Chasing Excellence – How to Unleash Your Peak Potential with Ben Bergeron

Chasing Excellence with Ben Bergeron

Eric Deschamps:

He’s one of the most successful crossfit coaches in the world and has coached both male and female champions of the sport. He’s an entrepreneur family man and author and an all round great guy, and he’s coming up next. Welcome. Lifting Richley Nation. It’s so great to have you on this week’s show. We’re so grateful that you’re tuning in every week. For these shows. And today, this episode we’re really excited about. We have a very, very special guest. And, Rob, I’m gonna have you introduce him.

Rob Dale:

Yeah. It is so great to have Ben Bergeron with us. Ben is, just recently, literally this past August retired from, coaching athletes at the crossfit games over the course of his his career as a as a crossfit, elite athlete coach He has coached all kinds of successful athletes including the world’s fittest female and the world’s fittest male, athlete He has not only as a as a coach of CrossFit athletes. He runs one of the most successful crossfit uh-uh studios in the world. He is a author who’s written a number of books and, just absolute and also is running another company an online coaching program called, comp train. Ben has, has influenced my life in so many ways. And yet, this is our first time we get to meet. As it is with often people that are in this world, in this podcast is one of, my favorite podcast that I listen to Wendy and I will listen to it regularly together when we’re on the road. It’s always the first thing we choose to listen to. It’s so great to have you with us. Ben, welcome. I know that you’ve recently retired from, coaching at the CrossFit games. But there’s a lot still going on your plate. So thank you for, say, taking some time to be with us today. How you doing?

Ben Bergeron:

Yeah. Appreciate it, guys. Happy to be here. Thanks for having me.

Rob Dale:

So your book, chasing excellence, as I’ve mentioned, we talk about it all the time on the He

Eric Deschamps:

talks about it, Ben. You don’t you don’t understand. He talks about it all

Rob Dale:

the time. I

Eric Deschamps:

and he’s recommended it, and it’s actually as a result, I it’s on my to read list. It’s like in my next five books to read. I’ve always got this huge stack. So I haven’t gotten to it yet, but I’m looking forward to it, but I feel like I already know it, because he shared the message so so many times and it’s influenced as a result, not just Rob’s life, but my life and the podcast. So, again, having you here today is a real special thing for us.

Rob Dale:

I do a I do a, even with my coaching clients, my business coaching clients, it’s one of the top you know, certainly in the top five books that I recommend, to my clients to read as well because there’s just so much good information in there. And and for me, where it really influenced me last year was around mindset. It was the opportunity to understand that shifting into the way that you think, the way that you focus on the things that are within your control, all of those things, absolutely help me in the day to day and what I’m doing. Ben, is there maybe a on a hot what what was the kind of the the leading up to writing this book, what was the influence that caused you to decide it’s time to put this on paper?

Ben Bergeron:

It was a it was a very, definitive moment. I was at lunch with my very best friend who’s an incredibly successful person, and we, we have these regular lunches where we swap war stories back and forth were both entrepreneurs and he was like, dude, you gotta write a book? And, I had just, recently won the crossfit games with the, an individual male and an individual female, first coach to ever do that. And he was like, now is the time. And I was like, yeah, but there’s, like, so many other things to do. He’s like, he’s like, I know somebody that owns a company that publishes books and I will front the cost for it. Wow. So I was basically bullied into it.

Eric Deschamps:

Love that. Sometimes we have to be pushed, don’t we? I mean, you would know this well in the in coaching world. I mean, it’s amazing how we always we often just stop short of greatness, and it often requires No. You’ve got more in you. Right? You’ve got something else that often requires that outside voice.

Ben Bergeron:

That’s what that’s what the that’s what good friends too. Right? I’m a big believer in you know, the old cliche if you are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, but more so is I think that one of the most important things. We talk about mindset a lot. Mindset certainly is important. But really what comes before mindset, because mindset needs to be a decision. What officially happens before that is your environment. Your environment influences you more than anything else. You can determine someone’s success from a monetary perspective better by the zip code that they come from than their IQ. There’s a better correlate to zip codes than there is Thai q to earning potential.

Eric Deschamps:

What

Ben Bergeron:

that means is who are you hanging out with? And just as you guys said, if your friends are full of drama and complaining toxicity and holding you back, holding you down, it takes an incredible, incredible will power, mental strength, fortitude, direction, and to push against that swim upstream. That’s a that’s a real challenge that I I I so look up to the people that are willing that are willing and able to to to fight that fight. Luckily, I’ve been blessed enough to be surrounded by incredible people in my life just like my friend, Derek who is the one that did this. So to your point, yes, absolutely. Like, you need the coaches. You need the mentors. You need the friends. You need the family. You need the peers. You need the competitors. That are around you to make you a better person. And for me, Derek is, is is exactly that person. And the book, honestly, I mean, people say, I think a lot was, like, but with no exaggeration, the the first book and the second book just would not have happened without him. Wow. That’s amazing.

