okay. And I think for me, really understanding the foundation of my growth is my willingness to be messy and uncomfortable and awkward. And if I look crazy or people unfriend me or they don’t like that, that’s okay. I’m okay with that. And I think that’s one big hurdle that I’ve had to overcome over the past eight years.
Eric Deschamps [00:15:03]:
Like, people pleasing, living according to other people’s expectations. I mean, it is such a trap. And yet, if we all came together and then that’s part of what this show is about, is bringing people together that are sharing their story and coming clean and being open and vulnerable about it. And what we’re recognizing is this universal message of if we could get everyone in the same room and say, hey, you don’t have to live according to their expectations. You don’t have to please this person. If we could all just do that and get rid of this false notion that we are here to live according to the musts, the shoulds, and the have tos think about just how liberating that would be. And so to have overcome that is such a powerful thing. Kate, I have given you credit on this time and time again because it’s been one on the show specifically, but in conversation after conversation as well with many of my clients and folks that I have the opportunity to talk about these principles with. And it’s the whole notion of the get to mindset. I’ve shared it, but I can’t do it justice like you can. Perhaps you could tell us the story if you’re comfortable sharing the story of where that came from and how meaningful that has been for you and for others who have embraced that worldview.
Kate Beere [00:16:31]:
Yeah, I’m happy to share. The get to mindset for me is actually like a very personal story. I’m happy to share it sort of, I guess, where the origin story behind it, but the concept is just a very simple mindset shit. Say that three times fast, but it really is just around shifting how you say certain things in your day to anchor yourself really, truly in gratitude. So those statements, you just said them, I have to, I should. When you change a simple word from I have to to I get to, it’s amazing how quickly you change your perspective on what you’re doing and you change your connection to what you’re saying, I have to call my sister. I don’t want to hear her talk about her husband today versus, I get to call my sister. What if I can’t call her tomorrow? If something happens? It just really reframes the way you think about it very quickly, and it’s a very easy thing to do. And the more you do it, the easier it gets and the more you sink into gratitude.
Eric Deschamps [00:17:34]:
Kate Beere [00:17:34]:
That’s sort of the philosophy behind it, the story itself. I’ll turn to the cold notes because it’s a bit long, but essentially in 2002, when I was still married, I moved onto a court. We bought a house and we moved across the street from a couple. And Tanya was the wife in that couple, and Tanya was battling breast cancer. So stage four breast cancer. She was in her thirties, beautiful girl, and lost her hair and was really quite sick. Tony and I became Fast and Furious friends, and it turns out that we actually knew each other without knowing each other. So when you just talked about paths crossing and people come in and out of your life for a reason, I really, truly believe Tawny and I met for a reason. We had odly enough. Her brother and I went to the same high school. Her brother and I were born on the same day, in the same hospital at the same time. I used to live across the street from Tanya. She was three years older than me, so she was in university. I was still in high school. I was dating. Cover your ears, Eric. I was dating.
Eric Deschamps [00:18:46]:
You’ve told me this story. I’m all good.
Kate Beere [00:18:48]:
And we cross paths lots, but we never spoke. And then when we became fast friends, tanya shared a lot about what she was going through. It was really hard for her to share some of her sorrows, pains thoughts with her closest friends and family. She didn’t want to burden them with what she was going through, her doubts, her fears, all of it. So we became very close. And one day, I remember I decided to go for a run. I used to run a lot. And this day, it happened to be gray, and it wasn’t raining, but I couldn’t get out the door. Like something the song rang, the dombart, whatever it was that finally made it out for my run. And I started running. I had a great run. And then halfway through, the skies opened up, and it was a torrential storm. I mean, like one of those storms where you’re just soaked so your sneakers feel like you’ve got ten pound weight strapped to them. And I’m running, right?
Wendy Dodds [00:19:44]:
Kate Beere [00:19:45]:
I am fucking pissed, right? I’m like, you should have got out the door sooner. Why did this take you so long? This is the worst run. And then I continued. I got right to the court, and I saw Tanya’s house before mine, and I just stopped, I fully stopped in my tracks, and I started to cry like ball uncontrollably. And I remembered a conversation I’d had with Tanya about how she liked to go running with her dog, Tucker. And so we joked about how it’s annoying to run with your dogs because you have to pick up their dog shit when you do with it. So we joking with that. And then so I just this memory of her being like, I really wish I could go for a run with Tupper. And in that moment, I still get emotional about it. I remember thinking, I get to run in the rain. I get to run in the rain. And I just kept saying it, because Tanya had passed away that year, and her 30s had lost her battle with breast cancer. And so that, for me, was such a moment of revelation, of, I get to do anything I want, and I get to be here today. Tawny never got to run again. And it sunk in with me so strongly and fiercely that from that day, I shared it with so many people, and I’ve seen it help so many people. And that’s why I’m just really passionate about sharing that message and getting it out there.