Rob Dale:

It is it is interesting and and part of when I first said, you know, we need to try to get Ben on the show. Part of what that influence was was that I saw even in the shifts that you’ve made your podcast and the way you focused on to into so many of these different areas. There’s such alignment with the living richly message. Right? We talk about it all the time that you know, if you are gonna live your best life, you you might be able to do it on your own, but it’s it’s pretty hard. It’s really hard. It it’s really, really hard. The community that you surround yourself with, and that community, being able to influence Ben, this is a little bit off script, but I think it’s such a powerful story. Maybe a real kind of condensed version of this would be so fitting here, because it ties so well into community. Your last episode, you shared the story of going to prison. And, and that was was just a I sat there. I will re round it. I I re round it. That’s

Eric Deschamps:

wow.

Rob Dale:

You’re you’re listening to it. Sixty five years old. I hit the rewind. I Rob is dating himself right now.

Ben Bergeron:

I I waited for the DJ to finish talking. So I could flash record on my dual display. So I can make sure I got the bond Jovi song exactly the way I wanted it to.

Rob Dale:

Right. But maybe just as a highlight, the piece around the notion of in that prison where they were running this CrossFit studio. It was around the community was the influence and you gave some stock around the percentage of people who are successful leaving prison because of their community that they’re a part of. Could you maybe just a a Cole’s notes version of that?

Ben Bergeron:

Yeah. So the the short version is I was I created a relationship with somebody that started a CrossFit organization, which is now in 14 different facilities. In the state of Colorado from minimum to maximum security prisons, invited in to kind of see what’s happening in, in face to face in real life. And it’s amazing. Like and I don’t use the word amazing lightly. It is truly amazing and truly transformational. What this community, which is built around you know, let’s get stronger, fitter, faster, is doing to people’s lives. And the the point that you’re alluding to is the people that leave prison in the state of Colorado, it’s about a I wish I had the number in front of me. Maybe you guys remember believe it was, like, a a 60% or a higher receivable rate, which means they they end up back in prison. And I don’t know if it in front of you. That’s what My memory recalls of the people that make it all the way through this program, that number drops to 0. Wow. 0 people. 0

Eric Deschamps:

That’s crazy.

Ben Bergeron:

Back into prison. And even the people that touch the program, they’ve been through it at all. That number is in, like, the 30%. So it drops in half just by having them any experience, any exposure to this. But have been they’ve been through the full totality of the program. No one has gone back. Now if you think about the magnitude of the impact of the people around you. There’s no stronger example exactly of that. But what’s really interesting is also how something that can be set up for what looks like the outside looks like strength and conditioning. This is what’s weird when you talk about those people on the outside that don’t understand it. And, you know, we’re trying to create funds for this and try to, like, you know, like, they’re like, why are we gonna send money to make prisoners stronger. Like, it makes no sense. Like, why would we want those guys to be more dangerous? And totally get that. That was my impression as well until you recognize what’s actually happening, which is 50% of the people in prison are getting out within 5 years. That’s a big number. Yeah. Half of the people are gonna be out of prison within 5 years. Those people are being reintroduced in society. Who do you want to be reintroduced? And what this program is doing is not just making them it’s giving them purpose. It’s giving them community. It’s it’s selling values. Responsibility, accountability, discipline, and all of the traits that they’re going to need when they get out that they didn’t have when they went in And the reason they went in was because they didn’t have that surrounding community that instill those traits into them.

Eric Deschamps:

That is so powerful. What a powerful story and powerful outcome we just had on the show, you referred to it the 3 time Olympian speed skater and gold medal finalist. Best known for his dreadlocks and listening to reggae music. He always stood out in that in that sport when he was when he was wearing the dreads. Or sporting the threats, but he talked to us about what he called it following the fun, which is his passion and the importance of the community that he was surrounded by from a very, very young age Knowing that he wanted to make it to the Olympics, it would take him 19 years to get there. Right? And it was that that passion that that drive to achieve that goal and that supportive community that made it possible. So the the importance of finding your the right people, right, surrounding yourself with the right people. I don’t think can be understated and what a powerful example about.

Rob Dale:

You and, yeah, and I I love the fact that you were even talking about in that culture because of the strength of community, breaking down racial barriers, breaking down all of these other things that are so common in prison. What you don’t know, some of the listeners who have listened to my story, they know is that my dad spent 17 years in prison and was in a maximum security prison. Had, at one point, was break had broken out of prison a number of times. So when you share that story, it really piqued my interest because I grew up in an environment of people who are in in prison and and going through that whole experience. So, so powerful. And and in the case of it with my dad, 0 positive community around him and that when he died, he died alone, you know, an alcoholic completely just broken individual because he didn’t have those people that he surrounded, and one of my values is community as a result. Well, Rob, that’s a mate. You’re one of those generation breakers that I respect so much. I think that is the hardest thing because you accept the surroundings in which you’re presented. You know, it’s that old Socrates cave analogy, which have you grow up in