Rob Dale [00:21:09]:
It really is incredible. And thank you for sharing and thank you for the openness and sharing a very personal story. It is incredible how powerful that shift in thinking. Again, language matters. It seems like such a simple shift in a few words, a phrase, and yet it makes all the difference towards somebody’s attitude, and it’s absolutely incredible. And Wendy, when you and I met, of course we met at the gym, you were already involved with the real life with Wendy. You were doing a lot of that. I didn’t know much of your story, but I saw somebody who had incredible passion, commitment to people. One of the things that I appreciate so much, even having the two of you on today, is we’ve heard probably and we just sharing this recently, is that one of the most common things we hear from people is it’s refreshing. It’s two guys talking about their emotions, and yet we recognize that what I.
Eric Deschamps [00:22:10]:
Find really great there is they’re referring to, in our respect, referring to emotions in the plural.
Rob Dale [00:22:15]:
Yeah, more than one emotion. But going through this and to be able to have the perspective that the two of you do around some of these topics we’ve spoken about. No one has influenced me when it comes to mindset more than you have, Wendy. And in our conversations and just talk a little bit about how that has kind of grown for you, were there a moment or something or situations that happened that kind of really started that journey for you around how you think about things and how you view things. The mindset piece for you?
Wendy Dodds [00:22:56]:
Yeah, two in particular. One, I’ll talk about maybe a little bit more than the other because like Kate said earlier, we could probably have enough podcasts for a whole year with.
Eric Deschamps [00:23:10]:
So we were already talking with Steve, our producer today, about expansion plans for the studio because we plan on having you guys here on a regular basis. So we need to make the studio bigger.
Rob Dale [00:23:19]:
Meanwhile, Steve’s thinking maybe what we’ll do is just get rid of the two guys and have another hall that would be easier.
Wendy Dodds [00:23:28]:
When I was explaining my kind of going through the Coles Notes version of my story and I had talked about back in 2014 and kind of how my life had Pivoted, where I was really struggling physically, mentally and emotionally. One of the big Pivoting moments that caused me to shift to where I am today, being very much overweight and being very conscious that I wanted to be a good role model to my girl, but really didn’t know how to get myself together. And it was interesting in my HR career, working in employee relations and dealing with a lot of the situations that I dealt with and having people sit across from me sharing all of the shit and all of the stuff they’re going through and me giving all of.
Kate Beere [00:24:28]:
The wonderful HR answers and thinking in.
Wendy Dodds [00:24:31]:
My head, I can’t even help myself. And yet I’m just like a robot helping this person. And if only I could do for others, like do for myself what I’m telling others to do. Back in 2014, my husband at the time and I had a pool party and we have friends and family over and whatnot, and our pool had a slide. And my girls are always like, mom, come down the slide. My girls were young at the time. So as a mom, of course you do things that your kids want you to do. And I climbed to the top of the slide and I started to go down the slide, and I got stuck in front of everybody. And that was the most pivoting, mortifying moment of my life, having people come and help me get out of the slide. And it’s funny because when I’m coaching people on the real life, I get this question all the time. How do you know when you’ve hit rock bottom? How do you know when enough is enough? And your excuses just become enough, where you just decide to accept the fact that you need to change and how do you change? And that was my pivoting moment. That was my rock bottom moment where everything kind of glazed over and I was like, I can’t do this anymore. And I wasn’t just talking about physically, I was talking about everything. So that was probably a big pivoting moment for me. And as I continued to grow and shift and kind of going back to that willingness of being messy, uncomfortable and awkward and all the things, as I went through that journey, I became very transparent and open, particularly on social media around my journey, around that. And now as I kind of help people with the real life, around that accountability factor, I think one of the biggest goals is helping people understand that accepting that the ground is going to shift, your roots are going to tangle, your buds are going to break off, the weather is always going to change. You’re not going to have all your shit figured out. People are going to check on you to see if you fail. But always moving forward, keeping in mind that you absolutely have a right to do what makes you feel happy and you have a right to take control of your life and it’s not going to be pretty right. That’s kind of how I shifted over into the real life. And that’s how people learn how to grow and pivot. And a lot of it has to come down to that story.