Ben Bergeron:

a cave, you think that all there is to life is shadows. If you were to step out in the cave, you go, oh my god. Well, it’s the same thing. If you just grow up in environment of violence and, disrespect, abuse, and, not accountability. Like, I’m just gonna do my thing, selfishness, that’s what you why would a eleven year old think of anything different? It’s really impressive to me, and I have so much respect for the people that rise up above that and kinda popped their heads up out of the clouds and go, wait. These are conch still. It’s just harder but they’re conscious decisions. Absolutely. The hard part about that, the hardest one is I don’t wanna lose my friends. Well, that friends and family, like, those are, like, we’re told are the number one things of your lives. I’m I’m I just really believe that you making consciously deciding making it a conscious decision. Who you are spending your time with is probably some of the biggest decision job raising your life. The biggest one, in my opinion, being who you marry. Because that’s what you’re gonna spend the most time with. Bigger than what I’m gonna do for a job, bigger than where I’m gonna live, is who am I gonna marry? And then the next one’s outside of that, whom I can spend my time with. Now by default, for a lot of that is the work environment because we spend 8 hours a day in the work environment, but we don’t need to be in any environments. We can choose where we go. Yeah. The hard part about that is usually it’s not like you have 2 in front of you. You only have one in front of you and that one isn’t optimal leaving that for a complete unknown where there isn’t Another option is the hard part.

Eric Deschamps:

Absolutely. Absolutely.

Ben Bergeron:

You don’t get to just go like, oh, I’m gonna leave this group and go over to this group. Screw. You have to make a choice. Leave this group. Be nomadic for a while, be a lone wolf for a while so you find your new group. And that’s the real challenge.

Eric Deschamps:

Yeah. We’ve talked about that very concept so many times on the show that the willingness to break free from your current reality. If you’re envisioning a better life, and you envision, you know, pursuing your passion that that may mean you may have to change the tribe that you’re connected to. And that may mean a period in the wilderness in the desert by yourself. And that loneliness and that grieving of those former relationships is a thing as you start to show up more authentically pursuing your passion following the fun, then your tribe, your real tribe will begin to show where I’m just firmly convinced of that. One of the one

Ben Bergeron:

of the powerful stats that, exemplifies that is you are over 150% more likely to be overweight. If your friends are overweight, then if your parents are overweight. Wow. Because as an as an adult, you spend it’s who you spend your time with. It’s not your genetics. It’s who you spend your time to serve your friends, go to the bar and order pictures of beer and nachos and wings, 3 nights a week, guess what you’re gonna end up doing? It’s not because of your your your genes or the lineage or anything else. It’s our behaviors.

Rob Dale:

It it’s so interesting and and, you know, I mentioned I’m I’m a big fan of of your podcast, probably the My favorite episode of your podcast is one that, my partner Wendy and I listen to oftentimes, and it’s the one that, that your wife, Heather, was on with you. You mentioned just a moment ago how important it is to have that spouse and and you you were answering questions a question from a listener around the notion of living, you know, chasing excellence as a couple. We’ve done a couple of episodes on living richly as a couple. What does that look like?

Eric Deschamps:

None of the yeah. But with our significant others, not the 2 of us.

Rob Dale:

No. Yeah. Let’s be clear. No. Well, we’re not well, everyone’s met Wendy and Kate.

Eric Deschamps:

They have. Yeah. So that’s how much is going.

Rob Dale:

And as I mentioned, so and I I agree with you, Wendy is, for me, the person who challenges me the most, who encourages me the most, who cheers me on more than anyone else who believes in me more than anyone else who holds me accountable, more than anyone else. And it is so freeing when you have that partner at your side your ability to now chase in your language, chase excellence is so much more. It’s just so easier to do that. Right. Maybe take a minute and talk about the importance of that element of, you talked about the importance of the friends. That part of the community but even how you embrace, living your best life in, as a couple.

Ben Bergeron:

Yeah. I think it’s First off, you’re I think you’re spot on. I think it’s one of the more important things that we can do is, yes, like, as a as a twenty two year old, it’s about, like, Oh, she’s so hot. Right?

Rob Dale:

And it’s like, you just wanna, like,

Ben Bergeron:

you wanna, like, marry the person that you wanna just, you know, sleep next to for the next 70 years. Yeah. But And that’s, that’s it’s not that that’s not an element, but it can’t be founded solely on that. To me, the biggest things that we need is shared visions and values. Which is means that we want the same things in life, like, and the big things. Right? I want to live in the country. I wanna live in the city. Well, if you don’t agree on those 2 things, there’s gonna be a lot of clashing your riffs. I wanna have kids. I don’t wanna have kids. I’m a big family person. I want to travel. I want we have an understanding of what it is that we want out of our lives, both from a vision perspective and a values perspective. And, you know, vision being, like, the north star of, like, what do I think is, would I want my life to end up like? And probably, like, a, a 10 year picture sort of, like, where in 10 years, you don’t have to have spot on. And then it’s gonna change. It might change every 6 months, but that’s fine. Wanna have those conversations along the way. And then values is simply like, what do I think is important in life? And the example I’ve given, I gave it actually in the second book I wrote, which is If, a clear example of misalignment of values is if you love to hunt and it’s one of those things that It’s it’s in it’s important to you. You feel it’s actually the best thing you can do in terms of you know, protecting animals because you’re one kill, what, one heartbeat feeds you and your family for 6 months. As opposed to, you know, industrial farming and you believe it’s what we as human beings should be doing, but your wife is a vegetarian and, hates the thought a like, that’s that little

Eric Deschamps:

Yeah.