Eric Deschamps [00:26:56]:
Wow. It’s again, one of the common themes. Well, in our stories and in every guest that we’ve had on the show so far, that when they talk about pre and post, right? So pre being the old version of them, the unhappy, confused, lost version of themselves to the post now and post, not that the work is finished or work is done because it’s never truly done. But where there’s been a significant shift, a significant change, where sometimes I don’t know about you guys, sometimes I can still remember old Eric. I lived in those shoes long enough, and I remember how unhappy he was and how much he despised himself and put himself under so much pressure. I remember that guy. But it seems so long ago now. But one of the most common things that we hear is that it took pain. It took some significant and it’s not that we hadn’t experienced pain before, but I think the universe has a way of arranging things in such a way to give us an opportunity. And yet what’s fascinating is not everyone listens, right? Everyone experiences pain. Not everyone translates pain into fuel for transformation. And obviously the two of you have done that, and we’ve been able to talk so much about that. I know Kate and I have been able to share that journey and share those stories. I know you and Rob have done the same. Wendy curious, and I know we didn’t kind of prepare this question ahead of time, so let me give you the question, and I’m going to buy you some time. But we’ve got folks listening to the show and they’re meeting you for the first time. They’re probably hearing, no doubt they’re hearing themes that they’ve heard us echo, right, as you have shared them with us. But in a moment, I’m going to ask you to say if you had a word of advice or encouragement to someone who is at that place right now, they’re in that place of unhappiness and not being fulfilled and feel like they’re asleep at the wheel of their own life. Maybe they’re experiencing some personal pain. What words of advice or encouragement would you provide them? And as you come up with that, as you think of that for just a moment, rob, what was a significant moment for you? You think of your journey to transformation. It’s been quite a journey. What would you point back to as a significant moment in time? And we don’t have to tell the whole story, but just sort of a synopsis? What was one of those moments for you?
Rob Dale [00:29:31]:
Well, yeah, and to your point, there’s so many, right? There are so many times and so many moments that I think for me and it really was to your point, we talk like this journey. We’ve been on this journey a while, me a little bit longer than you, just because I’m 55 and you’re not.
Eric Deschamps [00:29:52]:
I think the most exciting moment for me last year is when you turned 55 and you celebrated the fact that you now had a discount at Shoppers drug market. You didn’t just celebrate it, you were broadcasting it. You were offering to bring your friends to Shoppers so that they could buy stuff using your discount card. I mean. It was quite a moment for you.
Rob Dale [00:30:09]:
Not just at Shoppers, but also at Bulk Barn when I need snacks. Wendy knows we love our bulk barn. And Bulk Barn, if you’re listening, we would accept a sponsorship in Bazinga. That’s all you got to provide is just lots of Bazinga for me. And it really was early on. It was just in the last few years, we have built a really successful Rhapsody strategies this company, and yet I was still in a place where a number of years ago, I had fallen into some of the same traps of playing the same role, of trying to be that as Wendy mentioned, the people pleaser. I was trying to be that people pleaser. I was living by other people’s values, by trying to keep everyone health. And it got to a point and in a moment where I just thought, I cannot do this anymore. And it was that shift to finally say, I need to let go of all of that and become my true, authentic self. And one of those places. And again, all these episodes in people understand this. The Eric you see on the podcast is Eric all the time now. Oh, God, yes. No, no. Eric and I, we’ve got a long relationship just absolutely and really do consider you my best friend. And there were many times where I would lose my voice, being a more low key, quieter, lose my voice in that. And I remember one of the first moments of shift was beginning to use my voice and showing up as myself even in our relationship and in the other relationships of others around, including Trevor and others in the company. But it was a shift that happened to me, I think, really just during COVID where there was that defining moment of saying, I can’t keep doing this. I want more. I want me. And that was a shift for sure.
Eric Deschamps [00:32:17]:
Yeah. So powerful. So powerful. And it’s been really cool watching you find that voice and express it in a more genuine fashion and confidence.
Rob Dale [00:32:26]:
And it’s been cool watching you find your voice, because even though sometimes the danger of saying, well, you’re this much more energetic, passionate person, is, oh, well, he must be really good at his voice. And if you listen to your story, we know that is that we were both guilty of the same people pleasing syndrome. We just showed up differently with it.
Eric Deschamps [00:32:47]:
Yeah, absolutely. And this, again, I think is the most powerful thing about all these stories as people begin to share their journey, is that everyone’s journey is unique. Everyone’s journey is not somebody else’s journey. And yet there are such common themes that run right across these stories about people pleasing and not being true to ourselves. And again, living up to people’s expectations or suffering from the impostor syndrome. If only people knew the real me. The fear, the insecurity, the low self esteem, the not feeling worthy of anything better that I’m actually what I got I’m not happy with, but it’s probably all I deserve, are such common themes in all these stories. And ladies, back to you. If someone is listening today and they’re in that place, I’m really looking forward. Today is an introductory episode and it’s been so good to have you here. And next week we’re bringing you back and we’re going to be talking about some of the things that we’ve learned as couples in this living, richly journey. I’m really looking forward to that conversation as well. But for listeners and again, maybe we’ll start with Wendy and then go to Kate. For those that are listening, that are in that place, they want to make a change, but they’re struggling to believe in themselves. What would your word of encouragement to them be?
Wendy Dodds [00:34:15]:
I get this question asked a lot around how do you stay motivated to do whatever it is that you want to do? And motivation is not something that we’re born with. It’s really about building confidence in what you’re doing. So it could be job, relationship, anything that you’re doing or even just overall how you want to feel or what you believe.
Kate Beere [00:34:34]:
You build confidence in what you’re doing.
Wendy Dodds [00:34:36]:
Or how you want to feel by putting deposits in your confidence bank every single day. I think the one thing people get confused with is happiness is not a permanent state, but wholeness is. And a lot of people confuse those two things. So what’s the difference between being happy and being whole? Being whole is being your true, authentic self. And a lot of that comes with practice. One of my favorite quotes is the more you focus on practicing, on whatever it is that you want to improve on, practice until you get right, and then practice until you can’t think that you get it wrong. Because the more you sweat and practice, and I’m not just talking about physically fitness wise, but anything, the more you sweat and practice, the less you’re going to in battle. And a lot of that comes with having the right people, the right circle around you to be able to get your energy to flow where you want your energy to go.
Eric Deschamps [00:35:34]:
Kate Beere [00:35:36]:
Yeah, I love that one. And I think, too, you have to move, you have to do something to move yourself forward. And the fear holds us back a lot, right? That fear keep us so stuck. I know for me, near the end of my marriage, I was probably the most miserable person I’ve ever been, yet so scared to take a step, knowing I needed to, to really find who I was again. But once you start to really sink into and think through, like, I’m so miserable here, how much more miserable could it be if I take one step forward in the direction where I want to go? And so starting to know that you’re just as hurt here as you’re going to be over there. But you’re one step closer for me, really helped. It got one step. Okay, just do one thing that’s going to get you closer to where you want to be. And sometimes just that little bit of courage, that microsecond of courage to take one step forward can make all the difference.
Eric Deschamps [00:36:38]:
I love that. I love the being in motion. We’ve talked often about how the universe is all energy, and energy is constantly in motion. And when we get stuck, when we’re not moving, we’re out of alignment with the universe. And it’s not always about the swing for the fences approach or the big successes. It’s often those microevolutions, those micro moments of courage, little by little, slowly by slowly, that things begin to transform. One of the things I admire most, Kate, about your living richly journey is your refusal to settle, your refusal to settle for second best or for status quo. That if you find yourself in an environment where you’re not happy, you’re not fulfilled, that you are, you do get into motion and you have the courage to pursue it’s. Something I admire very deeply about you.
Rob Dale [00:37:34]:
And Wendy with you. I so deeply appreciate even just the real life with Wendy. And this isn’t just some moniker. It’s not some kind of just tagline. I see it in you every day. I see you living so genuinely in this journey where there are days when things are not going well and there’s all these struggles. There are days when things are going so amazing. It summarizes. And this will be a funny little kind of example, but it summarizes so perfectly. And here is somebody who is she’s? A head coach, a trainer. She does this kind of inspires people with physical fitness and doing all of the stuff that she does. And yet I don’t know anyone who gets more excited when Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups go on sale at Costco, right from one post will be about running five K or doing this, and the next post is, oh, my God, reese’s Peanut Butter Cups go on sale. That’s real life. And what I have so taken from that in getting to know you and us spending our life together and our time together, is seeing that authenticity in every moment, no matter what comes up, whether it’s something of joy and excitement or a challenge that you’re facing, it’s so wonderful to see.
Eric Deschamps [00:38:56]:
Yeah. Ladies, we are so grateful that you were able to join us this week. We’ve been looking forward to this moment for some time and really look forward to next week’s conversation where we kind of pick up the conversation and just talk about what we’ve been learning together in this journey. For those of you that are listening, we hope you’ve enjoyed the show today, meeting the two most influential people in our lives. We ask that if you’ve been benefiting from these conversations. Remember to, like, share subscribe. You don’t want to miss an episode. And make sure you share it out on social media so that other people can benefit from these real raw conversations that are happening.
Rob Dale [00:39:33]:
Check out our website. Livingrichly Me act. You will find all kinds of resources on there. When we reference books, we’ll put them on there. We certainly are talking about coaching opportunities. All of that can be found at the website as well as all of the previous episodes. If you’ve missed any of them, you’ll want a chance to check them out as well.
Eric Deschamps [00:39:56]:
Thank you so much for joining us on the show today. On behalf of Kate, Wendy and Rob, we just are so glad you were able to share this time with us. And until we see you next week, get out there and live your best life.