Ben Bergeron:

Like, we have to have that same those are values. Yeah. Like, I like to hunt and I think that we should be guns are terrible. Like, we’re gonna have a hard time. Now I’m not saying you need to, like, both be on the same side of the political spectrum. But you have to have the ability. Like, I think politics are important. Cool. I don’t think politics are important. Like, that might be a rift. Right. It’s really important. Whether it’s your friends, whether it’s your team, whether it’s your spouse, or it’s your business to make sure that the vision and values are aligned. And if they are, now we have the foundation for what ways that we wanna chase. And then we can go and live an excellent life together. But if you don’t have that in place, team, business friends, organization families, if you don’t have those, what do we do? We can work our ass off.

Eric Deschamps:

We

Ben Bergeron:

work really, really hard, but ultimately not really get anywhere. And to me, that’s the definition of hell. Is working your ass off for something that ultimately doesn’t matter.

Eric Deschamps:

Well, it’s been said that if you don’t have a vision, then anything will do. Right? Anywhere you end up is okay, but it’s not okay. It’s a very unhappy, unfulfilling life.

Rob Dale:

Well, and you use the language. I love that. The vision is the north star. As you just said, man, And then, Eric, you introduced to me the language of your values or your compass. And so it’s the compass of how and so you’re right. If you’re if you’re using one compass and and your spouse is on a totally different compass with a different north star, you’re there’s gonna be some issues and so finding that alignment so critical and it’s one of the most difficult at times conversations to have is to when you’re already in a relationship with someone is to figure out can we find this alignment in order so that we may be able to live our best lives together?

Eric Deschamps:

I love the, you you mentioned, you know, you start talking, in this last bit about how it’s gotta be more than the physical attraction. Right? That is definitely an element of it. But you gotta go beyond that if you’re gonna build something that goes the distance. And what’s interesting is we use the 4 elements that have been used for 1000 years you know, water speaks of mind, fire speaks of heart, wind speaks of spirit, and earth speaks of body. And When we think of when folks get fed up and wanna make a change in their lives, often where they start, probably more than anywhere else, is with the earth element. Right? They they wanna make a change. I wanna get fit. I wanna lose weight. I mean, it’s the it’s probably the number 1 New Year’s resolution that gets abandoned usually by 3rd week in January, but it is the most common one. How do you see the importance of bringing those elements together in ancient alchemy, a little side, aside is that, that they believe that when those 4 elements came together, that’s when magic actually would take place. Right? But you’re in the fitness industry. I mean, that’s where you’ve really built your business, built your name, built your reputation. And I know you do a lot of work on mindset But when we talk about heart, when we talk about spirit, how does that show up for you and how are you trying to build those things into your life and into your work?

Ben Bergeron:

Yeah. That’s a I’m a big fan of any framework and that’s as good a framework as I’ve I’ve I’ve heard in terms of the different elements that we want to bring together to to create that magic. And I, you know, people listening to you. Of course, you’re biased. You’re you’re the world, your trainer. I really do believe that it starts with the body.

Eric Deschamps:

And, you

Ben Bergeron:

know, if we want to have clarity of mind, which To me, that is the ultimate goal. That’s the way we really want to have above all else because we chase all of these things, but we’re really looking for at the end of the day’s peace of mind. And people go, no. No. I wanna I wanna earn a $100,000. I wanna have a mansion. I wanna be able to travel the world. I want to have a million followers on Facebook. I want to have. Well, the reason that most people are doing this is not for that thing. It’s that they’ve had little taste of that before. And when they did, it felt really good, and their mind got calm. So they got a raise. And when they got the raise, they got that dopamine hip and it went, oh, this is so nice. But then really quickly, it resets and you go, oop. Now it’s this is the new benchmark, and then this is the new benchmark. The thing we’re really chasing is peace of mind. But here’s the deal with peace of mind is it doesn’t start in the mind. Everything is connected. You need the 4 elements to come together to make magic. But that first one you need is essentially, like, if you wanna create Alka, if you wanna create a fire, like, you wanna create, you need, like, the dry wood. You need that. You need a place to start. And then the the kind of parable that tells this fairly well is if you take a billionaire on his three hundred foot yacht with staff of 25 and all, like, the swimwear models walking around, passing around the drinks, and they’re in the Caribbean, Like, life is supposed to that’s as supposed to be as basically as good as it gets.

Eric Deschamps:

Yeah. Yeah.

Ben Bergeron:

But if he has strep throat, all he’s thinking about is that pain the next time he swallows. Right. That’s it. So it’s the body. It’s the physical body. Now There are people that can elevate above that. There are monks that don’t need a healthy body that can actually, you know, the the extreme example of this is the ones that get into such deep meditative states this soma where they can actually be in protests light themselves on fire and actually just stay in a trans state as they are body decomposes. Wow. That’s cool. That’s just not stupid.

Eric Deschamps:

Talk about talk about setting yourself on fire.

Ben Bergeron:

Like, I’m gonna I’m gonna be the guy that, like, if I shut up, throw it as pissed off. Like, and I’m like, oh my god. Like, this just kills It’s hard for me to be present. It’s hard for me to be empathetic. It’s hard for me to be disciplined. It’s hard for me to to stay to do the things that need to get done. Because this is so consuming. It’s the same thing as, like, if you’re going through chemotherapy, if you are massively obese, if you have, advanced uh-uh, adult onset diabetes. If you have all of these things that are taking away from your ability to actually live a fulfilled life, That’s why we need this package of meat to operate optimally. If it is operating optimally, then we can go and bring our best selves to that relationship. We can bring our best selves to our purpose and our passions. We’re gonna bring our best selves to learning, growing, and evolving. But without that body without that health as the foundation. I don’t think it works the other way. I don’t think, like, if you have an amazing, amazing relationship, it means that you can then go and do the fitness thing. I really think that It is the 1 lynchpin that the other start off of. I think that, you know, the framework that I have is eat, sleep, train, think, and connect. That’s for me, the things that we wanna do to optimize our health so we can then go and live a life of excellence. But we need the health 1st. And of that eat, sleep, train, think, and connect, the first one inside of that is Most people will say it’s nutrition is the number one thing. Recently, it’s sleep has gotten a lot of promotion, but you can’t sleep your way to optimal health. You can’t even eat your way to

Eric Deschamps:

optimal health. Wouldn’t that be great? It’s like, I’m gonna nap my way to excellence. Yeah.

Ben Bergeron:

Yes. But if you optimize your performance, your physical performance, the the the hormonal responses that happen throughout the body And what happens to those 13 systems from your cardiovascular, muscular, rupture, the, immune system, digestive system, hormonal system, the neurological. All of these systems, the greatest effect that has on those is exercise and movement. It’s the first place to start. That’s why I think that wood, earth, if there’s the way you said it. Earth body, it is the it is the 1st place to for people to go. And if people are looking for that change in their lives, there’s so many places to go to. Right? Should I change my job? Should I try to get up earlier? Should I try to eat more vegetables. Should I try to have that hard conversation with that person? Should I start to read more? Should I go to church? Should I Stop drinking as much. I my first place I suggest is 30 minutes a day, three times a week of aerobic activity, It is 6 days a week, if not 7, of moderate to high intensity workout. Like, you gotta do the thing. You gotta actually do it. Now intensity is relative. Right? So intense for me is gonna be different for you, which can be different for my grandmother. So for my grandmother, it might be walking up and down a few flights of stairs and doing some little mini air squats and pushing up against the wall to mimic a push up, you know, and that might last 3 minutes, but that might be enough for her. So the but the first starting part in is is let’s let’s get the body ready.

Eric Deschamps:

Yeah. Yeah. Go for it.

Rob Dale:

I love that. And I was thinking, you know, go back to just the book and where what really hooked me into with chasing excellence when you talk about, the the the importance of the fitness and the the health. When you’re when we talk about it again, and I wasn’t familiar with CrossFit. I I knew I knew about CrossFit, but I wasn’t familiar about the Crossfit games until probably about a year before I was introduced to your book. I had watched it and then, Wendy had introduced me to Kettering, Catron’s book and, of course, you’re mentioned in there and all of that. But, you know, with the crossfit games where when we talk about you coach the world’s fittest individuals, the male and female. We’re talking about even just to get to the crossfit games. You start with a pool of like 400,000 people from around the world, and it’s down to the the top 40 get to go, in August to these games. And here you are now coaching. And you write it in the almost at the beginning of the book. It might even be in the introduction. I don’t remember, but you make a statement about people ask you all the time. When you rather coach somebody who was kind of an elite physically fit athlete or somebody who is elite physically fit mentally. You say your the answer would probably surprise most people because you’d rather the fit athlete than the mentally tough athlete and people go, what? Wait a minute here. That doesn’t make maybe explain that. And, of course, it’s because you can teach mindset is what you say in the book. That you can’t teach talent, but for somebody who wants to get mentally strong, what’s what’s the most important thing that they need to understand?

Ben Bergeron:

Yes. It’s it’s, it It’s it’s one thing, but it’s broken into a fa it’s a framework. And if people understand this framework, this is what mental toughness is. First off, Before we get to the framework, the understanding of what mental toughness is, because it’s not what most people think it is. Most people think mental toughness is Patrick Mahomes in the Super Bowl last year. Sprayed, high ankle sprain, gets re aggravated, comes back in and plays the whole second half and runs for a first down on 4th and 12. And, like, like, what a mentally tough athlete? That’s tough. That’s physically tough. That’s physically tough athlete. Now his ability to withstand physical pain is a physical toughness trait. Now passion for homes is also very mentally tough. What is mentally tough? Metally tough is the ability to not be distracted. It’s ability to stay focused on what you deem is most important. That’s it. And it’s a lot simpler than people actually think it is. Well, because what people are trying to do, it is they go and, like, think of, like, the you can picture your head, the navy seal training or the marine boot camp where the drill sergeant day off the bus and they start yelling in their face. And that’s not making anyone more mentally tough. It’s just not. It’s what they’re doing is getting resilience physically enough. The the the the the mentally tough is a lot closer to focus than it is to physical toughness.

Eric Deschamps:

So I absolutely love that, Ben. I I really love that, that distinction between resilience and focus, because just earlier, we’re talking about the importance of figuring out your vision and figuring out your values and the vast majority of people don’t have that figured out. They they’re living according to other people’s expectations. Maybe somebody else’s vision. Somebody else’s value. News. And so they end up being we we talk about the end up being like, an extra, on a movies, on a movie set, right, as opposed to the star of their own show. Like, they’re They’re not living their life. And so when you uh-uh, I think the reason a lot of people lack focus and perhaps lack that mental toughness is they haven’t figured out what is really important to them. Would you agree with that? Absolutely. Yeah. We need to take your time.

Ben Bergeron:

Sides. Goes in another what we all wanna do in terms of, like, what do I believe chasing excellence is is we need to create the awareness of what it is that we want to live our what do we want our lives to look like? Let’s have awareness of that. If we don’t have the awareness of that, as you said, you end up being the extra. You end up doing a lotching on to someone else’s values. Like, I wanna earn a lot of money, which is just what society tells with us, we end up falling into these other traps. So we need awareness. Then from there, the next step is awareness doesn’t get you far without intention. Now I’m gonna go do this thing. I’m gonna set the goals. I’m gonna set the plan. I’m gonna create the strategies. I am gonna have intention. For that. And then action, awareness, intention, action. Till you do it, we you you don’t get any credit. We haven’t stepped into the arena yet. Right. You do there’s no nothing’s happened. Now it’s not that those things aren’t for not, but we gotta take the action. So let’s figure out what we want our lives to look. Our lives look like. I want peace of mind. I wanna live on a farm. I want to have a romantic relationship. I want you figure what what is the what is the thing you want? Intention. Well, am I living this way now? No. What do I need to do to get there? And then go do it. That’s we need that framework. But more so, getting back to the what is the one thing that Rob asked It’s this aware it’s this awareness, back to the awareness of what does mental toughness look like? It’s having the awareness that there are different levels to mindset, and they’re so easy to point identifying others and ourselves. And once you know this, Now now we’ve taken this esoteric thing and turn it into something concrete where you can move up and down the ladder. It’s the same thing. Like, you need to know how to get fit. But you have no idea what fitness looks like. How do you know to do it? Right.

Eric Deschamps:

But

Ben Bergeron:

once you know, like, hey. If you’re fit, you could run a 5 minute mile. If you’re kind of fit, you can run a 7 minute mile. If you’re active, you can run a 9 minute mile. And if you’re not really there, if you’re kind of, like, hedging on sickness, It looks like a 12 minute while, 13, 14 minute mile. Cool. Now that we know that, let’s go do this thing. What’s the same thing with mindset? All you do is you create the hierarchy of mindset, and the lowest level is a victim mindset. The victim says, what was me? Life is out to get me. Why is this happening to me? The next level above that is the pessimist, pessimist complaint. This sucks I hate this. Why is this they’re the ones that I could play about the other side of the political spectrum. They’re the ones that get all caught up in COVID. The next step above that is the optimist. The optimist thinks that the future can be bright in the past, but it’s not the highest level. This is the median. This is the middle where everyone thinks they should be aspiring to. This is the middle. This is not where we’re trying to get to. This is just like, we’re not hurting yourself. Right. This is the middle.

Eric Deschamps:

You’re you’re in neutral gear. It’s like you’re in neutral. At optimist, you’re like in neutral gear.

Rob Dale:

Yes.

Eric Deschamps:

But at

Ben Bergeron:

least we’re not going backwards. Right?

Eric Deschamps:

So this is

Ben Bergeron:

This is a good place to strive to be. And, the offense is futures bright in the past, and they see obstacles, not others. They see opportunities, not obstacles, but They lack bracing because they’re like, it’s gonna be great. It’ll be fine. It’ll be good. And all of a sudden, they don’t make the sale. Their child does get sick. COVID does last 2 years, and they get shattered. The great example of that is prisoners of war that are optimists die before the pessimists because they’re like, it’s okay. We’ll be off by Christmas. Comes and goes. They die of a broken heart. So what we wanna do is we wanna rise above that from the victim to the pessimist, past the Optimus to something that we could all aspire to which is the realist. The realist just accepts reality for what it is. Right. And when you say that loud, it’s like, well, why would we do anything else? And the reason is we, as human beings, are storytelling machines. We like to create stories about things that have happened in our lives.

Eric Deschamps:

Yeah. It’s so true.

Ben Bergeron:

Create stories. And they go, this is what happened. And this is why it happened. And this is what this means, and this is what this no. It’s just like, it rained on your birthday. There’s there’s no it just rained on your birthday. Accept it, and we move on.

Eric Deschamps:

Right?

Ben Bergeron:

It rained when you went camping. That wasn’t because but this always happens to me. Like, this always this this sucks. This like, no. It’s raining and you’re camping. Like, now we deal with with that. Anything less than the realist is just storytelling. Another word for storytelling is creating drama.

Eric Deschamps:

Right. If

Ben Bergeron:

you’re less than an optimist, you’re creating extra drama in your life. Meaning, you’re not moving the needle down You’re not moving the ball down the field farther than you would be otherwise because you have a hard time accepting that the universe has presented this thing not because it likes you or dislikes you. Now if we can get there and live there a little bit, and by the way, you’re not, like, always in 1, every day you’re gonna bounce and forth between all of these things. Right. But the idea is can we rise above that to the highest level, which is the warrior mindset? And what the warrior mindset does is looks at adversities, not only as this is a necessary part of life that is gonna be unavoidable They actually cherish them. They want them because what the warrior understands is that only only through the universe giving you adversity can you grow and evolve? Only it’s the only way. It is the only way. If you know how to type at a certain pace Only trying to go faster or trying to type harder words will make you a better type That’s it. Now that’s adversity. It’s harder. If you stay at the same pace, you stay where you are, meaning you don’t grow and evolve. This is why the warrior, the the the the the samurai who has dominated the dojo ends up roaming the earth looking for a worthy foe because they know what that will bring out of themselves. Now That’s a pretty elevated state. I’m not saying ever all of us will get there, but all of us can aspire for sure to start to climb the ladder and different people are gonna triggered by different things in their lives. And that, basically, the the question then becomes. This is the question we want to ask ourselves at all times. Can I handle this? When something happens, can I handle this? Can I handle this? And if you feel yourself creeping into the pessimist or the victim, you can’t handle it. And the way you handle it, is try to change the framework of your mental dialogue to at least an optimist, if not a realist or a warrior. But that’s it.

Rob Dale:

Yeah. So powerful. I I love that, Ben. I cannot believe that you missed the the this was a perfect off opportunity to use the analogy or using the sahmr using all these great analogies, right? The only way that you build muscle is by tearing it down. Like, come on, man. You had, like, that was that was a gift that you could’ve used as an example there of the warrior and as the fitness guy too cliche. Too cliche. Too overused. Listen. We’re we’re we’re almost out of time. I feel like we could do 10 episodes with you. I do wanna I I wanna mention because the other book that you wrote unlocking potential is uh-uh equally in different ways for me was really, a powerful book. It was interesting. I shared this with all of our Rhapsody coaches And I said this book, Ben, has somehow managed to get inside the brain of Rhapsody, and has written a book. If we were to write a book about business, the business kind of business model, it would be this book. You use you are clearly influenced by the same people that were influenced by all of this, the chapters around whether it’s covey’s work on, on, you know, control, the things that within your control, whether it’s, you know, there’s, some stuff in there from, a number of people, Bergeron, work the e myth. There’s a whole bunch of stuff in there, that you talk about in this book, which I think is absolutely great. You built, and then tore down and then built and had to modify during COVID. Again, one of the most successful gyms in in in the world and you wrote a book about what you did there. You were pretty honest in the book about, staffing issues. Building your team. You talk a lot about finding a way to get them into the what you call the flow, which I think is brilliant. Maybe just talk to. We have a lot of business owners that listen to the podcast. We are connected to so many business owners. What would be a kind of a nugget of leadership system that you would provide from your experience that we could pass on to our business and entrepreneurs.

Ben Bergeron:

Yeah. There’s a lot from, you know, the way that you you structure the business to be able to set it up for success, meeting, you know, creating what we talked about, creating the North Star, the clarity of vision, the values, you know, we call it like CVS, it’s culture vision systems. There’s really 2 pillars that this thing resides upon, which is the way that you build the product and the way you market it, the way you market it involves the customer journey and, so on. But one of the more obvious, but powerful leadership things that I’ve learned the hard way is there is there is no substitute. There just isn’t no substitute for a the the potential power that a leader can have than being there seen face to face. And COVID’s created this really strange slash unique opportunity for people to work from home remotely, you know, which is really neat because before COVID, we might not have had the opportunity to do something like this, but you will not be able to lead a team the way that you could otherwise if it was in person. That’s just not. Most recently, I’ve really, doubled down on this. I have a really nice office with a whole bunch of windows. I haven’t been in my office in weeks. I do all my work in the common areas. And if I need privacy, I go into our conference room, which is a glass conference room. We call it, like, the aquarium because it looks like you’re an aquarium. And just so just so I can be seen. I used to take my one on one meetings in my office with a closed door. I now do it in the aquarium. So if people can see me having a meeting with a like, just being seen. Yeah. That’s so, not sexy advice. It’s so like, that’s just like to be there. But I really can’t emphasize it enough for leaders to be the it’s kinda like imagine the head of an, football team or a hockey team doing all their work from the office. Right? Like, it it they know they need to be on the field. They need to be on the ice. With that team. You have to be there. You guys use the word tribe earlier on. This is what tribes are built upon. There is no leader of a tribe that isn’t in the same, like, the same physical location. You can’t be removed. And this is what, I mean, even like the, you know, the president of the United States when terms in times of whether you at any time, it doesn’t matter who the president is. They this is like 101 of leadership when there are the, you know, the the the hurricanes when there’s the fires in Maui when there’s the where they go there. They go no. Being there doesn’t change it, they do all the same things, implement all the same systems from afar. But you have to be physically there. We, as human beings, are tribal beings. We grew up in tribes of 150 hierarchically with a leader. When you walk in the room, people size each other up. It’s not right or wrong. It’s built into your DNA. And if we want to be a leader, you have to be physically present. And it’s one of the things that I struggle with a lot because I would rather be in my office. I’d rather be plugging away and doing my stuff. I’m introverted and I like to be I’m more productive when I’m, not out in the open. But from a leader perspective, 2 days ago, I’d I poached up on we have a bunch of pileo boxes boxes that people would jump on in the gym. And I just went and grabbed a bunch of those and did my work in the gym while classes were going on. Because I should I I need to be seen. I need to be there.

Eric Deschamps:

Yeah. So good. Such great advice. I think it was Ken Blanchard a long time ago who wrote in the 1 minute manager he would call what you’re referring to as management by walking around. Right? It’s it’s it’s being present, being there such great advice for all the leaders that are listening. Listen, before we wrap up, we’ve gotta ask you, we know that you you just recently retired, right, It doesn’t sound like you’re retired. It sounds like you’re just refocused on other things now or focusing doubling down on things you’re already doing, but what’s next for you in the coming months? And And, Ken, what can we expect to see coming from, from you and your organization that would, line up with the living richly mantra?

Ben Bergeron:

I re I spent the last 15 years working with a very small select group of very elite athletes. I I I usually worked with 4 or less a year. Just trying to get them to the very pinnacle of elite fitness. What I’m doing now is bringing the lessons I’ve learned over those last 15 years working with the best of the best. And bringing them to anybody and everybody who believes that training hard is an important part of being them best selves. What we talked about. Like, it starts with the physical. And we’ve learned a lot. I’ve learned a lot in terms of, like, what makes the very best 1% better but I’ve also, because I had this dual role of running a gym for soccer moms and dads, figured out how to bring that to a bigger audience. And that’s what the I’m doing now through this platform that you guys mentioned called CompTuring. It’s an app that you can download it on the App Store or Google, and it is really, really powerful, really, really effective training that’s built for anybody that believes that training hard is important. It’s not the crossfit games. It’s not walking on your hands and, you know, swinging £300 above your head. It’s set up for anybody to be successful, but it’s effective real training. It’s not boot camp or Pilates or spin or not to bash those things because they’re the right the the bets Bergeron step than than not being there. But this is very, very, again, awareness, intention action. What is the thing that’s gonna create real real change with somebody? Let’s create that platform and let’s go do it. Let’s get these people to be the best versions of themselves.

Eric Deschamps:

That’s awesome. We’re gonna we’re gonna put all of that information including links to your books and your website and your YouTube channel, link to the app all in the show notes of today’s episode. For those of you that are listening, Ben, this has been, an absolute treat to have you on the show. I feel we could talk for hours. Literally, I feel is just this sense of kindred spirit you use so much of the same language and, just look at the world in such a similar way. We hope to be able to have you back at some point in the future. If you’d, if you’d welcome the invitation to be back on the show, for those of you listening, thanks for tuning in this week. I hope you’ve enjoyed this conversation. We encourage you to go to our website living richly.ney where you can find all the resources, including show notes and everything else. From today’s talk.

Rob Dale:

And make sure that you take a moment and like, subscribe to our, the podcast subscribe. If you’re watching on YouTube or listening to one of the different podcast platforms, make sure you subscribe so you don’t miss any of the episodes coming up. We’ve got some exciting guests and some different episodes that are gonna be, I think really worth your listen and watching, and encourage you as well. If this is, You’re thinking of somebody going, boy, they would really benefit from hearing what Ben had to share. Then why don’t you take a moment and share that, tag them, let them know this is about the the living richly nation. It’s about making sure that we embrace and welcome others into the community, and we would encourage you to do your part in in that as well.

Eric Deschamps:

Thanks again for tuning in folks. We hope that we’ll see you next week. And until then, get out there and live your best life.

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